What was the earliest memory of being "Special"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2011 5:59 PM GMT
    So I was reading this blog about your first memory of being gay, what is your memory and how old?

    For me it was when my German grandmother brought back a pair of speedo's from a recent trip to Deutchland, I loved them and wore them all the time at the Colorado river when I was around 8ish. I also loved to dress nice as a kid and never wanted to get get dirty or play rough.

    Now I don't wear speedo's, I like to get dirty and rough house more.

    You??
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    Feb 06, 2011 6:06 PM GMT
    Not sure if it is a true memory or not, but...
    The next door neighbor boy and I played (camp-out) under the porch of our house. I stayed up, watching him sleep, thinking how beautiful he was--I can still see his face. I couldn't have been older than six.
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    Feb 06, 2011 6:10 PM GMT
    My friends were hanging out with one of the older boys in the neighborhood and this older boy just whipped his dick out, apparently, and peed in front of them. Nothing creepy, just had to pee.. My friends came back to me and said "We saw John Michael's thing!" and I said.. "Can he.. can he do it again?". This was kindergarten.
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    Feb 06, 2011 6:14 PM GMT
    I was about 12, on a Sunday ride with my parents, and it came to me, rather sadly, that I would never have a wife and children and be like my uncles and aunts and their kids. I would never have their lives, mostly small towns, extended families, quiet "normal" lives. I had no concept of any other kind of life then, so it was pretty depressing. I would always have much to keep to myself and have many secrets. This was back in the 1950's, and being "homosexual" in those years was a rough existence, at least from the little I knew about it.
    Things have changed a lot!
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    Feb 06, 2011 6:17 PM GMT
    I was watching this movie in the theatre with my brother and my father. And I remember feeling things "weird" feeling about the lead actor. I didn't know exactly what it was so I just assumed I admired him as a hero or idolized how cool he was. But I knew it was something else. But now I realize that in that big, dark theatre I had my first crush. I was about 8 years old.
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Feb 06, 2011 6:19 PM GMT
    7th grade PE, in the locker room and in the showers. forrest and david were my two best buds and they both had body hair before most of the class did.
    i remember feeling a slight tingle every time i saw both of them naked and soaped up in the shower. whenever forrest would touch me, i would always melt. so i think it was around 13 that i knew that i was different.
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    Feb 06, 2011 6:22 PM GMT
    When I was in first grade I was looking through a dictionary (just waisting time) and I saw a picture of michelangelos david and got hardicon_redface.gif I was six
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 06, 2011 6:27 PM GMT
    3rd grade when I had a crush on a guy 3 years older than me.
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Feb 06, 2011 6:29 PM GMT
    I popped a boner in 7th grade when I saw Ryan Phillippe naked in Cruel Intentions
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 06, 2011 6:30 PM GMT
    For me, it had nothing to do with looking at another guy... it was about my sensitivity. I was always a sensitive kid and I realized I saw things differently than some of my friends. I didn't think of it as being an issue, I saw it as something I had that others lacked.

    Interesting, some of that vanished. Maybe it was law school. Now I can be kind of insensitive at times, but mostly where it is prudent to be that way.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 06, 2011 6:48 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI knew I was a flute player in fifth grade and I thought all boys and girls had a penis when I was around six or seven.

    What a heavily ingrained homosexual I was....


    And still am!


    Indeed....LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2011 6:50 PM GMT
    In nursery school, I used to chase around a set of twins.
    And wanted to play Candy Land with the girls.

    In kindergarten I remember thinking that Ricky looked nice.

    In first grade, Jon liked playing with my ears and that was cool.

    First day of class in 4th grade, at a new school, I noticed Ami, with his beautiful eyes.
    Lucky me, the teacher assigned him to show me around.
    Kids also changed into gym shorts for gym class and I got to see what undies they wore.

    Either the summer before or after, at camp dressing rooms, I remember seeing pubes on some older children (just like dad has). I think it was my first clue that the world wasn't static, with kids always being kids - that I would one day grow up (obviously I was wrong).

    In 6th grade, Jamie was caught with male porn in his desk. I wasn't really sure what porn was, but wanted to see it. Jamie also, for no reason I could see, gave me a candy bar. A dozen years later, Jamie's older sister would encourage my ex to pursue me before I was out because I was cool about it when she told me that Jamie, who I hadn't seen in years, was gay.

    In 7th grade my school had a pool and showers. I don't remember any great crushes that year, but everyone was cut except for one Asian guy. I concluded that Asians have weird dicks. (Um, not that I was looking. Or was I?)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2011 6:53 PM GMT
    Hmm, first time messing with another boy around 2nd grade... wrote it off as experimenting.

    Checking out a girl's private parts (and her mine) around age 10... they just weirded me out. As if they had something to hide. Boys just had it all out in the open.

    Also at age 10, masturbating a neighborhood boy in my bedroom...

    By age 11 I knew I was gay.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Feb 06, 2011 7:06 PM GMT
    My first memory of being gay was my attraction to the hot catalog underwear model who was wearing bikini briefs in different colors. It was a monumental change from the plain looking models wearing plain, always white, undies that never showed any sort of bulge what so ever.

    As a kid, I hated to get dirty.
    And, I loved being in the kitchen cooking with my grandmother.

    In school, I always sat with the girls and loved making them laugh.

    I was a member of the library club. LOL.
    I hated sports.

    Now, it seems odd, but I never felt an attraction to other guys until I was in college.

    And, my first sex with another guy wasn't until age 25, because the opportunity just never came along until then.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2011 7:10 PM GMT
    My brother was a member of the high school varsity swimming team, and every Friday after I played soccer, the swimming team allowed me to swim in one of the lanes while they trained. I was 9 that time.

    And not being dramatic or whatever, but I remember the first time I saw Jeff, (my bro's friend and captain of the swim team) walk by me in speedos- I literally stopped in the middle of the pool and watched him walk from the shower room to the pool...

    Oh lord, this is what an all-boys Catholic school education does to you...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2011 7:16 PM GMT
    Saturday afternoon Tarzan movies. I think I wanted to mud wrestle with Tarzan and boy. BTW, I exchanged emails with a 72 yo Johnny Sheffield (boy) and he sent me autographed pictures. Note: Just found out Johnny passed away Oct. 2010 of a heart attack. He was 79.

    cheetathechimp-420x0.jpg

    Johnny Sheffield as boy:
    bantu.jpg
  • chameleon

    Posts: 126

    Feb 06, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    I remember always being a bit different from the other boys at school.
    I preferred to read over playing sports.
    I walked quietly in the woods, where other boys left a path of destruction
    I could hang out for hours with girls and have a great time, but was always uncomfortable around other boys.
    I had an appreciation for art and "girly" things all my life.
    Made it difficult growing up in a small, isolated rural community
    Ironically, now that i live in a larger city, I am told that am more manly than a lot of the straight guys i work with. Go figure
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2011 7:48 PM GMT
    i was too young to know until i was too old to care.....................Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Feb 06, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    I can't put any date or event on when I knew other than I always knew from the get go I liked boys,,, at least as far back as or more than kindergarten.
  • hotinsuburbia

    Posts: 11

    Feb 06, 2011 8:22 PM GMT


    Those images of Mark Spitz around the 1972 Olympics -- what a hot body, at the time . . . and a porn star mustache to boot . . .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2011 9:10 PM GMT
    I didnt know I was gay till I was basically in 6th grade. I had no idea what the word meant and just used it to call other people gay with my friends to laugh around. After, I searched up the word and found out what it meant it changed my life! Literally! Also since I had a huge crush on my 6th grade math teacher! He was so hot and I was his favorite student!icon_redface.gif
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    Feb 06, 2011 9:15 PM GMT

    At age five, I had a crush on the Jolly Green Giant. Not the doughy lump that you see on veggie cans nowdays--in the 50s, he looked like a body builder on steroids and he had a large green Bulge! There was an empty can out in the garage that my Dad used for nails or something and I was always out there fantasizing. . . icon_redface.gif
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    Feb 06, 2011 9:59 PM GMT
    When I was 5 or 6 I'd see a neighbor teen shirtless in his yard..and it just made me so...angry. lol@displaced emotions.
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    Feb 06, 2011 10:10 PM GMT
    Didn't realize till years later....but I wanted to be...reeeally wanted to be...friends with The Hardy Boys when I was 7. Especially Shaun Cassidy. (now...not so much)
    icon_cool.gif
  • mke_bt

    Posts: 707

    Feb 06, 2011 10:33 PM GMT
    When I was in kindergarten I would chase Stuart A. around the playground and kiss him.
    I think I coined the phrase
    "playdate rape".