Falling for the wrong guy...

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    Apr 01, 2008 12:11 AM GMT
    How many of u always fall for the wrong guy? Like you know he's not good for you, u know he does not benefit you, but u fall for him and all his flaws and you end up looking at the big picture and telling yourself that u are stupid for following him and that u deserve better?
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    Apr 01, 2008 12:43 AM GMT
    Knowing myself, I'd probably be more worried about whether or not said guy is thinking those things about me.
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    Apr 01, 2008 3:19 AM GMT

    I've done this a couple times, but I did not regret it or feel stupid, because it was totally premeditated! Falling for the wrong guy is like getting seconds of the peach cobbler at Thanksgiving, you know it's wrong, but you want to indulge. And what are the wrong guys? They are the BAD types, atleast to us: the grungy leather daddys, the conceited jock muscleheads, or the flaming girly men (or atleast these are my three poisons of choice). Anyway, you know it's wrong, because you want something substantial and can't have it or atleast pretend you are looking for it with someone who is so damn bad. But still, when they scratch in public, talk excessively about themself constantly, or switch more than a ham radio during an electric storm, you like it a little too, huh?
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    Apr 01, 2008 4:09 AM GMT
    Moudi, how many threads are you going to start about your failed romance? You're only 20, it will probably happen again. Get over it already.
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    Apr 01, 2008 4:18 AM GMT
    I believe that it is a learning curve. Not every relationship is for a lifetime as much as I would like to believe it is.

    There is a great poem about everything being a season. Some friends/relationships are for today. Some are for months or even years, and a few are forever. The important part is to take all the positive from each person that touches your life and grow with it.

    LIfe is a long lesson, a journey of growth. I've seen some that take each experience and become better. And I've seen many that become more bitter by the year. It's taken me many years, but I've finally learned the lesson.

    Is my life easy, no. Is every relationship great, Fuck No, but every day I wake up and thank the universe for the amazing challenges that I get to grow from.


    My advise for you Moudi is this. Never assume that anyone or everyone is out to harm you. Just because you get hurt, doesn't mean that the persons intention was bad. We're all still learning and growing.

    Learn from the good, learn from the bad, and embrace the beauty of it all.

    I must now go fart some rainbows and butterflys cause damn I feel like a unicorn loving lesbian.
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Apr 01, 2008 5:16 AM GMT
    Honestly, Moudi, it's likely to happen again and as long as your heart aches from your bad experiences, you at least know you have one. I'd say that you're too young to be jaded, but you are well on your way if you don't learn how to cope with heartache. Chalk it up to a learning experience, read a good novel on vengeance like The Count of Monte Cristo (since you don't watch movies, otherwise I'd recommend Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Moulin Rouge or Get Over It) and learn to move on.

    No, life is not like a movie or a book, but a little distraction rarely hurt, and since you're in college, you don't have time for the pain.
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    Apr 01, 2008 6:44 AM GMT
    Moudi baby... you're great. Life is beautiful! You're beautiful and life is about experience. Enjoy, endulge, love, learn. Everything is going to be OK. Love yourself!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 01, 2008 10:29 AM GMT
    The falling for the wrong guy thing has to do with experience and learning what is good for you

    You're only twenty and yeah...
    we do have to take some falls in order to learn certain things in life but you'll start to see that....

    ... Hey, if I slam my head against said wall?
    It's gonna hurt like hell
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    Apr 01, 2008 12:05 PM GMT
    Generally I fall for "good" guys that have baggage that needs to be sorted out. Unfortunately, that can be a little dangerous; I got burned seriously from my last relationship like that.

    I've learned that at this point that you really need to be aware of what you're looking for, and what you're NOT looking for, and to be aware of when you're compromising your goals for a larger goal down the road.

    Also, if you keep falling for the same guy, you're probably going to keep getting the same results.

    In the end, though you may be a little bruised, so long as you learn from the experience, you'll be better off and live to date another day.
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    Apr 01, 2008 1:45 PM GMT
    if you're "always falling for the wrong guy", then it's time that you start learning who you are, what you are capable of, what it is you want and work to acheive that personally. Be your own man, learn to be more independant than "dependant" in finding happiness. icon_wink.gif

    The bottom line is, it has more to do with you, than "the guy".

    Oooh, damn I was just possessed by a Dr. Phil moment, not pretty... Why couldn't it have been Chris Evans. icon_eek.gif
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Apr 01, 2008 2:05 PM GMT
    If you're always falling for the wrong guys, maybe the problem isn't with them. Maybe you're convincing yourself they're the "wrong" guys so that when it all goes south, you can beat yourself over the head and say, "I knew it!"

    Maybe you should try giving these guys the benefit of the doubt and just see where it takes you. I don't think you can really know if someone "benefits" you until well after its over. And even then, they may have added meaning to that big picture you're talking about rather than actually being someone for you.

    Or maybe they just made your life a little more fun and exciting in the short term. icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 01, 2008 2:48 PM GMT
    polobutt saidI must now go fart some rainbows and butterflys cause damn I feel like a unicorn loving lesbian.


    That is by far the best line I've heard in eons.

    And Moudi......think of it this way: you can't truly discover what works for you unless you discover what doesn't.
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    Apr 01, 2008 6:04 PM GMT
    jprichva saidMoudi, how many threads are you going to start about your failed romance? You're only 20, it will probably happen again. Get over it already.


    this is the first thread i have about a failed romance...if u dont have anything nice to say or be supportive, then simply ignore them
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    Apr 01, 2008 6:07 PM GMT
    styrgan saidIf you're always falling for the wrong guys, maybe the problem isn't with them. Maybe you're convincing yourself they're the "wrong" guys so that when it all goes south, you can beat yourself over the head and say, "I knew it!"

    Maybe you should try giving these guys the benefit of the doubt and just see where it takes you. I don't think you can really know if someone "benefits" you until well after its over. And even then, they may have added meaning to that big picture you're talking about rather than actually being someone for you.

    Or maybe they just made your life a little more fun and exciting in the short term. icon_twisted.gif


    i wish it were my problem...but unfortunately for me, and as far as stupid choices would go, i feel for a guy who's a pot head, and i guess u can assume how the drama goes form there
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    Apr 01, 2008 6:11 PM GMT

    Drug use is a, what? DEALBREAKER.
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    Apr 01, 2008 7:11 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Drug use is a, what? DEALBREAKER.


    true to that....
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    Apr 03, 2008 8:27 PM GMT
    Thanks Zdrew.... I even had to laugh at myself there.
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    Apr 03, 2008 9:09 PM GMT
    i've finally come to the conclusion that the only people i like are bad for me... if fall for you i should ask myself, "what's wrong with this person?"

    in order to avoid this i'm taking some time away to consider what i want and need, who i am, and (yes) whether or not my family would like the person i am with... they seem to be much better at detecting red flags than i am...

    so... i've told my mom specifically that if she sees something, she needs to TELL ME.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Apr 03, 2008 9:12 PM GMT
    I realized recently I fall for the passive aggressive guy. The one who NEVER expresses his feelings until it is too late.

    That always upsets me and I can be that guy. I'm working my ass off to change that and I want to meet more honest and open (and HOT!) men.
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    Apr 03, 2008 10:07 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidi've finally come to the conclusion that the only people i like are bad for me... if fall for you i should ask myself, "what's wrong with this person?"

    in order to avoid this i'm taking some time away to consider what i want and need, who i am, and (yes) whether or not my family would like the person i am with... they seem to be much better at detecting red flags than i am...

    so... i've told my mom specifically that if she sees something, she needs to TELL ME.


    i should start listening to my mother's advice...every man i went into a relationship with, she did not like, and she told me they were wrong for and set out to find a good man for me, but i never listen to her, maybe i should
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    Apr 03, 2008 10:22 PM GMT
    Moudi said
    i should start listening to my mother's advice...every man i went into a relationship with, she did not like, and she told me they were wrong for and set out to find a good man for me, but i never listen to her, maybe i should

    Your mom would love me. I promise. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 03, 2008 10:23 PM GMT
    Global_Citizen said[quote][cite]Moudi said[/cite]
    i should start listening to my mother's advice...every man i went into a relationship with, she did not like, and she told me they were wrong for and set out to find a good man for me, but i never listen to her, maybe i should

    Your mom would love me. I promise. icon_lol.gif[/quote]

    lol, if that works for her, im on top of it!