dating but not over my ex

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2011 8:59 AM GMT
    its been a couple of months since my ex broke up with me. i'm glad to say that i haven't drunk dialed him yet! though i know he wasn't really good to me through out our relationship. he was my first boyfriend which is probably why i'm having a hard time getting over him. my friends suggested to start dating other guys to see what else is out there but i just can't seem to get my ex out of my head. i tend to compare little details about him to other guys i go out with which i know is unfair but it's killing me that i'm with someone else instead of him... icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 10, 2011 9:11 AM GMT
    Simplified, but your first will never go away, but the pain left by the first will lessen with each day that passes.
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    Feb 10, 2011 11:40 AM GMT
    ErikTaurean saidSimplified, but your first will never go away, but the pain left by the first will lessen with each day that passes.

    Yeah i think you are right i am sure it will pass man you will find a great guy that will make you so happy.Stay strong hot guy icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 10, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    Make a pro and con list.. and keep making them till you realize your rose colored memories are not really rational. You broke up for a reason..look up, look out, move on
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 10, 2011 1:27 PM GMT
    I don't think it has anything to do with him being your first. You just need time to heal and for some it takes longer than others. Maybe your feelings run a lot deeper than your friends that are giving you advice about dating. It took me quite a few years to let go after my ltr.

    Still even today when I'm struggling to date someone I think back "It was never this difficult when I first started dating my ex".
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    Feb 10, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    The only thing that seemed to help me get past feelings for my ex/first love, was meeting someone else. Of course things aren't the same... but they're better. Now I have days when I don't even think about him. It's hard, but eventually someone will give you a reason to really move on.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Feb 10, 2011 3:34 PM GMT
    ErikTaurean saidSimplified, but your first will never go away, but the pain left by the first will lessen with each day that passes.


    ^^^^^ this and.....Comparing others to your old bf will only bring disappointment instead look for the qualities your ex lacked better results will be had...BUD
  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Feb 10, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    I agree with alot of the comments....Best way to get over an ex is to meet other people and surround your self with friends and support. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 10, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    I would start seeing other people but not seriously date. I think it's dangerous for someone who isn't completely over his ex to get seriously involved with another guy. What if the other guy falls head-over-heels in love with you and you're not quite over your ex or ready to move on? I think that happens more often than we're willing to admit, and usually someone gets terribly hurt in the process. Good luck and I wish you quick recovery from your pain.
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    Feb 10, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    Mikeylikesit saidI agree with alot of the comments....Best way to get over an ex is to meet other people and surround your self with friends and support. icon_biggrin.gif


    Friends are a good support system. Just get those feelings out of ya and talk to your friends. I'm sure you will feel a bit better afterwards. Last thing you want to do is keep those feelings inside. Just get it out of ya. You don't have to force yourself on dates if you are not up to it. Like many said, time is the best medicine and when you're ready you will know. Take a break if thats what you need. Your friends obviously care about you and want you to date. But its really up to you bro, stay strong!
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    Feb 10, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    LittlePrince saidThe first love is the hardest 2 let go, but, trust me, you will make it~
    Yep, I had a really tough time getting past my first. Takes time and you need to let him go before you can look beyond. Hang in there.
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    Feb 10, 2011 5:34 PM GMT
    I thought I had let go of my first... well, he never said we had "a relationship", so we agreed that we were lovers. That was nearly two years ago now, and I still get hurt and cry over him a little. It ended when I had to go home, so I guess he's my Someday guy.

    Allow yourself to grieve the loss, cry, punch a pillow, yell at your reflection in the mirror, write angry rants down, anything to let out the pain and process the emotions. It lessens with time, but is always just a little bit there until you let it go for good.
  • rebelbeard

    Posts: 558

    Feb 10, 2011 6:31 PM GMT
    kangourou saidI thought I had let go of my first... well, he never said we had "a relationship", so we agreed that we were lovers. That was nearly two years ago now, and I still get hurt and cry over him a little. It ended when I had to go home, so I guess he's my Someday guy.

    Allow yourself to grieve the loss, cry, punch a pillow, yell at your reflection in the mirror, write angry rants down, anything to let out the pain and process the emotions. It lessens with time, but is always just a little bit there until you let it go for good.



    This nailed right on the head. You will get over him and move on I promise. My true first love and I work together and after quite some time we are just friends and its totally cool. Feel what you have to feel. That is what will help you! Dont date other guys until you are ready though. It isnt fair to you or them.

    In order to get past something you have to go through it.

    Val