Do you think the majority of gay guys are afraid to step out of the box?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2011 11:24 PM GMT
    I'm amazed at the amount of gorgeous guys on this site alone that have never had a bf or any type of relationship and I am put to wondering why.

    In my limited experience, I have found in general terms that many gay guys are hip to advertise the wares, but leary to actually drive the product when push comes to shove...in lay terms: putting up or shutting up.

    So why do you think there is such a large collection of unfulfilled guys? too choosy? too afraid? fraudsters?neuroses?.....

    Now i know in some ways this has been touched on before, but i have never seen the topic address head on without it deterioratiing off topic....

    So..........some on topic input gentleman.......cause I wanna know why so many are in the showroom and so few on the road..............Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Feb 07, 2011 12:45 AM GMT
    Probably a mix of everything you mentioned + bad luck + bad timing + not enough patience.
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    Feb 07, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    I put forth that most the monogamously coupled men wouldn't be on this site; thinking it is a hybrid of a dating/hook-up site and judging by the number of men that join and never participate, plus the number of cam request I get, I can see why they may think that; hence only single guys.
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    Feb 07, 2011 1:23 AM GMT
    stilsurchin saidSo..........some on topic input gentleman.......cause I wanna know why so many are in the showroom and so few on the road..............Keithicon_wink.gif

    Well, first off, I dunno. I spent very little time in the "showroom" when I first came out. I quickly tried to arrange for a "test drive," and 3 weeks after I came out, I was breaking the speed limit! LOL!

    And I was never a "gorgeous" guy as you write about. I wasn't ever even terribly good looking, mediocre at best. But what I did have was drive, confidence, and a fierce mission/goal focus from my military days.

    The task I assigned myself was to meet guys and date them. So I met guys and dated them. How the fuck I managed that as a short little guy past his prime I couldn't tell you. Except that I wanted it, I strategized for it, like I do everything I seek badly enough, and I got it.

    So if these "gorgeous" guys in your model aren't getting it, while old and unattractive me did, I'm tempted to conclude that they're not motivated enough. Perhaps another theory might serve better, about their insecurity, personal issues, blah, blah, blah. But if you want it enough, and can focus yourself, you can overcome and bypass those things, and are much more likely to get it. That and most anything else you want in life.
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    stilsurchin saidSo why do you think there is such a large collection of unfulfilled guys? too choosy? too afraid? fraudsters?neuroses?.....
    Lack of motivation.
    I'm single because I want to be.
    If I didn't want to be, I go find someone...it's not like I don't get regular offers. icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    I spend too much time going after straight men. icon_confused.gif
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    Are you suggesting that not being in a relationship is inferior to being in one?
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidAre you suggesting that not being in a relationship is inferior to being in one?

    There are many who think so. Just consider the numberless threads whining about why-can't-I-find-a-boyfriend.
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:22 AM GMT
    They get scared off when they go get a fudgecicle out of the freezer and find all those frozen body parts from previous unsuitable suitors icon_neutral.gif
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidThey get scared off when they go get a fudgecicle out of the freezer and find all those frozen body parts from previous unsuitable suitors icon_neutral.gif
    Well where else should I put them? They stink when I put them in the basement.
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:42 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Ariodante saidThey get scared off when they go get a fudgecicle out of the freezer and find all those frozen body parts from previous unsuitable suitors icon_neutral.gif
    Well where else should I put them? They stink when I put them in the basement.



    Unfortunately, your basement was for mnboy (RIP, and God rest his tortured soul)......


    icon_eek.gif

    HE SHALL BE AVENGED! icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    _SAGE_ said
    paulflexes said
    Ariodante saidThey get scared off when they go get a fudgecicle out of the freezer and find all those frozen body parts from previous unsuitable suitors icon_neutral.gif
    Well where else should I put them? They stink when I put them in the basement.



    Unfortunately, your basement was for mnboy (RIP, and God rest his tortured soul)......
    Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me. I totally forgot about him over the past few weeks.
    Maybe I should go feed him or something. icon_twisted.gif
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidOh yeah, thanks for reminding me. I totally forgot about him over the past few weeks.
    Maybe I should go feed him or something. icon_twisted.gif


    don't do it after midnight
    gremlins2.JPG
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    paulflexes saidOh yeah, thanks for reminding me. I totally forgot about him over the past few weeks.
    Maybe I should go feed him or something. icon_twisted.gif


    don't do it after midnight
    gremlins2.JPG
    After midnight is my favorite time to go down there...because...

    Scary_Cat_by_Margo_K.jpg
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:56 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Ariodante said
    paulflexes saidOh yeah, thanks for reminding me. I totally forgot about him over the past few weeks.
    Maybe I should go feed him or something. icon_twisted.gif


    don't do it after midnight
    gremlins2.JPG
    After midnight is my favorite time to go down there...because...

    Scary_Cat_by_Margo_K.jpg



    I'm totally imaging the soundtrack to the movie of this soon-to-be urban legendary atrocity:



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    The gay dating scene is summed up this way: A rejects B for not being as hot as C who rejects A for not being as hot as D who rejects A, B, and C for not being as hot as E. E goes home alone because there's no F.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    _SAGE_ said

    I'm totally imaging the soundtrack to the movie of this soon-to-be urban legendary atrocity:





    I know it's the tropical feel of the ukelele, but all I can think of while listening to this is

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    Define unfulfilled? Do you mean as in why are most gay men single?
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:16 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    _SAGE_ said

    I'm totally imaging the soundtrack to the movie of this soon-to-be urban legendary atrocity:





    I know it's the tropical feel of the ukelele, but all I can think of while listening to this is




    Your mind works in weird and esoteric ways... And ermm....Yh................I kinda dig it...


    That's all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:25 AM GMT
    It's a factor of everything you mentioned, plus a lot of guys are really shy. Especially around someone they're interested in. Then there's unrealistic expectations of an ideal boyfriend (dare I say shallow expectations). Most people are average, but no one wants "average".icon_rolleyes.gif

    Plus, being in the closet and being shy will most likely make you single and a bit lonely. Going after straight guys ensures being single. Whether or not most gay guys are in the closet... I don't know but I have a feeling the majority are unfortunately and a lot are unhealthily obsessed with "straight" guys.

    I wonder why a lot of guys on this site are single when they seem like they would be snatched up in a heartbeat.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Feb 07, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    Different reasons for different folks. Many, including myself, are not willing to settle for "good enough." Many are not looking for a relationship, either because they don't want to commit or they enjoy playing the game.. And many are relationship challenged (i.e. don't have the skill sets to make something last for the long term).
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Feb 07, 2011 3:27 AM GMT
    bhp91126 saidProbably a mix of everything you mentioned + bad luck + bad timing + not enough patience.


    There also aren't a lot of gay guys.
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Feb 07, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidThey get scared off when they go get a fudgecicle out of the freezer and find all those frozen body parts from previous unsuitable suitors icon_neutral.gif


    And when they see this, how far do they get whilst running before you reach them with the ax?
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    Feb 07, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    TheIStrat said
    Ariodante saidThey get scared off when they go get a fudgecicle out of the freezer and find all those frozen body parts from previous unsuitable suitors icon_neutral.gif


    And when they see this, how far do they get whilst running before you reach them with the ax?


    By the time they pull open the freezer door the cocktail of muscle paralyzers I slipped into their Hi-C is already kicking in =)
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    Feb 07, 2011 4:30 AM GMT
    like I mentioned in my op, all the other threads got sidetracked.....something like what is happening to this one...

    to answer one poster's question...unfulfilled....def is un full filled...not satisfied, not filled.......i'm not talking about the Pauls of the world that are quite content with the single life..........

    I am asking about those that seem to be a great catch, want the hook but are single...................???.............Keith