Outlook on life.

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    Mar 31, 2008 9:22 PM GMT
    I guess it's hard to put into words what I'm trying to put across here, but do you ever feel like you will always be that one level beneath "happiness"? I mean I'm happy, a lot of the time, but it's never *real* happiness. I'm wondering what all you guys think makes you truly happy? I mean I've never really been in a relationship with a guy, I don't know how to talk to guys, and keep them, I wonder sometimes if that's it?

    Eef. If anyone can help, I'd like that icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 31, 2008 11:22 PM GMT
    As long as you keep examining it under a microscope, you'll never get there.

    Real happiness consists partly of making peace with certain cold facts of life: you'll never be perfect, though you can keep trying to improve; there is no "Mr. Absolutely Perfect", just a "Mr. He And I Seem to Fit Each Other", there is no ideal job, just if you're lucky something where there's more fun in it than the drudgery part; you may never be rich but you'll eventually have "enough", part of which means learning what really matters and what money can't buy you.

    Then you're on the road.

    Did this help?
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Mar 31, 2008 11:37 PM GMT
    I turn evil when I experience "true" happiness. I wouldn't be fun to be around.
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    Mar 31, 2008 11:46 PM GMT
    I don't believe life any less worthwhile because one is not "happy" all the time. It is an important emotion but one of several.

    If you try to restrict your life to worrying whether you are happy or not you will likely miss out on a lot.
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    Apr 01, 2008 12:15 AM GMT
    I used to feel like that. I don't know what happened, but my priorities changed. I took a look at what I really wanted in life and it isn't much. Mainly I want to be a joy and a comfort to my friends and family. "To laugh often and love much," as Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote. I don't need money to be happy. I'm totally content to lie on a patch of grass in the sunshine and do absolutely nothing. I've been insanely happy this past year (working out has had a lot to do with it), and I can appreciate it because there have been times where I've felt the complete opposite.

    I don't think there's anyway to describe what exactly makes me happy, nor is there a way to teach someone to be happy. It's something you need to find for yourself. All I know is life keeps getting better for me as I grow older. All the experiences I have, good and bad, leave me better equipped to deal with whatever is coming in the future. Living my life makes me happy.
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    Apr 01, 2008 12:19 AM GMT
    I don't want to sound cliche, but it's more about attitude than situation. If your not happy, there's little that will happen in your life that's outside of your control that will make you happy, even if it's winning the lottery.

    At the points in my life when I had all that I wanted or needed, I wasn't happy. After losing almost everything (twice for very different reasons) I realized that being happy was a choice I needed to make rather than the situations which were out of my control. Now I've been able to find happiness even amidst devastating loss.

    I should clarify that I'm not talking about the the bliss of ignorance. I refer to the simple happiness one gets when one truely appreciates the small things that many miss while striving for an unreachable success.
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    Apr 01, 2008 12:20 AM GMT
    Thanks guys.

    I guess things will get better eventually. I just feel a little lonely at the moment, I get it now and then, it could be something to do with being separated from my parents in my early teens. Sort of forced me to grow up and see life for what it was much earlier than I probably should have.

    I mean, I got past the "nothing thrills me" stage a few years ago now, followed by the "if you want to make anything of your life you have to do it yourself" stage. I just hope this is a bad day for me, and tomorrow everything will turn out for the better.

    Thanks a lot you guys though, I really didn't think anyone was going to reply to me for sounding like I needed too much..

    icon_redface.gificon_smile.gif
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    Apr 01, 2008 2:42 AM GMT

    Sometimes I think happiness is too lofty a goal to set. I mean true happiness, is to be totally free of worry and be totally content. I think that's the reason, we are never truly content and thus, never happy. I set the bar high, but not too high. As long as i'm NOT SAD, i'm "happy" with that. But when I get to where I am sad, I do whatever I can to change it.
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    Apr 02, 2008 8:31 AM GMT
    AlluringAnxiety saidI guess it's hard to put into words what I'm trying to put across here, but do you ever feel like you will always be that one level beneath "happiness"? I mean I'm happy, a lot of the time, but it's never *real* happiness. I'm wondering what all you guys think makes you truly happy? I mean I've never really been in a relationship with a guy, I don't know how to talk to guys, and keep them, I wonder sometimes if that's it?

    Eef. If anyone can help, I'd like that icon_smile.gif


    Oh yes. I just need a boyfriend and then I'll be really happy. Heh

    But I'm happy nonetheless. icon_biggrin.gif
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Apr 02, 2008 8:55 AM GMT
    As for happiness, it's something you experience when there is no need to achieve more, no want that must satiated; as such, it tends to be a momentary experience as opposed to an achievement that lasts until your end of days (unless you're reached a level of contentment that satifies you).

    The external conditions for happiness?

    It could be a blustery day, feeling the winds sweep over you and watching as the leaves quiver, rattling against each other (where noise becomes music).

    It could be a skilled kiss, so intertwined with another man that there is nothing else, no being or concern outside of the two of you melding together.

    It can be many things based on who you are. However, you may need to open yourself to your senses and embody a certain capre diem / capre noctem to "get" it.

    ***
    drakutis saidI turn evil when I experience "true" happiness. I wouldn't be fun to be around.

    Me thinks there is a vampire in our midst...a vampire with a soul and a gypsy curse...
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    Apr 02, 2008 10:22 AM GMT
    Good question.

    I think everyoneis in pursuit of true happiness.
    As for me I'm enjoying what I have for now. I know things can better for me or worse. i make the best of it and one day I'll find my true happiness but for now I'm content with the knowledge of knowing things are fine for now.
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    Apr 02, 2008 11:58 AM GMT
    drakutis saidI turn evil when I experience "true" happiness. I wouldn't be fun to be around.


    Alright, Angel....settle down....


    Anyways, I'm eternally hopeful and optimistic. Many times it's been mistaken for being naive and unrealistic, but it's true that anything can happen. Sure, something may have the odds stacked against it from happening, but there still is a chance.

    And bgcat57 and jbedwards, to follow along your thinking and give you further pondering, being happy is a good thing and something that doesn't happen all the time, but it's those times when we aren't happy when things don't go quite the way we want them that makes us more appreciative of the times when we are happy.
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    Apr 02, 2008 12:28 PM GMT
    Ok, I am an agnostic, so this is going to seem a little strange coming from me, but I just read this in a book I am reading by Elizabeth Gilbert, “Eat, Pray, Love”.

    “The Yogic path is about disentangling the built-in glitches of the human condition, which I’m going to over-simply define here as the heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment. Different schools of thought over the centuries have found different explanations for man’s apparently inherently flawed state. Taoists call it imbalance, Buddism calls it ignorance, Islam blames our misery on rebellion against God, and the Judeo-Christian tradition attributes all out suffering to original sin. Freudians say that unhappiness is the inevitable result of the clash between our natural drives and civilization’s needs. The Yogis, however, say that human discontentment is a simple case of mistaken identity. We’re miserable because we think that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentments and mortality. We wrongly believe that our limited little egos constitute our whole entire nature. We have failed to recognize our deeper divine character. We don’t realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme Self who is eternally at peace. That supreme Self is our true identity, universal and divine. Before you realize this truth, say the Yogis, you will always be in despair, a notion nicely expressed in this exasperated line from the Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus: ‘You bear God within you, poor wretch, and know it not’.”

    I think there may be some truth in all this Yogic path stuff. I think happiness has come for me because I decided to let go of a lot of the sh#te that is out there. OK, hope that helps.
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    Apr 02, 2008 12:50 PM GMT
    You know what....
    Go home.
    Strip down to your underwear.
    Cue up your favorite song on your iPod.
    Dance and/or sing along until you can't no more!
    When you settle on the floor afterward, you'll feel true happiness.



    At least I do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 1:21 PM GMT
    Sometimes, it's just the simple things that are the most satisfying....
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    Apr 11, 2008 4:20 PM GMT
    Every day is a gift.
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    Apr 11, 2008 4:22 PM GMT
    Learn to Love yourself and you will be Happy believe me and John is Right also!
  • Muunrakur

    Posts: 169

    Apr 11, 2008 4:22 PM GMT
    Perhaps to some folks, happiness is an idea that is always so perfect that its unattainable.

    I'm very content now but I expect I could be happier. But when I look back to my bad days, I realize that I'm amazingly happy right now.