The 10th date, is it a relationship?

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    Feb 04, 2011 8:17 PM GMT
    So my question its pretty simple, I've gone in ten dates with this guy In the month I've known him. We've gone from movies to drinks, Dinners and breakfast. Its been pretty great. I've started to think of it as a relationship a little while ago and treated it as such, still when guys ask me I cant honestly tell them I am.

    Dont get me wrong, Im asking him tonight if he wants to be exclusive or what, its the simplest way to know icon_razz.gif but I just wanted to know, is there a point where the relationship is implicit? We've done summer plans but I still feel I could either get a "Duh! We are" or an "I like you but would like to keep things open" please share your memoirs
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    Feb 04, 2011 8:24 PM GMT
    After several successful dates, the next decisive point has been a month and a half of actively seeing each other.
    Wishing you good luck and success!
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    Feb 04, 2011 8:39 PM GMT
    No, its not a relationship until you TALK about it being a relationship...
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    Feb 04, 2011 10:43 PM GMT
    mnboy saidNo, its not a relationship until you TALK about it being a relationship...
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    Feb 04, 2011 11:22 PM GMT
    why put label on things...just let it be n you will know if you guys are or not...
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    Feb 04, 2011 11:45 PM GMT
    I don't think there's a point where it's implicit. You just have to bring it up.

    I think though that if the guy has gone on 10 dates with you already, there's a good chance that asking him to be exclusive won't be a huge deal. I've asked the guy that I'm with now after 3 dates.
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    Feb 04, 2011 11:50 PM GMT
    It can be a relationship without being exclusive. The terms are not interchangeable.

    If you want to be exclusive you need to talk about it. Implicit exclusivity does not exist.
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    Feb 05, 2011 5:45 AM GMT
    Ermine saidIt can be a relationship without being exclusive. The terms are not interchangeable.

    If you want to be exclusive you need to talk about it. Implicit exclusivity does not exist.


    yeah you are quite right and believe me I was willing to do the open relationship, I just wanted to know where I stand.

    Fortunatly he said yes and yes, So I have my first oficial BF icon_biggrin.gif

    thanks for all your replies icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 05, 2011 8:48 AM GMT
    Congrats!
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    Feb 05, 2011 12:37 PM GMT
    1st: Congratulations.

    2nd: Nothing is ever implied and another mans definition of anything may be different than yours...Always. Always. Always. Communicate!
    Never. Never. Never, Assume!
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Feb 05, 2011 3:25 PM GMT
    Writrboi saidSo my question its pretty simple, I've gone in ten dates with this guy In the month I've known him. We've gone from movies to drinks, Dinners and breakfast. Its been pretty great. I've started to think of it as a relationship a little while ago and treated it as such, still when guys ask me I cant honestly tell them I am.

    Dont get me wrong, Im asking him tonight if he wants to be exclusive or what, its the simplest way to know icon_razz.gif but I just wanted to know, is there a point where the relationship is implicit? We've done summer plans but I still feel I could either get a "Duh! We are" or an "I like you but would like to keep things open" please share your memoirs
    it is not a relationship until you have established it as one. which means you need ask if that is what you want. i wish you luck and hope the guy feels the same as you do
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    Feb 05, 2011 3:32 PM GMT
    Has he slept over yet?
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    Feb 05, 2011 7:34 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidHas he slept over yet?


    Why would that make a diference?
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    Feb 05, 2011 7:50 PM GMT
    No, this is a guy who you have hung out with or had sex with 10 times. It's a relationship when the two of you agree it is.

    You are going to be sadly disappointed if you start thinking of it as one without agreement from him and you find out he is fucking around with other guys.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Feb 05, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    Dude....It's not a relationship....You went out ten times.....My feeling is if you bring up the idea of exclusive dating...He'll run....it's too soon....Take a deep breath...find out more about him.....Try a little distance...you don't want him to think your too available.....Time is the key.....BUD
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    Feb 05, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    It's not a relationship until it's Facebook official. icon_surprised.gif