Is being yourself impossible?

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    Feb 03, 2011 12:07 AM GMT
    So I was thinking, lot of people suggest being yourself. I don’t know about everyone else but I’ve always found it kind of difficult to do. Exploring the “self” of another person can take years and even then you may never really know its entirety. It’s just too big. Telling someone to be themselves is like telling someone to give a tour of the country they live in. There will be parts the other person will like, and parts he wont, so it really comes down to which parts you show at what times. The idea of being yourself at once an oversimplification and too complicated because you can only reveal one side of yourself at a time so is a short span of time it awkward. What do you guys think?
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    Feb 03, 2011 12:09 AM GMT
    "Being yourself" means behaving in the way you prefer to behave, rather than putting on a front to appeal to a certain crowd.
    I'm a prime example of this. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 03, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    I can see you are taking this to a deeper level which is the first step of self awareness. Your primary relationships is with yourself isn't it? You need to nurture this relationship and learn to love thyself. You can not change for every Tom Dick and Harry who passes by. The journey you take to be the person you strive to be must be done alone. It is good to have friends and lovers as cheerleaders but in the end only you can get yourself there. When you meet someone and feel you must try to impress them by not being who you truly are you are disrespecting yourself. The best way to understand this is to think of yourself as a parent of your sole. A good parent would never trade their child for someone else's child so why would you try to be or wish that you were someone you are not?
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    Feb 03, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    paulflexes said"Being yourself" means behaving in the way you prefer to behave, rather than putting on a front to appeal to a certain crowd.
    I'm a prime example of this. icon_biggrin.gif


    I'm familiar with your work and I am inclined to say you are correct
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    Feb 03, 2011 12:46 AM GMT
    I'm too busy being myself to worry myself with such matters.
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    Feb 03, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    It's ABSOLUTELY possible. You can read how "myself" I am in my new book, "Musings of a Dysfunctional Life." icon_wink.gif

    http://www.victorrook.com/musings

    Reviews:
    http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/musings-of-a-dysfunctional-life/14691981
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:41 AM GMT
    i find being myself is too dependent on other factors, I can only do it around certain people...
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:45 AM GMT
    dekiruman saidWhat do you guys think?


    i think it's all about not over thinking it, unless of course you identify yourself as someone who over thinks things, but that's not something a buddhist monk who has rid himself of his ego so much so that he's nothing BUT himself would advise you to do...
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:45 AM GMT
    Yeah it's being exactly the way you would if you didn't care at all about what others thought. To really be yourself and shine you need to have self confidence... but everyone is themselves because you can't really do anything that you wouldn't do you know? It's all part of you are.. and stuff like that.
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    Huh? icon_eek.gif

    If you have to explain how to be yourself to someone I guess you're not being yourself. Ha ha. Just don't act or try to be someone you're not.

    For example, maybe you're a super huge Hello Kitty fan but you hide it in front of some people you're not being yourself because that's important to you.
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    Pato_Rico saidi find being myself is too dependent on other factors, I can only do it around certain people...


    Poetry.
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    ...and I'm too busy being delicious!

    judgefudgezh0.jpg
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Feb 03, 2011 1:52 AM GMT
    Wow--this is pretty deep for RJ. I would suggest that our identities are socially defined, which is to say that we define ourselves in reference to other people. (I think it was Aristotle who said that he who lives outside of society must be either a beast or a god.) So who I am depends to some extent on those I choose to have in my life--being self aware means first and foremost being aware of human nature.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Feb 03, 2011 1:55 AM GMT
    I am not so sure but that it is impossible to be yourself. I spend my days looking for work. The application process constantly remnds me that most employers could care less who I am. They just want what they want. Many people around me are unwilling to make allowances for others being themselves. [Oh, you don'tlike my music. Oh, you don't do enough exercise. Oh, you eat that?! Oh, I do it THIS way.] Our society is simply too full of interactions to allow anyone to truly be themselves without compromise,

    PS--friendormate, don't you mean "soul?" See what I mean? Even spelling demands a certain conformity.
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    Feb 03, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    paulflexes said"Being yourself" means behaving in the way you prefer to behave, rather than putting on a front to appeal to a certain crowd.
    I'm a prime example of this. icon_biggrin.gif


    Lol. Yes. You certainly are. I think its awsome so.. please don't stop.
  • xKorix

    Posts: 607

    Feb 03, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    This is something I've noticed about myself and people. We're all generally composed of the same "parts", i.e. a part of us that's kind, a part of us that's mean or wants to hurt, a part that wants to help, a part that doesn't. We're all selfish and selfless. We're all friendly and we're all assholes. I've found judging and criticizing other people is useless because we're all more or less the same. I see others as a mirror for myself, if I don't like something in someone else, it's really something I don't like or something I've been trying to hide or push away within myself. In reality, I'm equal to Jesus yet, no better than Jeffrey Dahmer. I have the same light and dark within myself, we all do. I could've turned out like either, if I had either circumstances. In the end we're all parts of a whole, the same, yet separate and unique.

    Yes, it possible to be yourself. It takes time and to learn you who are, your interests, likes, dislikes, etc. The best thing you can do is to work on awareness of yourself and to connect with yourself, you're feelings, because then you'll learn what's right or wrong for you.
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    Feb 03, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    Wrong.
    Im perfectible myself.
    Your reasoning is bad, see there aren't parts of yourself that you don't like, just the parts of yourself that you think others won't like.
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    Feb 03, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    Trying to be yourself isn't the way to handle the situation. You're yourself when you aren't thinking about how to be yourself. There's no standard for it and there's no one who can tell you you aren't being yourself with any clear evidence. The people who try are called haters. icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 03, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    mnboy saidWrong.
    Im perfectible myself.
    Your reasoning is bad, see there aren't parts of yourself that you don't like, just the parts of yourself that you think others won't like.


    CUTE!
  • Jericophantom...

    Posts: 185

    Feb 03, 2011 7:57 AM GMT
    No one knows you better than yourself like when your on the first date and your really nervous personally for me I get really clumsy so I tell them how I feel and they usually respond very well in fact they've been taken by it

    While its not impossible to be yourself its just something you do in time you can't build a bridge from New York to Europe in a single night it takes time and effort and with a tad of luck all things are possible

    giving yourself away to early isnt worth trying but allowing the other person to see your heart is the best advice I could give just be honest and dont over think it go with your feelings take there hand hold them close or look in the mirror with your fave song playing "I can do this"