Age Preference: Does it make you a shallow person?

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    Feb 02, 2011 11:40 PM GMT
    Ever since I started meeting guys, I've always been interested in older man, late 20's to late 30's. Now that I'm a bit older and got my life together, i decided to only meet guys around my age. So I told this older guy i used to date that i just wanted to be friends and he completely flipped out. He said i was a shallow person for letting society dictate my decisions. So he wouldn't even consider being my friend anymore. I'm just trying to be honest...
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    Feb 03, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    pipe9000 saidEver since I started meeting guys, I've always been interested in older man, late 20's to late 30's. Now that I'm a bit older and got my life together, i decided to only meet guys around my age. So I told this older guy i used to date that i just wanted to be friends and he completely flipped out. He said i was a shallow person for letting society dictate my decisions. So he wouldn't even consider being my friend anymore. I'm just trying to be honest...




    Buddy you date whoever you want, and that is perfectly o.k! I personally have no issues if someone doesn't want to date or even want to be with me anymore let be for whatever reason! if there is one thing I hate more in this world is wasting someone's time much less my own!!



    Leandro ♥
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    Feb 03, 2011 12:32 AM GMT
    Hey,
    Thanks for the reply. It's nice to hear that from an older person. You are definitely right, people just need to be mature about stuff and respect other peoples decisions!
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    No, it doesn't make you a shallow person. I would not date a 21 y/o because, despite what you say, very few have their lives together and that's OK; it's just the stage of their life. I, on the other hand, am shallow because while I won't date you, I have no problem with a one night stand with you. icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:35 AM GMT
    i know i'm only 21, but i've never met a MATURE adult that told me "age is just a number"
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    pipe9000 saidEver since I started meeting guys, I've always been interested in older man, late 20's to late 30's. Now that I'm a bit older and got my life together, i decided to only meet guys around my age. So I told this older guy i used to date that i just wanted to be friends and he completely flipped out. He said i was a shallow person for letting society dictate my decisions. So he wouldn't even consider being my friend anymore. I'm just trying to be honest...



    Us hispanic men are often attracted to older men... not sure why, but that seems to be a trend.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Feb 03, 2011 1:39 AM GMT
    I believe that when you limit the age of people you will date and be friends with that you miss out on meeting a lot of nice people. And a date doesn't have to lead to sex, although most gay men expect it to... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    pipe9000 saidEver since I started meeting guys, I've always been interested in older man, late 20's to late 30's. Now that I'm a bit older and got my life together, i decided to only meet guys around my age. So I told this older guy i used to date that i just wanted to be friends and he completely flipped out. He said i was a shallow person for letting society dictate my decisions. So he wouldn't even consider being my friend anymore. I'm just trying to be honest...

    You've forgotten a key point that a few idiots haven't taken into account yet.

    He was being honest with you.

    See that little gem there ya little butt nugget... yeah... that little gem there says everything... But just for the idiots I'll break it down.

    You two were dating... obviously you broke up.. he still likes you.. suddenly for what ever pathetic reason you've decided that you only want to date men your own age.. thus you have again for what ever stupid reason you have now moved him outta the potential category.

    He did not like that.. he does not want a friendship with you.. HE was being honest and pissed off.

    Your excuse of "I'm just trying to be honest..." is as valid as his..

    So shut ya little whiny mouth.
  • FredMG

    Posts: 988

    Feb 03, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    I love LilTanker's reply, not just for it's refreshing honesty, but for artistic use of the phrase "butt nugget".

    I give you 9.8 out of ten!
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    Feb 03, 2011 2:15 AM GMT
    Aggieboy said

    Us hispanic men are often attracted to older men... not sure why, but that seems to be a trend.


    I'll adhere myself to that. No one under 35 for me, thx.
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    Feb 03, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Aggieboy said

    Us hispanic men are often attracted to older men... not sure why, but that seems to be a trend.


    I'll adhere myself to that. No one under 35 for me, thx.


    That's not what you said last night! icon_confused.gif
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    Feb 03, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    collegekid2004 said
    Ariodante said
    Aggieboy said

    Us hispanic men are often attracted to older men... not sure why, but that seems to be a trend.


    I'll adhere myself to that. No one under 35 for me, thx.


    That's not what you said last night! icon_confused.gif


    last night I said no under me under 35 >_>
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    Feb 03, 2011 2:20 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    pipe9000 saidEver since I started meeting guys, I've always been interested in older man, late 20's to late 30's. Now that I'm a bit older and got my life together, i decided to only meet guys around my age. So I told this older guy i used to date that i just wanted to be friends and he completely flipped out. He said i was a shallow person for letting society dictate my decisions. So he wouldn't even consider being my friend anymore. I'm just trying to be honest...

    You've forgotten a key point that a few idiots haven't taken into account yet.

    He was being honest with you.

    See that little gem there ya little butt nugget... yeah... that little gem there says everything... But just for the idiots I'll break it down.

    You two were dating... obviously you broke up.. he still likes you.. suddenly for what ever pathetic reason you've decided that you only want to date men your own age.. thus you have again for what ever stupid reason you have now moved him outta the potential category.

    He did not like that.. he does not want a friendship with you.. HE was being honest and pissed off.

    Your excuse of "I'm just trying to be honest..." is as valid as his..

    So shut ya little whiny mouth.



    I enjoy how you mix wisdom with humor; it is very entertaining and thought provoking at the same time! but you know LilTanker someone have to give and just let go off the unnessary drama that is so typical of a break-up! I personally have no issues if a guy who I am dating all of the sudden decides to dump or leave me, and regardless of the reason; personally he most certainly is giving me a huge favor. I hate wasting people's time because they sure waste my time for others who may well appreciate my time with them! life is too short and full of better things to wasted with people who are only living it for themselves, right!


    Leandro ♥
  • rebelbeard

    Posts: 558

    Feb 03, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    You are not a shallow person! You like what you like and no one should judge you for that. He was just being sensitive because he got let down over something he is probably already insecure about. Rejection is hard for some people. Don't sweat it dude!
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    Feb 03, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Aggieboy said

    Us hispanic men are often attracted to older men... not sure why, but that seems to be a trend.


    I'll adhere myself to that. No one under 35 for me, thx.


    And I second that!


    Leandro ♥
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    Feb 03, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    ALEZANDAR saidI enjoy how you mix wisdom with humor; it is very entertaining and thought provoking at the same time! but you know LilTanker someone have to give and just let go off the unnessary drama that is so typical of a break-up! I personally have no issues if a guy who I am dating all of the sudden decides to dump or leave me, and regardless of the reason; personally he most certainly is giving me a huge favor. I hate wasting people's time because they sure waste my time for others who may well appreciate my time with them! life is too short and full of better things to wasted with people who are only living it for themselves, right!


    Leandro ♥

    I'm in agreement with you. BUT, if you dump someone and they get pissed at you they do have every right to be pissed at you and I think many of us are forgetting that.

    Just because your fine with breaking up with someone and will handle it well it doesn't mean the other person will. They are getting hurt from the other persons actions and trying to put "I was just being honest" is absolutely no way in hell an excuse or reason for the other person to not feel upset and or angry over what's taken place.

    We are all entitled to our feelings and reactions and just because you or I might react or behave differently doesn't mean the other person will or has to.

    I think it's a sign of respect for people as a whole when you allow them to express what ever feelings they have without judging them for it like the individual who started this thread especially when it is something that by natural design an intensely emotional experience for everyone.
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    Feb 03, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    I think I'd go for 23-30...after that, it's a little much. It's not that guys past 30 aren't attractive, I just don't know what we could possibly talk about! My biggest problem right now is whether I want to go back to business school or stay in the industry. I don't expect many people that aren't in my age range to get that. And I really wouldn't be turned on by a guy who was like, "well, when I was your age..."

    But honestly if an older guy really liked me (and vice versa), I'd totally give it a shot. Life's too short to put arbitrary limits (like age) on dating.
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    Feb 03, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    malefeet saidI believe that when you limit the age of people you will date and be friends with that you miss out on meeting a lot of nice people. And a date doesn't have to lead to sex, although most gay men expect it to... icon_rolleyes.gif


    Oh i don't mind a friendship with an older man. I welcome it! They are smart and experienced. This guy just didn't want to be my friend because i don't want to date him? seriously...
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    Feb 03, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    pipe9000 said
    malefeet saidI believe that when you limit the age of people you will date and be friends with that you miss out on meeting a lot of nice people. And a date doesn't have to lead to sex, although most gay men expect it to... icon_rolleyes.gif


    Oh i don't mind a friendship with an older man. I welcome it! They are smart and experienced. This guy just didn't want to be my friend because i don't want to date him? seriously...


    I've gotten that a lot, especially lately. It's either that we can't be friends because I won't date him, or we can't be friends because I don't sleep with my friends.
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    Feb 03, 2011 3:06 AM GMT
    Nah just means u done some growing up n realized that maybe the age difference does play a factor in ones romantic relationship. ..... :i
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    Feb 03, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    iVan90 saidNah just means u done some growing up n realized that maybe the age difference does play a factor in ones romantic relationship. ..... :i


    Well Said! That's definitely one of the reasons.
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    Feb 03, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    ALEZANDAR saidI enjoy how you mix wisdom with humor; it is very entertaining and thought provoking at the same time! but you know LilTanker someone have to give and just let go off the unnessary drama that is so typical of a break-up! I personally have no issues if a guy who I am dating all of the sudden decides to dump or leave me, and regardless of the reason; personally he most certainly is giving me a huge favor. I hate wasting people's time because they sure waste my time for others who may well appreciate my time with them! life is too short and full of better things to wasted with people who are only living it for themselves, right!


    Leandro ♥

    I'm in agreement with you. BUT, if you dump someone and they get pissed at you they do have every right to be pissed at you and I think many of us are forgetting that.

    Just because your fine with breaking up with someone and will handle it well it doesn't mean the other person will. They are getting hurt from the other persons actions and trying to put "I was just being honest" is absolutely no way in hell an excuse or reason for the other person to not feel upset and or angry over what's taken place.

    We are all entitled to our feelings and reactions and just because you or I might react or behave differently doesn't mean the other person will or has to.

    I think it's a sign of respect for people as a whole when you allow them to express what ever feelings they have without judging them for it like the individual who started this thread especially when it is something that by natural design an intensely emotional experience for everyone.



    You are absolutely right as always, and I mean it, really! but what is one to do my dear LilTanker? what is one to do?? do you honestly think that if you feel right about something that you would apologize for feeling so!? in the end wouldn't it be better to just let go in the now, then to remain in a relationship and in the process feel as if you are just in it because your other half doesn't want to hurt your feelings? or worse yet the awful feeling of being rejected? can you just imagine how much more damaging either way it could do to one's own self worth not to mention image!?

    Don't think I don't understand what you are saying My LilTanker, unfortunately having "consideration for other's feelings", in my honest opinion seems to be a lost virtue or quality of the past. Nowadays lovers are living in the fast lane, and the sad part is that everyone seems to be traveling in the same direction and at the same speed!

    I am, unfortunately, not much with the times, as I consider myself an old-fashioned kind of guy with an open mind; so you just can imagine how out of place sometimes I feel in a world where everyone is out for themselves! although I have learned to take things slow and be very very cautious before I commit to someone, and even then it doesn't garantee that tomorrow my new found "Prince Charming" will leave me so he could continue kissing more frogs, to only later realize they all turned into the "human monster" he only sees and deserves, ending him up in an endless cycle of failed and half relationships. Meanwhile you and I whom he left for someone better in the process will become a better man as we let our Prince Charming go, giving ourselves a chance for someone to appreciate us for what we are, and not what Prince Charming think we should be.


    Leandro ♥
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    Feb 03, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    I would never date anyone over 15. I don't care if that shallow.
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    Feb 03, 2011 5:47 AM GMT
    Well, what did you mean when you said you USED to date him? You told him this after you had stopped dating or while you were dating?

    -Doug
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    Feb 03, 2011 5:56 AM GMT
    You're at an age when shallow is the norm. See you in a couple of decades.