Taking off from the Birth Order thread...what's it like to have a gay brother?

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    Mar 31, 2008 3:34 AM GMT
    I see several on the Birth Order thread say they have a gay brother. What's that like?
  • art_smass

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    Mar 31, 2008 3:41 AM GMT
    It's like having a straight brother, only much more fabulous.
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    Mar 31, 2008 3:47 AM GMT
    i wish i had a gay brother...my brother is as straight as they come...

    i get a call from my mom every now and then asking to talk with my brother and controlling how many girls he gets home..and see how lebanon is..thats very unlikely to happen....and hes only freaking 16!

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    Mar 31, 2008 4:04 AM GMT
    i will be shocked if my brother actually turns out straight. I hate for him to go through it all, but im not gonna lie, it would be kinda cool for him to be. Though, it would be weird to have to think about possibly messing around with the same guys.
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    Mar 31, 2008 4:27 AM GMT
    Caslon saidI see several on the Birth Order thread say they have a gay brother. What's that like?


    It's interesting. We both feel very uncomfortable with our chosen friends dating the other brother. That happened only once and won't be doing that again. It didn't cause any tension I just learned way too much private info about my brother via dating this one guy that I didn't ever want to know. Sorta like never wanting to mentally picture your grandparents fucking around.

    There is no competition in regard to dating someone. I don't compete with anyone for any guy period. It's lame. There's another guy just right around the corner. No need to want what someone else wants.

    me being the younger brother my older brother has always had this instinct to protect me. It gets annoying at times but I let it ride. It's his role he can have it. I'll just worry about him in private :-)

    It was great actually. He came out before I did so that road had already been traveled with the family.

    The one thing about being gay in general is the level of honesty you acquire especially after coming out. If you are lucky to share that with a gay brother or sister you really get them and they get you. You don't feel like the odd duck out during family get togethers. Although I have fantasized about being the lone gay one in my family and just forcing myself on all of them while they privately judge me. I think it would drive them freakin nuts! Nothing hotter than bringing home a hot guy and watching the straight women in the family look at their fat balding slobs of straight men and you know they are thinking.. FUCK, in my next life please let me be born a gay man.


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    Mar 31, 2008 5:09 AM GMT
    Things were very different 20 years ago. When my brother told me he was gay, I didn't think anything different about him - he was my only brother. But things changed when he died of AIDS. That was 12 years ago today.

    It was then that I began to understand the gay lifestyle. You see, I was convinced that I was straight, so it was very weird. I had to clean out his apartment in Miami Beach and learned how he lived. The things he had to do to survive on government assistance... I'm not surprised that he needed help.

    But today, things are better for me. Society is more accepting and even though I am not ready to come out to everyone in my life, I can hold hands with my partner without concern for what people think. He didn't have that luxury.

    I miss him terribly and wish that we could have shared the one thing we had in common.
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    Mar 31, 2008 5:36 AM GMT
    Frank_AZ saidThings were very different 20 years ago. When my brother told me he was gay, I didn't think anything different about him - he was my only brother. But things changed when he died of AIDS. That was 12 years ago this week.

    It was then that I began to understand the gay lifestyle. You see, I was convinced that I was straight, so it was very weird. I had to clean out his apartment in Miami Beach and learned how he lived. The things he had to do to survive on government assistance... I'm not surprised that he needed help.

    But today, things are better for me. Society is more accepting and even though I am not ready to come out to everyone in my life, I can hold hands with my partner without concern for what people think. He didn't have that luxury.

    I miss him terribly and wish that we could have shared the one thing we had in common.


    wow that's touching!!! icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 31, 2008 5:45 AM GMT
    I "had" a younger Bro, who's gay. I was not happy at all to run into him many years ago, at a gay bar. A nasty vile queen! I did not find this to be a good thing, to have a gay bro. We had absolutely nothing in common at all, other than both being homosexuals. This did not give us a bond at all.

    I also "had" another bro, whom has lived with one of his old teachers, for the past 25 years. Makes no difference to my life, as I never see them, nor want to!

    Ones youngest bro. Whom is a breeder. I've heard things about him, and never wanted to take this on. For the shit he has given me. I will hang it on him so god dam hard, if ever he comes out, and I am able to! So 4 poofs in one family. The women whom gave birth to us, her hormones like to create, and then spit out homosexual boys.

    So like a forum full of poofs, and bi's. Does not mean a house full off poofs, and a bi, is a recipe for cohesion

    The first legal thing One did when I turned 18, was to divorce my family. So one "had", and does not "have".

    I remember one night working at the bath's, and father and son ran into each other. Wow the fireworks, the drama, from the son.
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    Mar 31, 2008 9:39 AM GMT
    My brother and I did not grow up together and we actually didn't know each other existed until I was 16 (he's 10 years older). He went through the whole denial thing, got married, divorced, married again, divorced, married the first wife a second time, divorced, and married yet again and divorced. He has six daughters and ended up with sole custody of all six (that's a long, complicated story).

    He tripped my gaydar the first time I met him. Eight years later, he called me up and came out to me one night. My response was "It's about time you figured it out." I took him to his first gay bar the next weekend (which was the night we ran into our sister at the bar and discovered she was gay too). Not long after that, he met a wonderful guy and they've been together for 20 years now.

    We talk on the phone and I drop in to see him and his partner (and the girls) when I'm in NC, but because of our age differences, not growing up together, and the very different directions life has taken us, we never spent a lot of time hanging out together. Still, it's cool having a gay brother and knowing he "gets me".
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    Mar 31, 2008 11:06 AM GMT
    My brother and I were polar opposites.. the only commonalities being our parents and us both being gay.
    He had always been the uber-flaming cliche homo.. therefore everybody knew he was gay from way early on
    my parents finally asked him outright when he was 18 and he told them he was.

    His coming out to my parents made a living hell for me..my dad decided to start refering to me as queer since I didn't date.

    I ran into my brother at a local gay bar years later.. the first thing he did was call my parents to out me.
    Needless to say ours was a strained relationship..I neverparticularly cared for him and even less so after the outing

    He died this past christmas from complications from AIDS, it was really pretty sad.. he was alone at home ( he lived in Puerto Rico ) no family or friends around.. he was actually found days after he died by his landlord.

    I'd say I learned from my brother how not to live my life, and you do reap what you sow as far as relationships and friendships go... he burned way too many bridges in his life.
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    Mar 31, 2008 1:20 PM GMT
    Um, my lesbian sister is kinda like the brother I never had. Does that make sense? I love her to pieces and oddly she's like me if I were straight, but with big tits and blonde hair. We're quite alike, from personality, to interests, tastes in clothes and music, it's eerie. I wish she lived closer, or that we could facilitate spending more time together.
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    Mar 31, 2008 3:54 PM GMT
    Having a gay brother turned the family gravity around, meaning 2 of 3 siblings were NOT straight. Together, he and I can claim majority rule. As a result my family is keenly aware of my gay 'POV.' We openly discuss social, political, personal and professional concerns, one on one and in group conversation, including my teenage niece and nephew at the family table. At times I recoil when realizing I have just discussed my love life with my 77-year old Mother... she is definitely a good sport. icon_biggrin.gif

    My gay brother (8 years younger) and I chose very different paths in life yet we are united by a unique bond beyond blood. It's a beautiful thing, indeed.


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    Mar 31, 2008 6:11 PM GMT
    I don't think any of my brothers are gay, but I'm the oldest of 4. Doesn't that give the Birth Order thing a twist?
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    Mar 31, 2008 7:38 PM GMT
    Caslon saidI see several on the Birth Order thread say they have a gay brother. What's that like?


    Like having the gay inquisition knocking at my door when I do something outside the 'norms' of the gay community. If there was an institution for gays who needed to be made even more gay, my brother would definitely send me there.

    On the flip side of that, I've got built in moral support, guidence and friendly credible fashion criticism when I've got new ideas.
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    Mar 31, 2008 7:48 PM GMT
    hottxstud saidi will be shocked if my brother actually turns out straight. I hate for him to go through it all, but im not gonna lie, it would be kinda cool for him to be. Though, it would be weird to have to think about possibly messing around with the same guys.


    No different than str8 brothers and sisters!
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:44 PM GMT
    ustedes son todos dioses chicosssss
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:46 PM GMT
    Oh its great you are all my Gay Brother's!!!
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    Apr 28, 2008 6:24 PM GMT
    A more interesting question in my mind: if you had a gay brother who was gay and hot and you liked each other, would you get it on, notwithstanding any moral proscriptions?

    My brothers are all straight. My answer to the above is 'probably.'
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    Apr 28, 2008 6:41 PM GMT
    Well the whole incest issue is mainly for those who could have kids, so I wouldn't necessarily say it should be a taboo…just a personal preference. Until the past couple of centuries it wasn't unheard of for people to mess around or marry their siblings. But in today's society, you grow up with your siblings and are taught that it's wrong, so there’s a different dynamic between them than friends or random guys you meet when you’re older. I’d say if you two want to, sure, just be comfortable doing it because it can also ruin that bond between the two of you.

    Btw I am an only child so I’m just guessing here…
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Apr 28, 2008 7:31 PM GMT
    Well, I am the gay brother. I'm the only boy in the family.

    I think my sister, Janelle (25), would rather have me be straight. I think it would be easier on her, but she loves me for me.

    Natalie (1icon_cool.gif thinks it is awesome I'm gay. She LOVES it.