Am I unpopular here? Should I leave RJ? Or is my imagination overworking?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 12:54 AM GMT
    The above title was the result of what seemed that many of my more recent posts on the forums were ignored, or not quoted. I have no idea if the "Ignore His Posts" prompt have been activated a little or a lot. And lately, most of my OPs tend to have very short threads, maybe the main reason I had not posted OPs for a long time compared to some who do this frequently.

    Of course, there are a growing number of newer members - 20 are shown every week - who do not know me at all. But this poster is addressed to those who knew me from November 2008, when I rejoined this site after deleting a previous profile.

    It is true that I have a wife and children - my user-name "NotThatOld" was dreamt up after the birth of my youngest daughter Victoria, not long before I joined RJ, when I was 55 years old. An unusual age, I must admit, for one to father a child, but not biologically rare. But the truth is that I DO find men attractive - and this may surprise you, but I was close to jacking off when I browsed the recent thread about cuddling and spooning - and that thread is still "alive" while I'm writing this.

    I know that we had our differences. I advocated my Christian faith and my belief in Creationism - and it baffled me why so many of you found this offensive - until Doug of Meninlove revealed that many Gay men had religion delivered in a punitive spirit during childhood, which makes the church appear extremely critical and judgemental towards homosexuals (and straight partners who co-inhabit outside of marriage) and such an institution to be avoided like the plague.

    It is interesting that today's sermon at church was just about that, criticising Gay people and all other unbelievers - and this was condemned by Jesus himself. Doug was right. It is not up to us to judge or criticise unbelievers. Paul the apostle actually said that it was none of our business to do so.

    As a result within the last few months I have refrained from posting anything to do directly with the faith.

    Also physically speaking, I'm very much aware that I would not be classed as "hot" - although 30 or even 20 years ago I most likely would have been. Although I don't expect these days to be hotlisted, for my own health's sake I have taken great pains to lose weight which had reached a critical stage by March, 2009. By watching what I eat, gym workouts as well as running, I have lost around five stone, give or take, a by-no-means a small feat.

    Now it looks to me that I have been pushed into a corner by members of the website. Am I that disliked? Should I go and leave real Jock?

    I am NOT looking for sympathy. It's the last thing I need.
    What I'm looking for is honest opinions.

    Over to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 1:26 AM GMT
    NotThatOld saidThe above title was the result of what seemed that many of my more recent posts on the forums were ignored, or not quoted. I have no idea if the "Ignore His Posts" prompt have been activated a little or a lot. And lately, most of my OPs tend to have very short threads, maybe the main reason I had not posted OPs for a long time compared to some who do this frequently.

    Of course, there are a growing number of newer members - 20 are shown every week - who do not know me at all. But this poster is addressed to those who knew me from November 2008, when I rejoined this site after deleting a previous profile.

    It is true that I have a wife and children - my user-name "NotThatOld" was dreamt up after the birth of my youngest daughter Victoria, not long before I joined RJ, when I was 55 years old. An unusual age, I must admit, for one to father a child, but not biologically rare. But the truth is that I DO find men attractive - and this may surprise you, but I was close to jacking off when I browsed the recent thread about cuddling and spooning - and that thread is still "alive" while I'm writing this.

    I know that we had our differences. I advocated my Christian faith and my belief in Creationism - and it baffled me why so many of you found this offensive - until Doug of Meninlove revealed that many Gay men had religion delivered in a punitive spirit during childhood, which makes the church appear extremely critical and judgemental towards homosexuals (and straight partners who co-inhabit outside of marriage) and such an institution to be avoided like the plague.

    It is interesting that today's sermon at church was just about that, criticising Gay people and all other unbelievers - and this was condemned by Jesus himself. Doug was right. It is not up to us to judge or criticise unbelievers. Paul the apostle actually said that it was none of our business to do so.

    As a result within the last few months I have refrained from posting anything to do directly with the faith.

    Also physically speaking, I'm very much aware that I would not be classed as "hot" - although 30 or even 20 years ago I most likely would have been. Although I don't expect these days to be hotlisted, for my own health's sake I have taken great pains to lose weight which had reached a critical stage by March, 2009. By watching what I eat, gym workouts as well as running, I have lost around five stone, give or take, a by-no-means a small feat.

    Now it looks to me that I have been pushed into a corner by members of the website. Am I that disliked? Should I go and leave real Jock?

    I am NOT looking for sympathy. It's the last thing I need.
    What I'm looking for is honest opinions.

    Over to you.


    This is me scratching my head
    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 1:27 AM GMT
    I don't think we've crossed paths before so I can respond to the thread question without any opinions one way or the other.

    I think it is often hit or miss if a thread becomes popular. Sure there are some members whose threads are more likely to be posted to because they are well known in a positive or negative way. But most likely it is the subject, not the thread originator, that determines the activity. Even if a subject might be popular, the thread getting activity can still be a hit or miss situation. If guys who would be interested don't happen to see the thread soon, it will get buried, especially in this folder.

    My suggestion is to focus on participating in forums, regardless of whether you started the thread or not. I think most of the threads anyone would participate in would normally be originated by someone else. If you were to find few of those interesting, and motivated mostly to start your own threads, that might be an indication that your interests and the interests of many others do not coincide. In the threads that others start, are your posts consistent with the thread topic versus going off a side track? Just like any forum or real life get together, if you are interesting and have interesting things to say, people will read and respond.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    Do not under any circumstances think or feel that your voice is not welcome here. Your contribution/opinion is vital to the diversity of any thread.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 1:45 AM GMT
    icon_smile.gifmany like to read the threads rather than replying it ...lol
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 07, 2011 1:52 AM GMT
    Be aware, you are certainly welcome here. I think diversity is important and we can all learn from others opinions (so long as one keeps an open mind). I think those that are unwelcome are those who attack others.... and we really have very few of those.

    I think it was addressed above, but whether a thread is popular or not is really a "roll of the dice". I've had some that have been remarkably popular and show up again well after the fact..... just had one from 2008 this past week. I've also had what I perceived to be "duds".. the reality is, there are just some things that don't bring about a lot of expressed opinions.

    Keep right on..... I look forward to reading more!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 1:52 AM GMT
    Hillie saidDo not under any circumstances think or feel that your voice is not welcome here. Your contribution/opinion is vital to the diversity of any thread.

    Yes
    It's the diversity of opinions that make this site great; the flame wars, not only epic, but also informative, anything else would be boring.
    Your post have been informative, made with intelligences, and capture a part of life I wouldn't understand otherwise.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 1:54 AM GMT
    Say what you wanna say.
    Do what you wanna do.
    Be what you wanna be.
    Believe what you wanna believe.
    Live how you wanna live.
    Some people will agree with you.
    Some people will disagree with you.
    Some people will hate you.
    That last group of people can go fuck themselves. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 1:54 AM GMT
    I would take any of your responses over certain other people whose threads get a lot more responses due to their deliberately inflammatory content...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:10 AM GMT
    Just when I'm feeling truly invisible on this site, when my posts generate few responses and my profile even fewer views, I'll get a message from someone saying how I changed their life, which is a hell of a lot more validating than being MOTD can ever be. Don't let your life be determined or your voice be quieted by conventional measures of popularity - your presence and time on this earth touch more people than you'll ever know.
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Feb 07, 2011 3:13 AM GMT
    Well, I think there is a clique mentality amongst some posters, but who cares if people respond to your posts or not.

    Use the threads for whatever you choose to use them for.

    I'm losing the feeling in the fingers on both of my hands, and have some real problems to worry about. If people don't like me on here, or don't respond to my posts, it's kinda a small thing to worry about, y'know?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    dont get caught up in these things. not everyone gets replies when the post. not everyone gets quoted. if i kept track of this stuff and saw the results i would probably want to kill myself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidJust when I'm feeling truly invisible on this site, when my posts generate few responses and my profile even fewer views, I'll get a message from someone saying how I changed their life, which is a hell of a lot more validating than being MOTD can ever be. Don't let your life be determined or your voice be quieted by conventional measures of popularity - your presence and time on this earth touch more people than you'll ever know.



    Very true! it is a lot more valuable to touch one life because of your presence and heartfelt advice, than being liked by hundreds of strangers you probably will never meet nor care to help you at your time of need.


    Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:31 AM GMT
    If it makes you feel any better, I usually kill threads. Many times when I post the thread dies icon_sad.gif So I apologize for more than likely killing this thread!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:31 AM GMT
    I say leave if it feels like you aren't getting what you want out of this site. If you came here to be noticed and to be popular then leave. That's not what this site is about. Sure it seems clickish but that's not what it's about. This is a cry for attention and you are too old to be doing that. It sounds like you do want sympathy with this post and to say you don't seems a bit childish and is a cry of denial on your part. I don't entertain weakness.

    If you were unliked or felt indifferent then I guarantee you people would not have bothered responding. Not on anyone's list or even thought of to be MOTD? Who cares. They are just incentives and nice ways to be noticed bit they aren't necesaary. The real prize on this site is how you feel about working out and getting the best out of the tips this site offers so I stand by my "mean comment" as I'm sure people will view it as such (I don't really care) and I say leave.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 07, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    I think to be an active member of this site you need to have a very thick skin. I will go years without having an argument or hostile exchange with someone in real life, but on this website where people can hide and their pics might not even be theirs it's just an every day occurrence. On the whole most guys here are decent, so I try.

    But if you're here just looking for what you can GET out of it, then if you left I don't think many folks would notice. Being here has a lot to do with give and take.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:48 AM GMT
    NotThatOld saidThe above title was the result of what seemed that many of my more recent posts on the forums were ignored, or not quoted. I have no idea if the "Ignore His Posts" prompt have been activated a little or a lot. And lately, most of my OPs tend to have very short threads, maybe the main reason I had not posted OPs for a long time compared to some who do this frequently.

    Of course, there are a growing number of newer members - 20 are shown every week - who do not know me at all. But this poster is addressed to those who knew me from November 2008, when I rejoined this site after deleting a previous profile.

    It is true that I have a wife and children - my user-name "NotThatOld" was dreamt up after the birth of my youngest daughter Victoria, not long before I joined RJ, when I was 55 years old. An unusual age, I must admit, for one to father a child, but not biologically rare. But the truth is that I DO find men attractive - and this may surprise you, but I was close to jacking off when I browsed the recent thread about cuddling and spooning - and that thread is still "alive" while I'm writing this.

    I know that we had our differences. I advocated my Christian faith and my belief in Creationism - and it baffled me why so many of you found this offensive - until Doug of Meninlove revealed that many Gay men had religion delivered in a punitive spirit during childhood, which makes the church appear extremely critical and judgemental towards homosexuals (and straight partners who co-inhabit outside of marriage) and such an institution to be avoided like the plague.

    It is interesting that today's sermon at church was just about that, criticising Gay people and all other unbelievers - and this was condemned by Jesus himself. Doug was right. It is not up to us to judge or criticise unbelievers. Paul the apostle actually said that it was none of our business to do so.

    As a result within the last few months I have refrained from posting anything to do directly with the faith.

    Also physically speaking, I'm very much aware that I would not be classed as "hot" - although 30 or even 20 years ago I most likely would have been. Although I don't expect these days to be hotlisted, for my own health's sake I have taken great pains to lose weight which had reached a critical stage by March, 2009. By watching what I eat, gym workouts as well as running, I have lost around five stone, give or take, a by-no-means a small feat.

    Now it looks to me that I have been pushed into a corner by members of the website. Am I that disliked? Should I go and leave real Jock?

    I am NOT looking for sympathy. It's the last thing I need.
    What I'm looking for is honest opinions.

    Over to you.


    You're conflicted, and looking for sympathy / validation.

    Truth is that false systems are what they are: false.

    Take time to study the world around you. Learn some science.

    In particular, study up on conformance theory.

    It sounds like you're rambling, but, whatever is going on, understand, truth is truth. Garbage is garbage. From here, it sounds like you have WAY, WAY, too much garbage going on in your views / life.

    Once you understand how conformance theory works, and have a better basis in science, you'll be able to walk away from false belief systems and engage in clearer thinking. As you educate yourself more, you'll, hopefully, come to engage in critical thinking on some of this stuff.

    Understand, more educated folks will be more likely to view The World in a way that is more logical / involves critical thinking, and has evidence behind it, than false belief systems. Religion / cults / superstition preys upon ignorant folks. When you speak of false belief systems, you really show your ignorance, although, it's one of those things folks won't get after you about a lot of the time.

    If you're wanting to talk about false belief systems, a jock site, with educated folks, may not be your best choice.

    In illiterate populations, you see more false beliefs systems (they simply don't know any better).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    How many times have you been told that ${deity} is real, despite it making zero sense? My view is fully supported by science.

    Study conformance theory, like false belief systems, the GOP, etc., just because you say something doesn't make it true.

    A good place to start is a program called "How The Universe Works."
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Feb 07, 2011 4:37 AM GMT
    I've started many posts. Never saw them again. I'm wonding the same thing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    Most of the crap I write here doesn't even got a comment, nor do I think many guys even read it. And plenty have me blocked.

    I just enjoy composing stuff, my pleasure in the writing, not in the responses. If you want affirmation, get a private pen pal. You will rarely find it online, here or most anywhere.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 4:44 AM GMT
    Same old song and dance from you chucky. Never, save the once in a blue moon workout thread, have I EVER seen you post something of a positive, contributory stance. In fact, it is always something of the same ole tired, repetitive dribble. Impress me with something original and stay on topic.

    As to the OP: The choice is yours and I can tell you that anything worth doing requires so effort and it will include ebbs and flows. Think about who you are and what you contribute as well as what you take away in your experience here. As others have said, diversity in thought is key to growth. While the site is mainly about physical growth, none of us could say we haven't gotten some personal growth out of it as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    Firstly, this site is full of ALOT of great people. They don't usually come at you all at once, but with time, you'll find them, so sit tight. As for your feeling on unwelcomeness, well, most of the threads I start go unnoticed. Its not a personal thing, its just that some topics are interesting for people and others are not. Its a free country and we all have the right to free speech. You're welcome to voice your opinions here but realize that people also have the right to be offended. I personally have nothing against you and I don't think that the people on here dislike you. You're over thinking the situation and giving it more weight than in deserves. In the end, this is a social website. You're gonna have to take most criticisms and complements with a grain of salt.
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    Feb 07, 2011 5:02 AM GMT
    I second that motion!!

    I rarely see any responses to my forum posts. No big deal. I know you all love me. Or not. Whatever.

    I do think it would be an improvement if the forums had more reasonable discussions and fewer pissing contests.




    ErikTaurean saidSame old song and dance from you chucky. Never, save the once in a blue moon workout thread, have I EVER seen you post something of a positive, contributory stance. In fact, it is always something of the same ole tired, repetitive dribble. Impress me with some original and stay on topic.

    As to the OP: The choice is yours and I can tell you that anything worth doing requires so effort and it will include ebbs and flows. Think about who you are and what you contribute as well as what you take away in your experience here. As others have said, diversity in thought is key to growth. While the site is mainly about physical growth, none of us could say we haven't gotten some personal growth out of it as well.
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Feb 07, 2011 5:07 AM GMT
    I think the most important thing to remember is that this is the internet, not the real word. If you are beginning to think that this is reality, then it's time to turn off the computer and spend some time with your dog, friends ,or kids (if you have them). If you do not have real live friends, go get some. Personally, I view this site as an opportunity to exchange information and identify like minded people whom I might even meet someday. It is entertainment--it's time to put it down when it stops being fun.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 5:10 AM GMT
    Hey NotThatOld. I have never put you on ignore. I can't see myself doing that.

    I hold you in a rather high regard. You listen. You consider. You have a kind streak. How can someone not like that? We share Someone very dear to our hearts, you and I.

    Personally, I think you have a lot of depth and I would be a little horrified if you left.

    So don't!

    -Doug