If you have hobby join a gay club for that hobby...a sport or something. Join an organization that specializes is political/social gay issues. You could meet other men who are concerned with something more than how you look and how big you are.
If you meet someone you want to be FRIENDS with, ask him to join you with another one of your friends for lunch or some activity, so that the sexual pressure is diminished and it doesn't feel like a date.
You CAN meet decent guys in a bar or club and possibly develop a friendship outside the bar, but you have to be very clear and honest about who you are, what you want and what you don't want. Unfortunately, sometimes once a guy realizes you are into him as a friend and not sex, it's bye bye.
It's not easy and often feels impossible, but it's worth the effort.