I Will Hold you Ten Times

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    Feb 02, 2011 1:48 PM GMT
    I Will Hold You Ten Times

    1. I will hold you, Daniel.

    2. The lesions don't bother me, I will hold you.

    3. I will pretend nothing is wrong when you want me to pretend and when you want me to hold you, I will hold you.

    4. I will make plans with you to go to your favorite places that we both know you can no longer go and I will sit with you and look at your pictures of these places and I will hold you.

    5. I will ride with you on the train to your doctor's office and when you get sick in the station, I will hold you.

    6. I will see the Post-It notes you put all over the house reminding yourself to do everyday things like "Turn off stove" and "Lock front door" and I'll pretend the disease isn't robbing your mind and when you tell me something for the third time in ten minutes, I won't let you know, I will hold you.

    7. I will go to Safeway with you because you need to get out into the world, and when the diarrhea overwhelms you and you shit your pants in the middle of the store, I will call us a cab and in the cab, I will hold you.

    8. I will make you mix-tapes of our favorite songs from last summer, just like you asked me to, and when the memories make you sad instead of happy and you throw the tapes in the trash, I won't get angry, I will hold you.

    9. I will sit up all night with you because the fevers and night sweats won't let you sleep. In the morning, I will change your drenched sheets and help you out of the shower and when you weep from the sight of your withered body in the mirror on the bathroom door, I will hold you.

    10. I will hold you, Daniel.
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    Feb 02, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    Source and background:
    http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2011/02/i-will-hold-you-ten-times.html
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    Feb 02, 2011 4:02 PM GMT
    This made me tear up. Really sucks
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    Feb 02, 2011 4:10 PM GMT
    This is extremely touching.
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    Feb 02, 2011 4:17 PM GMT
    Wishing you solace and comfort on Daniel's birthday..
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    Feb 02, 2011 8:43 PM GMT
    Beautiful
  • allatonce

    Posts: 904

    Feb 03, 2011 1:40 AM GMT
    Heartbreaking.
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    Feb 04, 2011 11:19 PM GMT
    That was really nice.


    Also, does anyone else notice that RealJock says this thread has negative replies? Right now on my computer it says "-11".
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    Mar 06, 2011 11:34 PM GMT
    Touching.. there was real everlasting love
    xx
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    Mar 07, 2011 1:01 AM GMT
    So sad... It reminds me of a song performed by Concrete Blonde about a woman dying of AIDS:

    It is complete now, two ends of time are neatly tied.
    A one-way street, she's walking to the end of the line.
    And there she meets the faces she keeps in her heart and mind.

    They say 'good bye' Tomorrow, Wendy, you're going to die.
    They say 'good bye' Tomorrow, Wendy, you're going to die.

    Underneath the chilly gray November sky
    We can make believe that Kennedy is still alive and
    We're shooting for the moon and smiling Jackie's driving by and

    They say 'good try'
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die.
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die.

    I told the priest, don't count on any second coming.
    God got his ass kicked the first time he came down here slumming.
    He had the balls to come, the gall to die and then forgive us.
    No, I don't wonder why, I wonder what he thought it would get us.
    Hey, hey, good bye.
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die.

    Hey, hey, good bye.
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die.
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die.

    Hey, hey, good bye.
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die.
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die.

    Only God says jump,
    So I set the time
    'Cause if he ever saw her
    It was through these eyes of mine!
    And if he ever suffered it was me who did his crying.

    Hey hey, good bye.
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die
    (Tomorrow Wendy's going to die)
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die
    (Tomorrow Wendy's going to die)
    Tomorrow Wendy'd going to die

    Hey, hey, good bye
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die

    Hey, hey, good bye
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die
    Tomorrow Wendy's going to die
    Tomorrow Wendys going to die
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Mar 07, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    Upper_Canadian saidI Will Hold You Ten Times

    1. I will hold you, Daniel.

    2. The lesions don't bother me, I will hold you.

    3. I will pretend nothing is wrong when you want me to pretend and when you want me to hold you, I will hold you.

    4. I will make plans with you to go to your favorite places that we both know you can no longer go and I will sit with you and look at your pictures of these places and I will hold you.

    5. I will ride with you on the train to your doctor's office and when you get sick in the station, I will hold you.

    6. I will see the Post-It notes you put all over the house reminding yourself to do everyday things like "Turn off stove" and "Lock front door" and I'll pretend the disease isn't robbing your mind and when you tell me something for the third time in ten minutes, I won't let you know, I will hold you.

    7. I will go to Safeway with you because you need to get out into the world, and when the diarrhea overwhelms you and you shit your pants in the middle of the store, I will call us a cab and in the cab, I will hold you.

    8. I will make you mix-tapes of our favorite songs from last summer, just like you asked me to, and when the memories make you sad instead of happy and you throw the tapes in the trash, I won't get angry, I will hold you.

    9. I will sit up all night with you because the fevers and night sweats won't let you sleep. In the morning, I will change your drenched sheets and help you out of the shower and when you weep from the sight of your withered body in the mirror on the bathroom door, I will hold you.

    10. I will hold you, Daniel.


    This is the vary definition of true love!!!

  • Karnage

    Posts: 704

    Mar 07, 2011 11:33 PM GMT
    mane8tuh1 saidThis made me tear up. Really sucks


    Wow, me too
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    Mar 07, 2011 11:41 PM GMT
    OP should have sourced his post.
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    Mar 15, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    I think Daniel should learn to hold himself.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 15, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    If this is not the definition of unconditional love, I don't know what is. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful passage of courage, love and understanding.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Mar 15, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    No negative replies here were needed...or welcomed for that matter.

    I choked up when I read this.

    God Bless Daniel.
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    Mar 15, 2011 2:51 AM GMT
    I just read this for the 4th time. I can't stop busting out laughing over it. icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 15, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    This is beautiful. There is so much love from the passage.
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    Mar 15, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    But you have to admit it's slightly funny in the way it romaticizes Aids, right? I can't be the only one who cracked up laughing over this..

    I mean the lesions don't bother me! I'll pretend the disease isn't robbing you of your mind! When the diarrhea overwhelms you and you shit your pants! I will change your drenched sheets as you look at your withering body in the mirror!

    Excuse me as I vomit all over you...hold me!
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    Mar 15, 2011 7:38 PM GMT
    You know, FatSlut- you're a disgusting human being. I'm not sure why you have such a need to be such a shit but I hope you get the therapy you need.

    Re: OP- I hope you get all the comfort you need.
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    Mar 16, 2011 2:05 PM GMT
    blactor saidYou know, FatSlut- you're a disgusting human being. I'm not sure why you have such a need to be such a shit but I hope you get the therapy you need.

    Re: OP- I hope you get all the comfort you need.


    Well, he's gone hidden, which is a help. Mortality rides his shoulders as it does everyone else. Whether it's AIDS, cancer, Parkinson's, a comorbid illness, his own moment of truth will come, unless he tries to never love another for any reason (and good luck with that). I'm guessing that he's expecting everyone to shun him should he ever get a fatal illness.

    -Doug


    xo to UC and Daniel


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    Mar 16, 2011 2:29 PM GMT
    mane8tuh1 saidThis made me tear up. Really sucks
    Me too. It's applicable to so many diseases where you feel helpless but your presence is a gift in and of itself. My thoughts were of my mother who died of Alzheimer's. We all need to be held at some point in our lives, but particularly when our days are fading.
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    Aug 23, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    FatSlutWhore saidBut you have to admit it's slightly funny in the way it romaticizes Aids, right? I can't be the only one who cracked up laughing over this..

    I mean the lesions don't bother me! I'll pretend the disease isn't robbing you of your mind! When the diarrhea overwhelms you and you shit your pants! I will change your drenched sheets as you look at your withering body in the mirror!

    Excuse me as I vomit all over you...hold me!


    As a former home care nurse who took care of men living (and dying of AIDS - it's all capitalized, dip shit...) in the 1990's, your insensitivity is truly amazing. Just remember when you are at death's door - and we're all going through that door each and every one of us - as an old, lonely, and cynical man, you'd wish you'd have someone lucky enough to hold you. You bastard...