First dates with guys you actualy like


  • Feb 10, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    So I'm still sort of new to this whole gay lifestyle and I need some advice from both the young and the experienced.

    Should you have sex on the first date with someone you want to have a lasting relationship with?
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    Feb 10, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    that highly varies. some times it's read as: 1 does he bed THAT easy? or 2. OMg he really likes me. to 3. Damn what a slut. so ikinda leave the first date open to a serious lip lock session, IF i'm seriously serious.

    but like it said it varies highly
  • Kinneticbrian

    Posts: 230

    Feb 10, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    Why rush it? Let the first date unfold and keep things at a sane pace. It seems so frustrating that so many guys want to cram as many of the memorable or big moments into a short time frame - then wonder why they end up bored and broken up.

    The sex will be so much better too if you wait and get to know one another first and really find out whether or not you're in to each other.
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    Feb 10, 2011 2:57 AM GMT
    STOP IT! You already kno the answer to this question!icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 10, 2011 3:50 AM GMT
    Why not?

    The Swedes totally would. One anthropological account could be best summed up as: "Well if the sex sucks, then finding that out right away saves a lot of time and heartbreak; sometimes it's best to just be friends."

    Since I'm of the opinion that sex in a relationship is often (but not always) more of a bell curve, I'd hesitate to sign on to that completely. But I'd hate to get too caught up in heterosexual baggage by projecting it on my own relationships.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:00 AM GMT
    If you like him and you're ready then, yes, you can have sex on the first date.

    If the date went bad then you'd better have sex on the first date. You wouldn't want to go on another bad date with the same guy just to find out if he's any good in bed.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:30 AM GMT
    That is personal preference. Personally, I don't want to give it all away on the first date. The guy will probably get a kiss, but a passionate makeout is the farthest I would go. Other people will say sex is a must on the first date, so you really just have to figure it out for yourself.
  • MarvelClimber

    Posts: 511

    Feb 10, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    I don't see how you can even know you want to have a lasting relationship with (platonic or romatic) and you haven't even had a date yet.

    I've done both. You kind of already know if you're going to sleep together before the first date, so to call it a date is just a formality. You can get sex without all that. So, if you like someone enough to date them, then wait. Waiting with someone you really like reifies the intimacy between you two, even if the sex itself isn't that great.

    If you sleep together the first date you run into the issue of being labeled as easy. The other person thinks, 'if he did that with me, he'll do it with others.' All the while, he disregards the obvious fact that he did it as well. The hypocrisy doesn't really matter because he's glossed over the 'getting to know you' part and put you in the 'fuck buddy' pile.

    Last piece of advice: don't think you have to model yourself after any gay lifestyle. If you treat others with respect you'll find the kind of guy you WANT to wait for.
  • LeeBee

    Posts: 26

    Feb 10, 2011 5:31 AM GMT
    I have decided recently now to NEVER sleep with a guy on the first date.

    I get really nervous after and then i can't face him. Then i start avoiding and then i completely ignore. This results in hurting both of us- but probably the other guy more icon_sad.gif

    So I agree with a lot of what is being said here- kissy kissy bye bye. Then you leave the want for more there too i would have thought?

    Lee
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    Feb 10, 2011 6:57 AM GMT
    Well if I ever actually get asked to go on a date, I'll let you know.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Feb 10, 2011 7:05 AM GMT
    Willz09 saidWell if I ever actually get asked to go on a date, I'll let you know.


    There must be a lot of blind guys where you live
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    Feb 10, 2011 7:08 AM GMT
    Willz09 saidWell if I ever actually get asked to go on a date, I'll let you know.
    dido
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Feb 10, 2011 8:26 AM GMT
    I've never been on a real date.