How do you meet real gay people?

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    Feb 08, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    I don’t really have any gay friends. I’d like to change that. I’m not really shy so I’ll try anything. People say clubs or bars but people don’t really go there hoping to make friends. I’ve met some cool people on here that I would like to chill with in real life but none of them live near me.
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:29 AM GMT
    I always figured it would be easy to meet gay friends in NYC.
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:30 AM GMT
    There's no such thing, they're all fake or imaginary. Ha ha.
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    I don't have many gay friends but there are a few (probably 10 or so... 3 of them I talk to regularly). Most of them became my friends before I knew they were gay and vice versa so that was just a nice coincidence.

    As for people who I knew were gay before they became my friends, I met them through a queer activities group in my town. Most of the events are friendly in nature (skating, movie nights, pick-up sports, etc.) and run about every month or so. I like these events as they lack the pressure the bar puts on hooking up so they are good places to meet friends. Look around to see if there is one of these groups in your city.
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    You can meet them through mutual friends and such. icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    Most of the gay guys I've met are from the gym. And a few from online.
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    You live in NYC. Walk around the block. Seriously, gay community centers can be a great start.
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    Digit1987 saidI don't have many gay friends but there are a few (probably 10 or so... 3 of them I talk to regularly). Most of them became my friends before I knew they were gay and vice versa so that was just a nice coincidence.

    As for people who I knew were gay before they became my friends, I met them through a queer activities group in my town. Most of the events are friendly in nature (skating, movie nights, pick-up sports, etc.) and run about every month or so. I like these events as they lack the pressure the bar puts on hooking up so they are good places to meet friends. Look around to see if there is one of these groups in your city.



    Ding, ding, ding...... BULLSEYE!
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:50 AM GMT
    If you have hobby join a gay club for that hobby...a sport or something. Join an organization that specializes is political/social gay issues. You could meet other men who are concerned with something more than how you look and how big you are.

    If you meet someone you want to be FRIENDS with, ask him to join you with another one of your friends for lunch or some activity, so that the sexual pressure is diminished and it doesn't feel like a date.

    You CAN meet decent guys in a bar or club and possibly develop a friendship outside the bar, but you have to be very clear and honest about who you are, what you want and what you don't want. Unfortunately, sometimes once a guy realizes you are into him as a friend and not sex, it's bye bye.

    It's not easy and often feels impossible, but it's worth the effort.
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    Feb 08, 2011 3:54 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI always figured it would be easy to meet gay friends in NYC.


    No my friend...it is not easier in NYC. It is, in many ways just as difficult as any place else.icon_cool.gif.
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Feb 08, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    Friends of friends. Most of the gay people I know are buddies of close friends of mine that I was introduced to at parties, through sports leagues, bar nights, etc. I hang out with them pretty frequently. It does help if you're out to your friends though.

    I am much more comfortable with this approach rather than blindly joining a league or attending some gay group event all by myself.
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    Feb 08, 2011 4:06 AM GMT
    KissingPro said
    paulflexes saidI always figured it would be easy to meet gay friends in NYC.


    No my friend...it is not easier in NYC. It is, in many ways just as difficult as any place else.icon_cool.gif.
    Hmmm...maybe it's just me, then.
    I have no trouble making gay friends anywhere I go - even in the deep south. icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 08, 2011 4:12 AM GMT
    I don’t really have any gay friends.
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    Feb 08, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI always figured it would be easy to meet gay friends in NYC.


    It's not.

    I mean, I'm new to this and I work 60-70 hour weeks, so maybe that's a factor too.
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:14 AM GMT
    closer85 said
    paulflexes saidI always figured it would be easy to meet gay friends in NYC.


    It's not.

    I mean, I'm new to this and I work 60-70 hour weeks, so maybe that's a factor too.


    Yeah, plus its not like they pass out little badges for people to wear that "Hey I'm gay"
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:22 AM GMT
    dekiruman said
    closer85 said
    paulflexes saidI always figured it would be easy to meet gay friends in NYC.


    It's not.

    I mean, I'm new to this and I work 60-70 hour weeks, so maybe that's a factor too.


    Yeah, plus its not like they pass out little badges for people to wear that "Hey I'm gay"
    You, my friend, have never been to a pride festival.
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:24 AM GMT
    dekiruman said
    Yeah, plus its not like they pass out little badges for people to wear that "Hey I'm gay"


    I know right! If only we could turn back time and fly over the Atlantic to Nazi Germany.

    ...If only.
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:25 AM GMT
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:27 AM GMT
    A1EX saidI don’t really have any gay friends.


    the sad thing is...you could....if you wanted them.........................Keithicon_cry.gif
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:28 AM GMT
    blackstrap said


    and you sir, have just struck my heart because Roy Orbison is my all time favourite artist, the greatest that ever lived in my opinion....thanks...Keithicon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    A gay soccer team, rugby, and wrestling club helped me out a lot.
    Theres a sub section in the community to fit everyones interests you just have to get out and do it.
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:31 AM GMT
    dekiruman saidI don’t really have any gay friends. I’d like to change that. I’m not really shy so I’ll try anything. People say clubs or bars but people don’t really go there hoping to make friends. I’ve met some cool people on here that I would like to chill with in real life but none of them live near me.


    Go where they are, but not necessarily bars and clubs (though that's an option). I'm sure a mere Google search would reveal all kinds of gay organizations in your area. Get involved.
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    Like anything it takes time and effort. The internet is a great tool for making friends, but I find the best way to making friends is getting involved and putting yourself out there. Like some have already mentioned, you can make new friends through mutual friends or even party or gay/gay friendly events.

    Also you may want to try sites like Connexion.org; it's a pretty cool site to make (gay) friends.

    Good Luck. icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 08, 2011 5:50 AM GMT
    you lure them out walking down the street with your cock on your hand...
  • KnuxNole

    Posts: 219

    Feb 08, 2011 6:57 AM GMT
    This is something I would like to find too. But, part of me is worried that people will base friendships on looks. I know straight people don't do this, but the stereotype of gays being "clique"-like makes me queasy. For example, I would like to play sports, but the guys might not want to hang with someone who isn't as muscley as them. I know hanging with straight guys there was no problem being really small, so idk.