Did your first crush determine who you're attracted to now?

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    Mar 30, 2008 8:58 PM GMT
    Someone created a thread asking if you're attracted to guys who are similar to you. I thought about that and realized, no, who I'm attracted to now is very much similar to the first guy I had a crush on, who was also the first guy I fooled around with.

    So I'm curious, how many others think that their first crush or first "experience" imprinted you with a permanent type that you're attracted to?

    For me, it's very obvious. My first guy had dark hair, dark eyes, and was slim and smooth. He also had a kind, gentle soul and a shy smile. That's still the type of guy that gets my attention the quickest.
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    Mar 30, 2008 8:59 PM GMT
    my first guy was the biggest son of a bitch u could ever date...despite the fact that he looked like a prince....i hate his guts!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2008 9:28 PM GMT
    yes, the first guys i fell in love with continue to influence my tastes to this day.
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    Mar 30, 2008 10:51 PM GMT
    The original guy I dated is nothing really like the guys I go for now except for the fact that they don't really seem to be gay at all, even though they def are. I also seem to be drawn towards guys that are outgoing and social, since I am a bit more withdrawn which is a characteristic I'd like to change in myself. I always find things attractive in others personalities that I seem to lack in mine that I would like to have.
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    Mar 30, 2008 11:40 PM GMT
    I've never yet *blushes* been in a relationship with a guy, so thus, no love... and no first "type"... icon_redface.gif

    BUT, I will say, I am attracted to a certain type, just because it's what I see as ideal for me. I know my personality and what attributes and features in a guy bring out my best.

    I think the reason it may seem that we're attracted to the same type as our first guy is that maybe, partially, you're still trying to find another copy of him. But at the same time, the first guy was the first one you really liked... You had a type, your first guy happened to match that, and you are still after the same thing.

    Just a bunch of subjective, uneducated thoughts... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 31, 2008 12:52 AM GMT
    Moudi saidmy first guy was the biggest son of a bitch u could ever date...despite the fact that he looked like a prince....i hate his guts!


    Hahahahaha you just described my first guy. However, I have no hatred for the man. I have always said my very first relationship I developed with a guy taught me a lot. He was my first male to male physical encounter and unlike some that first experience was incredible. I'll always be thankful to him for that memory. I was allowed to experience the full effect of intimacy that first time and learned real quick what gets me going in the sex department.

    Unfortunately, I also learned that real pretty doesn't always come with brains or a personality. He definitely fit my personal ideal in appearance which was something I acquired well before him but he also is my ideal example of what I'd never want in regard to developing a long term situation.

    We do cross paths on occasion and I still tell him... He was one of the best lays I've ever had but probably one of the most boring mother fuckers I've ever met in my life. :-)
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    Mar 31, 2008 1:05 AM GMT
    Just the opposite with me. As I have grown older, I find that my "types" have broadened. As a matter of fact, every guy I have dated or fallen for has broken my type I had before when I thought .. that guy would not be my type.

    For example, the first guy was HIV+, the second was a little overweight, the third smoked, etc. Only one or two of the guys I was initially attracted to. I think it is because I tend to look beneath the surface .. thats just the way I am.

    Who you will date may say more about you than the person you date.
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    Mar 31, 2008 1:12 AM GMT
    Like ActiveAndFit, my types have broadened with age. My high school crush really didn't affect me in the way that yours has, Global_Citizen.
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    Mar 31, 2008 1:16 AM GMT
    Haven't considered that, but it might be true. The first guy I dated is a Navy officer (Academy man). I definitely have a thing for the clean-cut, short-hair military look, but I can't say if the chicken or the egg came first.
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    Mar 31, 2008 1:39 AM GMT
    Yup, my first crush was my best friend in HS. I didn't realize I had fallen for him til we parted. He was my world for a while, we hung out everyday. I was unsure of myself at that time, who knows what would have happened if I truely knew myself when we hungout the most. We stayed in contact, up til I moved to Seattle a year and a half ago. I told him afew years ago that I am gay. He did not mind, He was actually mad cuz I told our mutual girlfriends much sooner. He married and has a few kids now. I am most attracted to guys that resemble him physically, mentally, and personality wise. He was my best friend, I'd do anything for him even to this day.

    Miah I love ya man.
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    Mar 31, 2008 2:01 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit saidJust the opposite with me. As I have grown older, I find that my "types" have broadened. As a matter of fact, every guy I have dated or fallen for has broken my type I had before when I thought .. that guy would not be my type.

    For example, the first guy was HIV+, the second was a little overweight, the third smoked, etc. Only one or two of the guys I was initially attracted to. I think it is because I tend to look beneath the surface .. thats just the way I am.

    Who you will date may say more about you than the person you date.


    Maybe your type has been consistent. Just not in the looks department. It's like you said it goes beyond the surface. Maybe the smoker and the over weight guy had something similar in personality? Maybe all along personality was the key for your attractions.

    My physical taste in men has always been consistent as long as I can remember. I think I'm actually similar to the dude above who falls for that clean cut somewhat military look. Ironically my very first BF was in the Military and my husband was in LE. Go figure. I never gave much thought about that similarity before. Personality is key with me to bring it all together but yet they need to have both qualities for me to feel good with it.

    No crush has ever changed my taste in appearance. I can remember at the age of 4 finding a certain physical type attractive. But, trial and error with personality has defined what I prefer in that area.

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    Mar 31, 2008 2:08 AM GMT
    jsttennis77 saidMaybe your type has been consistent. Just not in the looks department. It's like you said it goes beyond the surface. Maybe the smoker and the over weight guy had something similar in personality? Maybe all along personality was the key for your attractions?
    lol, no, they were all pretty different.. no, very different. One was a hothead, one was outgoing but quiet and sweet, one was outspoken, one was a strong silent type. 2 of them were more needy types and 2 were the opposite.
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    Mar 31, 2008 5:23 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said[quote][cite]jsttennis77 said[/cite]Maybe your type has been consistent. Just not in the looks department. It's like you said it goes beyond the surface. Maybe the smoker and the over weight guy had something similar in personality? Maybe all along personality was the key for your attractions?
    lol, no, they were all pretty different.. no, very different. One was a hothead, one was outgoing but quiet and sweet, one was outspoken, one was a strong silent type. 2 of them were more needy types and 2 were the opposite.[/quote]

    Cool we will call you an equal opportunity kinda guy. I like that!
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    Mar 31, 2008 5:50 AM GMT
    jsttennis77 saidCool we will call you an equal opportunity kinda guy. I like that!
    icon_confused.gif Then again maybe I was just experimenting .. too many science/chemistry/electronics kits growing up maybe.
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    Mar 31, 2008 5:55 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said[quote][cite]jsttennis77 said[/cite]Cool we will call you an equal opportunity kinda guy. I like that!
    icon_confused.gif Then again maybe I was just experimenting .. too many science/chemistry/electronics kits growing up maybe.[/quote]


    icon_razz.gif Great sense of humor. Sexy quality!

  • scrumrob

    Posts: 92

    Mar 31, 2008 6:20 AM GMT
    Not really. My first crush was in 6th grade and sat at the desk in front of me. He just fascinated me. He was dark blonde with green eyes, but when I got to college and since, it has definitely been really men with black or very dark brown hair. I would have to say the first man I really loved was the most different. Just over 7 feet tall, blue eyes, bottom front teeth a little bit crooked crooked, and so fit and warm to the touch. He is also the only man taller than me who ever attracted me.
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    Mar 31, 2008 6:23 AM GMT
    Jesus... 7 feet tall? Thats a big man!! Climb on board !! DAMN!
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    Mar 31, 2008 2:26 PM GMT
    ActiveAndFit saidAs I have grown older, I find that my "types" have broadened.


    Notwithstanding what I wrote originally, this is probably true of me also. Although it's still that one type that gets my attention quickest, as I have encountered other people who are not so narrowly within that type, I have found things about them that I find attractive.

    For instance, I never used to be attracted to guys who were much taller than me, until a few years ago I met a guy who was just so nice and so beautiful, and he was about three inches taller. But at that point I really had to be honest with myself about the silly parameters I put up about who I would be attracted to.

    This has broadened the range of what I now consider "my type" so that my type is now more diverse than it was years ago. But still, put in front of me a guy that reminds me of him and I notice immediately.
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    Oct 18, 2013 12:02 AM GMT
    Sort of, he was smart, kind, athletic, talented, cute, likeable, and unapproachable. Usually one or two of those factors have played a factor in my attraction to guys in the past. Not interested in any one at the moment; though I intend to keep those details to myself, and make them crushes with guys I actually talk to and have a chance with in real life; while I still have life to live.
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Oct 18, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    My first crush was when I was 6 or 7.
    I don't rememeber shit.
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Oct 18, 2013 12:50 AM GMT
    Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe our first crush was our first indication of what kind of man we're attracted to? Certainly that suggests that later, when we see something new (as far as a type of man) whom we never saw before, that would either influence the type of man we're attracted to or it would be an against-the-grain sort of excitement because it was new, but we'd revert.

    In my case I've always been attracted to MEN - strong, aggressive, hot in a physical way. Beyond that I'd say that an athlete is the closest thing to a "most preferred type" I have and have always had since watching football (soccer as I now call it here in the US) as a kid.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2013 12:51 AM GMT
    No
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    Oct 18, 2013 12:57 AM GMT
    Nope. Not in the least.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2013 12:59 AM GMT
    Nope! ^_^ I never crush on guys who look the same...
  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Oct 18, 2013 1:03 AM GMT
    yesicon_biggrin.gif