Online Sites - All for Hook Ups?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 7:00 AM GMT
    It seems to be the common perception from so many people that if you have a profile online then you are looking for sex. But I hate that assumption.

    Why cant I go online and meet someone for friends, a run, work?

    I actually made a business connection through grindr! LOL
    I have made friends from around the world on RJ and MH.
    And not slept with them.

    However I have hooked up with guys from online before too.

    Why is every guy you meet online assumed to be a hook up and nothing more?

  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Feb 09, 2011 1:21 PM GMT
    I haven't met a single person on RJ who assumed that what I wanted was a hookup, I find that this site is much more about community and the forums and improving our bodies than it is about finding someone to have sex with, and it's marketed as such. I think it's one of the only ones that's marketed that way, too. If you're on gay.com, manhunt, grindr, adam4adam, dudesnude.......they are marketed as hookup sites, so it's no surprise that one would find guys interesting in hooking up on those sites.
  • fitdude62

    Posts: 294

    Feb 09, 2011 1:58 PM GMT
    Every site could be a hook up site. It depends on what you are looking for.

    Intention is eveything. If you are just looking for friends and buddies for activities then that is what you'll find. If you are looking for sex then that is what you'll find.

    I find that most of the guys here are great and looking for information and friends. That is what I find here. RJ is one of my favorite site!

    Peace
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 2:11 PM GMT
    Recently started spending a lot more time on connexion.com than here, in part because there is less of a focus on appearance and who is hotter than whom. This may be in part because a.) they don't allow racy photos and b.) there are women on the site too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 2:35 PM GMT
    Nuances of Generation Z...the internet is their world, we're just renting icon_cool.gif

    I am here for friends, and even use grindr for friends (a rarity). I don't look for relationships online but everyone has their own intentions.

    I guess its the common perception because most sites are geared towards that (meeting people), and unless it's on a site catering to a specific hobby like rock-climbing, or a need, like networking (linkedin), then there's probably only one other thing you're looking for...Bunjamon said it well.

    I'd say: It depends on the context of the site

    I understand though, how this can be annoying when trying to meet new people online..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 3:00 PM GMT
    Oh and to the OP, if you don't want people to think you're here to hook up, put a shirt on for your profile pic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 3:05 PM GMT
    njmeanwhile saidOh and to the OP, if you don't want people to think you're here to hook up, put a shirt on for your profile pic.


    As simple as it sounds you are so correct!
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Feb 09, 2011 3:14 PM GMT
    I'm surprised more people don't know about RealJock and use it. It's probably the best overall gay site by a mile, but most the time when I ask someone if they are on it -- they've never heard of it.
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    Feb 09, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    njmeanwhile saidOh and to the OP, if you don't want people to think you're here to hook up, put a shirt on for your profile pic.



    See this is what I am talking about. Just cause I dont have a shirt on means I am here to hook up?!?!?!?! Guys have said how RJ is the exception yet clearly if I put up a shirtless pic as my profile pic then I am here to hook up! Why is this the case?

    Why cant you just be on to meet people and make friends? Why are there people out there that clearly think otherwise?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    Let's call a spade a spade. In general (with some very limited exceptions), guys use on-line sites to hook up. Just look at the pictures that we post and you can pretty much tell. I would say, though, that realjock appears to be a tad better than most gay sites because it offers "value-added" features, such as forums which I really like. I do empathize with those who are genuinely just looking for friends, but those are few and far between (assuming they're not lying to themselves). I also understand that, even if you're only looking for friends, there are some guys who will not take "no" for an answer. What can I say--we're all pigs. I suppose one could very explicitly indicate in his profile that he's not looking for anything other than a bud, friend, workout partner, etc. But looking for just friends on this site, really?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    Sometimes it also helps to explicitly state in your online profile that you are not looking for hook-ups. Having said that, not everyone actually READS the profile before messaging.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Feb 09, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    can_duathlete said
    njmeanwhile saidOh and to the OP, if you don't want people to think you're here to hook up, put a shirt on for your profile pic.



    See this is what I am talking about. Just cause I dont have a shirt on means I am here to hook up?!?!?!?! Guys have said how RJ is the exception yet clearly if I put up a shirtless pic as my profile pic then I am here to hook up! Why is this the case?

    Why cant you just be on to meet people and make friends? Why are there people out there that clearly think otherwise?


    For the record, I have shirtless pictures but I'm not here to hook up. And I get next to none of the "lookin 4 hot cock" messages, which I credit to the content of my profile.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    can_duathlete saidIt seems to be the common perception from so many people that if you have a profile online then you are looking for sex. But I hate that assumption.

    Why cant I go online and meet someone for friends, a run, work?

    I actually made a business connection through grindr! LOL
    I have made friends from around the world on RJ and MH.
    And not slept with them.

    However I have hooked up with guys from online before too.

    Why is every guy you meet online assumed to be a hook up and nothing more?



    I can relate to you. I think because most guys are able to use such services for sex it automatically makes it look bad.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Feb 09, 2011 5:11 PM GMT
    Ricovelas said
    njmeanwhile saidOh and to the OP, if you don't want people to think you're here to hook up, put a shirt on for your profile pic.


    As simple as it sounds you are so correct!


    So Ricovelas, you're here to hookup?
  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Feb 09, 2011 5:21 PM GMT
    well....Its the NOW generation....lol....they hook up cuz they can and gay men are....errrr.....Easy!!!....LMAO
    icon_lol.gificon_eek.gif
  • bmw0

    Posts: 588

    Feb 09, 2011 5:29 PM GMT
    Any website is what you make of it.

    Having a shirtless photo on a fitness website is hardly reason to think someone is a hooker upper. It just means he is proud of his body and don't mind sharing that.

    I get that sometimes on other sites as well, would it be any better if he were on a beach? I heard that one before. ha! I

    have made good friends off of different sites, and im not a hooker upper. It does bug me that people want to impose their impression of the online world on everyone else. Make it what you want it to be, let others do the same.

    As for RJ, its probably one of very few sites i would consider having a profile on if i were in a relationship. Its not as seedy here, now with that said my partner would have full access to it as well.. but im just one of those "above suspicion" types. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 5:52 PM GMT
    I dont think its an online thing, but its a man's thing in general. We like sex, and we like lots of it with many partners by nature. Granted, usually guys settle down and pick one after some point, but I find that no matter what the environment (internet, bar, club gym) if it hosts many gay men, sex is bound to happen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2011 10:25 PM GMT
    Most sites are strictly for hookups. It's hard to make a platonic friend through A4A but easy through here, since this site is not really a hookup site.
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    Feb 09, 2011 10:42 PM GMT
    FearTheFall saidMost sites are strictly for hookups. It's hard to make a platonic friend through A4A but easy through here, since this site is not really a hookup site.
    I've made some great friends thru A4A without sex. I have it very clearly spelled out in my profile that I'm NOT looking to hook up, I'm in a relationship. I do still get some who are interested in sex but I tell them thanks but no thanks. I meet and bike with other guys from the site. Spell out what your desires are and then just point the guys back to the profile for re-reading (which usually means read it first).
  • TampaRy

    Posts: 28

    Feb 09, 2011 10:48 PM GMT
    I've had some success with a4a. Just make it clear early on what you're looking for (friends, running buddies, etc.), and I've found people are good with that. I'd say since I joined a4a, I've met two people who have ended up being real good friends, and two who I dated long-term.

    You just have to be patient and filter through all the creepers!