Gay cruising at a gym in a conservative area?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 7:03 AM GMT
    I live in the Bible Belt but thankfully in the most liberal part, close to Hunstville, and was wondering how safe it would be to look for guys at my gym. My gym doesn't seem to have a big gay scene, partly because of where it is, but it doesn't really seem anti gay either. I found one of the trainers (he is HOT!) old myspaces and it said he was bi (mind you there was a comment left accusing the guy of faking the profile, who knows!).

    What I want to know is how safe it would be to sort of cruise for guys. I do get this feeling of tension sometimes when I am there, like homoerotic tension but can't be certain of anything yet. My bet is that all gyms are cruising areas, even the ones in conservative areas. What does everyone else here think?
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:41 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidAbsolutely don't do it.

    The sexual tension you feel is coming from you...you might want to even 'release' the pressure *before* you go to the gym so you can ween yourself off of wanting to cruise your gym in your area. It's not even a cool thing to do in a gym with a high gay clientiele; I can't imagine it would wise in your area.

    And think of the consequences. Are you ready to walk around town with the equivelent of a scarlet letter as people point at you, the creepy fag from the gym? 'Cos while you're "cruising" one guy, there are a dozen other guys and girls who are looking around the room and one of them is gonna figure you out.

    There has been a ton of threads on this topic...search the forums for more info. And please consider searching profiles on RJ for your area; craigslist; adam4adam; or a hundred other internet options before you "expose" yourself publicly in the biblebelt.

    Best wishes, man.

    EDIT: just remembered this active thread: http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1370583


    Wise counsel
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    Feb 07, 2011 2:55 PM GMT
    jlenoconel saidWhat does everyone else here think?

    We can't answer that question here (and I lived in Alabama for nearly 3 years). It isn't merely about the "Belt" but also about the boys who actually happen to be in your gym. And how can we know that on this site?

    Of course a gym is heavy with testosterone, and homoerotic overtones. That doesn't mean any one of the men there would welcome your interest. And even if one was receptive, the others observing what was going on might be waiting for you when you get outside, and not in a good way.

    I'm not a big fan of gym cruising. Aside from the personal risks already mentioned in this thread, I'm concerned for my own selfish reasons, that this kind of public behavior promotes all the worst homophobic stereotypes about us gays. Straight guys complain that gays try to cruise them in locker rooms, and so what are you proposing? To cruise them there!

    Sorry, I can't help you here, and suggest you abandon this whole idea. There are better, safer, and more productive ways to cruise for gay guys, even in Alabama.
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    In b4 FearTheFall. icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 07, 2011 3:58 PM GMT
    Not cool. Gyms are a sanctuary for most guys to de-stress. Half the guys at my gym are gay and they do not cruise there, at least not in any way that creates tension. There's plenty of other places for that.

    If you like a guy as a person and think you might become gym buddies, start there. If you forget about the sexual attraction, and assume he's straight until he reveals otherwise, getting to know him will be a lot easier.
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    Feb 07, 2011 4:27 PM GMT
    Nivek saidIf you like a guy as a person and think you might become gym buddies, start there. If you forget about the sexual attraction, and assume he's straight until he reveals otherwise, getting to know him will be a lot easier.

    Wise advice. Gyms can work well for male bonding, not balling.
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    Feb 07, 2011 4:47 PM GMT
    Strange that FearTheFall hasn't responded yet... I'm thinking I don't even have to ask his opinion on this sort of situation.
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    Feb 07, 2011 4:59 PM GMT
    I will respond for him.

    You schmooze you lose.

    That is what he always says right?
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    Feb 07, 2011 5:23 PM GMT
    KSUOWL saidI will respond for him.

    You schmooze you lose.

    That is what he always says right?


    "YOU CRUISE YOU LOSE."

    But does anybody ever listen to him, No.
    But in this case he has a point. Especially in this siuation. The last thing you want is to get your gym membership revoked!
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Feb 07, 2011 5:42 PM GMT
    There is only one reason to be in a gym - to work out. Period.

    Nothing is more creepy, inappropriate, pathetic or misguided than to think that a gym is the alcohol-free version of a bar. Big fail.

    So, take note - if a measurable percentage of gay men on a health and fitness site for gay men are telling you, a gay man, that it's a bad idea to cruise in a gym, the sampling should tell you something about how you'll be perceived by most if not all of the (if any) gay or bisexual or curious men you'd find at a gym.

    I understand the natural inclination that you have to hunt in the migratory resting place of the kind of guy you'd like to hook up with. But it doesn't work that way in this instance. Serious guys - the kind of guys worth investing time in and seeing if something develops - those guys are not going to respond well to being cruised in the gym.

    Sure, you can get to know somebody there - authentically get to know them in a very casual way because you have real interest in their routine, chat them up if they need a spot, and then move on in an appropriate way with your work. And if you build a friendly rapport with a guy you see there regularly, one day, a LONG way into that casual acquaintance, you might suggesting hanging out at lunch after a workout one day. But only if it's something you'd do with ANYbody you met under those circumstances, not just a guy you think is hot and you'd like to nail. You can't do that and have any integrity. You just can't.

    So, if you're serious about the gym- then STAY serious about the gym. And the rest will follow when and where and how it's supposed to.

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    Feb 07, 2011 5:53 PM GMT
    I think you all think way too much. I lived in Alabama for three years. I see nothing wrong with taking note of guys that catch your attention and striking up conversations at the gym and seeing where they go, even in conservative areas. Just don't be a creep about it, no matter where you are. All of these sweeping generalizations about people and places get us nowhere.
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    Feb 07, 2011 5:59 PM GMT
    BRIX saidI think you all think way too much. I lived in Alabama for three years. I see nothing wrong with taking note of guys that catch your attention and striking up conversations at the gym and seeing where they go, even in conservative areas. Just don't be a creep about it, no matter where you are. All of these sweeping generalizations about people and places get us nowhere.


    Agreed. It also depends on what the OP means by cruising. Is he going to be heading to the gym, staying in the shower room for an hour looking for sex, or is he working out at the gym, sees a guy checking him out and starts up a convo which leads to outside the gym?

    There is a difference between the two.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Feb 07, 2011 6:03 PM GMT
    BRIX saidI think you all think way too much. I lived in Alabama for three years. I see nothing wrong with taking note of guys that catch your attention and striking up conversations at the gym and seeing where they go, even in conservative areas. Just don't be a creep about it, no matter where you are. All of these sweeping generalizations about people and places get us nowhere.


    "Taking note" and "striking up conversations" are ENTIRELY different than the OP's " look for guys at my gym" and "how safe it would be to sort of cruise for guys. I do get this feeling of tension sometimes when I am there, like homoerotic tension."

    It is ridiculously pathetic to encourage anyone in ANY region of the U.S. or anywhere else for that matter to think the latter is appropriate or that there's nothing wrong with it.
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    Feb 07, 2011 6:06 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidIn b4 FearTheFall. icon_lol.gif
    LOL was thinking the same thing. It's coming soon I'm sure.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 6:12 PM GMT
    jlenoconel saidMy bet is that all gyms are cruising areas, even the ones in conservative areas.


    Sorry but that's not correct. Most guys who are serious about lifting (including gay guys) would prefer to AVOID a gym that's "cruisy". That's not what they are there for.
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    Feb 07, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    No. If you want to check the guys out, do it on the gym floor, where they naturally assume that you want to admire their strength/check out technique/scope out new exercises to add to your routine.
  • trugh

    Posts: 27

    Feb 07, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    There seems to be a unanimous answer, "no". I agree with BRIX on this one: you guys think too much. It should not be too difficult to figure out what is creepy. I don't believe we need biblical rules of gym conduct.

    I am actually very anti-social at the gym. I try my best to find the times when the gym is mostly empty. But I still notice some guys sometimes. If I don't feel that they are noticing me back, I stop as well. Not too complicated really.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 11:34 PM GMT
    287571_745205.jpg

    Lol y'all stealing my thunder
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 11:50 PM GMT
    FearTheFall said287571_745205.jpg

    Lol y'all stealing my thunder


    Hahaha!
    Your Fault, you had it ingrained in our heads! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2011 12:00 AM GMT
    Personally, I wouldn't do it. I go to the gym to work out, not to hook up. If anything does happen it will happen outside of the gym. I'm not opposed to talking to someone and keeping things casual but if it upgrades to something further I have enough self control to not let things get out of hand where I work out at and I'm a "At least buy me dinner" kind of guy. LOL.

    If you want that kind of cruising action then I suggest going to a bathhouse because that's pretty much what they are for. Don't cruise at the gym. It's tacky.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2011 12:23 AM GMT
    FearTheFall said287571_745205.jpg

    Lol y'all stealing my thunder


    Haha. What took you so long! icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 08, 2011 12:39 AM GMT
    sashaman said
    FearTheFall said287571_745205.jpg

    Lol y'all stealing my thunder


    Haha. What took you so long! icon_lol.gif
    He was busy cruising. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    sashaman said
    FearTheFall said287571_745205.jpg

    Lol y'all stealing my thunder


    Haha. What took you so long! icon_lol.gif
    He was busy cruising. icon_twisted.gif


    Hehe. Are you suggesting this is a case of thou dost protest too much? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    sashaman said
    paulflexes said
    sashaman said
    FearTheFall said287571_745205.jpg

    Lol y'all stealing my thunder


    Haha. What took you so long! icon_lol.gif
    He was busy cruising. icon_twisted.gif


    Hehe. Are you suggesting this is a case of thou dost protest too much? icon_wink.gif
    Nope. It's a case of "the dog that barks the loudest..." icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 08, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    KSUOWL saidI will respond for him.

    You schmooze you lose.

    That is what he always says right?


    "YOU CRUISE YOU LOSE."

    But does anybody ever listen to him, No.
    But in this case he has a point. Especially in this siuation. The last thing you want is to get your gym membership revoked!


    I love tell Rob that people are talking about him in these threads. He sure has made an impression!