Facebook Friending Guys You Don't Know

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    So This has been a predicament of mine for a few years, and I wanted to see what everyone else thinks. I have a handful of gay friends on facebook (I'm not really out, so it's not a ton), and I often see good-looking guys on their facebook pages, who have enough gay mutual friends with me where I know they bat on the same team. I feel like, in this modern age, I should be able to facebook friend them without knowing them, and they won't get creeped out. But in reality, I think most people still have hang-ups about it (and I've had mixed results in that department).

    Does anyone else friend guys they don't know on Facebook in the hopes of meeting them? Why or why not? Do you send a message when you do it? Thanks for the thoughts!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    Do you have a profile pic on Facebook?icon_rolleyes.gif Or is everyone just friending silhouettes?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:05 AM GMT
    I have seven people on my Facebook. Seven. I know them all in person, most for at least a decade and the "newest" being someone I've known for 6 years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    I frequently Facebook people who I don't know....sometimes gay guys, sometimes others who just seem interesting. Never had a problem, everyone accepts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    I've friended guys I didn't know. Not because I thought I'd meet them, just to see all their pics. Sometimes they accept, sometimes they don't.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    I don't really send Facebook requests anymore, but I do get a lot of friend requests from gay guys and we usually have normally 5-10+ mutual friends. icon_lol.gif
  • Wallace69

    Posts: 10

    Feb 10, 2011 4:30 AM GMT
    Hello
    I joined face book just a few days ago so not 100% sure how it all works, but if someone wants to add you or you want to add someone then why not, as long as they are looking for the same as you.
    Wallace xxx
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:31 AM GMT
    No. The only people on my friendlist I haven't met in person are either band members/radio connections or people I worked with on pedo-busting stings way back when.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    Facebook friends request are all up to how the person feels towards adding strangers to their Facebook friends. Personally, I don't think it's good to friend request people unless your on a good rapport with them. I've added two people who I don't know which I in turn deleted, because of non communication. It's just facebook though so whatever. I'd say unless your comfortable with random strangers knowing a few intimate details about your life that's what sites like RJ are for.
  • metta

    Posts: 39089

    Feb 10, 2011 4:41 AM GMT
    hmm...I don't personally friend random people but I would accept someone that asked. I have friended people that I find fascinating and inspiring.

    I really don't care who sees my fb page...I have a bunch of people that I have no idea who they are. that friended me for the games...and have had some of them respond that they have learned a lot....which is a good thing. icon_smile.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    I have occasionally friend-requested people I don't know but there is usually a specific reason, which I put in the request vs. letting them think the creepy worst. If it is someone with whom I have mutual friends, I would ask for a suggestion.

    I have almost 600 people on my list and I have met most of them, but a good number of those are due to my volunteer work so it's more about networking than trading farm supplies and what-have-you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    A friend request is a friend request is a friend request.

    It's all up to you. Some will accept while others will decline. All the people on my facebook are people I have personally meet with the exception of bands or tv shows. I've gotten a few friend requests from random people that have some mutual friends but just because we have mutual friends doesn't mean I wanna be their friend. Doesn't work that way (at least not for me).

    I'm the type of person who will actually try talking to someone first before clicking those buttons. I need a reason to be someone's friend. I can't just go off of "Oh their profile looks interesting. Let me just send a request." In most cases I even ask if I can add them and I'd like it if people did that to me. It's all about the approach.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:43 AM GMT
    I do not friend people I don't know on Facebook. I have preferably met them in person or at least had some sort of extensive online/phone interaction with them. I'd say...98% of my Facebook friends are people I know in reality and not the digital universe.

    But I think people should articulate and orchestrate their online world to their liking. If someone wants to randomly Facebook connect with strangers, more power to them. You never know what might happen, good and bad.
  • rebelbeard

    Posts: 558

    Feb 10, 2011 4:57 AM GMT
    ACK0299 saidSo This has been a predicament of mine for a few years, and I wanted to see what everyone else thinks. I have a handful of gay friends on facebook (I'm not really out, so it's not a ton), and I often see good-looking guys on their facebook pages, who have enough gay mutual friends with me where I know they bat on the same team. I feel like, in this modern age, I should be able to facebook friend them without knowing them, and they won't get creeped out. But in reality, I think most people still have hang-ups about it (and I've had mixed results in that department).

    Does anyone else friend guys they don't know on Facebook in the hopes of meeting them? Why or why not? Do you send a message when you do it? Thanks for the thoughts!


    I have to disagree with your statement " I feel like, in this modern age, I should be able to facebook friend them without knowing them, and they won't get creeped out." I do not add people I do not know. Especially randoms. Occasionally someone will message me or I will message them and after some talking we may add each other. But I do not just accept a friend request from someone I do not know. If I dont know them in person, regardless of how many friends we have in common, why should we be Facebook friends? That is how you start to get a clutter up your friends list.

    Facebook is not MySpace.

    If you want to meet someone just message them and see where it goes. Dont just add random people. It comes across as weird or creepy.

    Just my opinion though! =-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    i hate random friend requests!!! i will NOT accept unless the guy is ridiculously hot
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 5:01 AM GMT
    I only add people I know in person. Facebook has become too personal to open be to the internet world. I see it as an internet communication tool you use to keep in touch with your reality world.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    No... It isn't myspace! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 5:12 AM GMT
    photosrus saidNo... It isn't myspace! icon_biggrin.gif


    LOL RIGHT! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 5:13 AM GMT
    Also I should mention that I use friend groups a lot to control who can see what, and who can post on my wall. If I need to add someone I don't know, they go in a "never met" group who by default can't see my posts and also can't post on my wall. Once I know what they want and are sure they're not crazy, I will remove them from that list. The random adds usually never comment again and I unfriend them in a few months. Then nobody's feelings get hurt and I can also post what I want to without worrying. I agree with AvadaKedavra that FB can be personal (sometimes without you intending it to be) and it's nicer to not have to worry what random strangers will learn or say about you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    photosrus saidNo... It isn't myspace! icon_biggrin.gif


    wow..people still use myspace?! icon_eek.gif
  • frankyzhang

    Posts: 40

    Feb 10, 2011 6:20 AM GMT
    i never send people who i dont know friend request but i do confirm stranger's friend request on facebook. actually if you dont expect too much at the very bgginning and send them a friend request with a piece of polite friendly information, i think people would friend you as well. then you can check them out, according to their online information maybe afer some on line communication, you can decide if you wanna meet them in person.
    however, i do know some people who only friend their close friend on facebook, in that case there is nothing you can do but respect their own choice.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 6:20 AM GMT
    Yes, people still use Myspace and I am one of them. And no, if I don't know you or you don't send me a reason why you want to be added, you don't get added and if you are added, but don't actively try to get to know me or allow me to get to know you, you'll be deleted. Have done that here and Myspace. I don't accept friend requests from people I have never communicated with on Facebook or anywhere else. Besides, it is called 'friend' request, not 'Stranger wanting to be a friend' request.
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    Feb 10, 2011 7:00 AM GMT
    I only do that with pornstars... but if someone does it with me, I'll message them and ask if I know them... then it gets awkward and ends.

    I don't mind randoms adding me, generally, but it is a little odd, and I usually end up deleting them when I realize, "wtf?"

    What actually bothers me... is the "poke" feature. I hate it. When people "poke" me, friends or not, I just message them to ask what the hell their problem is or what do they want... and 90% of the time, it's just, "I dunno."

    .... *delete*

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 7:01 AM GMT
    Don’t its a trap...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 7:33 AM GMT
    I don't usually add anyone random unless they are interesting. I do however check out others whom have mutual friends and are definitely on the radar.

    Its tempting to add someone attractive but then its always up to them whether they accept or not.