Did you ever develop a "Stockholm Syndrome" for your bullies/aggressors?

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    Feb 07, 2011 11:44 PM GMT
    I had to endure a lot of systematic abuse by my peers in school growing. Pretty much non-stop for 12 years. In Mexico students have fixed classrooms, so the teachers are the ones that come and go, you stay in your seat next to the same people all day, every day, all year. Thus bullies have easy and immediate access to you on a constant basis.

    A peculiar phenomenon I recall is I had very strong urges to tend to them. See if they ever needed a sheet of paper, a pencil, help cheating on a test. I wanted to please them while enduring their abuse. How terribly pathetic wouldn't you say, something I find inconceivable now. I'm curious if anyone else ever experienced anything similar?
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    Feb 07, 2011 11:56 PM GMT
    Perhaps you were trying to mitigate their degree of abuse towards you by pleasing them.
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    Feb 07, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    carminea saidPerhaps you were trying to mitigate their degree of abuse towards you by pleasing them.


    I've thought about it, and I'm sure to a degree it applies. I would however have dreams where I was friends with them. It went beyond simply trying to find a pragmatic solution to stopping the bullying,
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    Feb 08, 2011 12:00 AM GMT
    you were just too young to know a good 'mechanic' to take care of them. Seriously, you have hit the nail on the head with the moniker...not unusual at all but in your case i don't believe you sympathized or empathized with them.....prob more of a survival technique, n'est pas?..........Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Feb 08, 2011 12:02 AM GMT
    [quote][/cite]Ariodante said [/cite]
    I've thought about it, and I'm sure to a degree it applies. I would however have dreams where I was friends with them. It went beyond simply trying to find a pragmatic solution to stopping the bullying,[/quote]
    I can understand your attraction to the allure of power they presented. While your case may only extend similarities to a minimum point, this mindset of the victim that advocates normalcy of the events is seen amongst other abusive relationships.
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:14 AM GMT
    I wonder, wouldn't say i was "tending" to any, but that does bring to mind a very specific situation..

    middle-schoolish, some bully was trying to bully me (and i wasn't a kid that was usually bullied.. i think the other bullies forgot to mention this to him icon_razz.gif ) but it didn't phase me, and i didn't take to it.

    One time he'd snatched a paper off my desk, and i happened to be finishing up my assignment. I went and turned in my work, and he'd been convinced i was gonna 'tell'.

    When confronted, I laughed at him and went back to work - i think that confused the bejeesus out of him. He was friendly from then on (until of course 2 years later ending up in Juvenile Detention.. and we didnt see him again for 3 years..)

    But this was my typical attitude towards those that were assholes, i wonder if maybe we just took similar approaches to dealing with the same issue? Rather than 'tend', i just let them go and often eventually earned their unwanted respect icon_smile.gif

    Interesting point icon_smile.gif