Trying to escape from the dark world of gaining

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2011 10:32 PM GMT
    I don't know how many of you know about the gaining scene that is very popular among gay guys, but I got trapped in it four years ago and I am still struggling to escape.

    In 2007 I discovered bloating on Youtube, and was fascinated by it. Those vids lead to me finding the ones of guys stuffing themselves and getting fatter. I became more curious, and found sites like Beefyfrat and Bellybuilders, where for the first time I was getting attention because I was overweight.

    The next thing I know, I have guys convincing me to eat a ton of bad food for them on cam, and agreeing to get fatter for them....sometimes agreeing to 350 pounds, 400....a few guys even wanted me immobile for their pleasure. I am embarassed to admit that I was willing to do it...it is a sick and disgusting form of control and I am trying desperately to get away from it. But four years is a long time for someone to be living the gainer life, and I find it extremely difficult to get rid of that old me.

    It scares me to no end that I can't get rid of the urges and wants, and that has effected me being able to become a healthier stronger person. I know I should be talking to a mental health professional, but I don't have the money. Plus I don't think they would understand.

    If anyone out there has been where I am now, I would greatly appreciate any insight and advice to close the page on a very dark chapter in my life.
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    Feb 08, 2011 12:17 AM GMT
    It's not a dark chapter in your life. It's an experience you learned from.
    I'm familiar with the gainer fetish...ran across it on YouTube a few times a while back.
    You don't need a shrink, because he'd just tell you to make the decision you already made - a change of lifestyle.

    Rather than fill you head full of useless bullshit on how to lose the fat you gained, I'll just say keep your head up and continue working to improve your quality of life. You'll find a program that works for you.

    And, congrats on recognizing and tackling the life that was making you unhappy! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    I know about the gainer scene. It's a very bizarre scene, sure, but the psychology behind it is that you're just trying to get bigger the easy way- kinda like a lineman or strongman (but not necessarily with muscle).

    Paul is right in what he says. The best way to turn this around is to continue to eat healthier and exercise. I'm still not 100% clear if you were turned on by the other guys or if you just started to cam for them, but if you were turned on by other big guys, then I would recommend lifting weights to gain muscle, because not only will you increase size in your arms, then you will also have a higher metabolism. Similar psychology, but one lifestyle is healthier, meanwhile the other isn't.

    I hope that helps.
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    Feb 08, 2011 12:56 PM GMT
    Thanks Paul, Bullwinkle, I appreciate the input. It was a turn on for me, to eat for those guys. And the very thought sickens me. I'm trying my hardest to not look back and keep moving forward.