Dating in the World of internet hook ups!

  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Feb 10, 2011 6:02 PM GMT
    So...Am I realistic to think that one can still find an exclusive relationship in the high speed world of dating and cruise sites??. It seems like everyone wants a quick hook up, date several guys at once and now they just call everyone "friend". What has come of the gay dating scene become. ??? I have tried A4A and recently joined grindr. But they all seem to be same thing icon_twisted.gificon_evil.gif Am I still living in the pre internet world? or do I need to change my philosophy on dating??....thought??
  • bismark1993

    Posts: 26

    Feb 11, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    I've wondered the same things inasmuch, are there strategies to fend off sluts and trolls on certain sites?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 11, 2011 3:44 AM GMT
    i think, OP, that you joined two hookup sites, and pretty much all your gonna get is that.

    I find the gay dating scene a lot more furtive and gun shy than the straight side. I have met more battle damaged guys than i ever thought possible and once bitten, shy for life.........................Keithicon_neutral.gif
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    Feb 11, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    dream but don't hold your breath
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Feb 11, 2011 3:46 AM GMT
    Mikeylikesit saidSo...Am I realistic to think that one can still find an exclusive relationship in the high speed world of dating and cruise sites??. It seems like everyone wants a quick hook up, date several guys at once and now they just call everyone "friend". What has come of the gay dating scene become. ??? I have tried A4A and recently joined grindr. But they all seem to be same thing icon_twisted.gificon_evil.gif Am I still living in the pre internet world? or do I need to change my philosophy on dating??....thought??
    dude, never change who you are. there are guys out there like you. i think you just have to be patient.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 11, 2011 3:50 AM GMT
    I've really not had any success on sites that are more geared for hookups, even if many guys are on the same sites looking for relationships and dates.

    The greatest success I had was a friendship via a penpal site that turned sexual, and I met my previous boyfriend via a site that was definitely more geared to matching/dating.

    Still, I think the best way is to build a circle of gay friends. By being invited to their occasions, nights out and parties, they'll introduce you to a better quality gay man in general than you'll find on the net.
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    Feb 11, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    You're looking for love in the wrong places. Those sites are geared toward guys looking for hookups, as is Manhunt.

    If you want to go with an online dating site try Connexion, Eharmony and even contacting guys on this site who are like minded.

    One thing I've realized about online dating sites though- guys who use online dating are pretty shy and it takes longer to find a date on one of those sites rather than in the offline world. They're reluctant to meet in the real world, they write short one word messages back to you, or it even takes days for them to get back to you etc... online dating might draw the process out more than it should be.

    With offline dating you may have their number in an hour and can schedule a date or second date rather than waiting a couple of days or weeks.

    kangourou said
    Still, I think the best way is to build a circle of gay friends. By being invited to their occasions, nights out and parties, they'll introduce you to a better quality gay man in general than you'll find on the net.


    This.

    Join an gay organization or club with other like minded guys and make friends there. Friends will help their single friends out and can introduce you to another single guy who might be a good fit for you.

    It's almost like networking for a job- 80% of the good jobs aren't posted online and are found through word of mouth.

    Hope that helps.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 11, 2011 4:46 PM GMT
    I would have to say a4a and grindr are about the worst sites for anything but a hook up.


    Other than that, I've found some great platonic friends from online. I did start dating a guy from online about 8 yrs ago. It lasted 3 months. But we are best of friends now.

    I've dated guys that I've met online but the longest relationship has been about 6 months.
  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Feb 11, 2011 6:52 PM GMT
    Wow...thanks for all the replies guys!!....I just think its way too easy to find something better around the corner...lol With all the hook up sites. No one wants to commit to one person. They are afraid they will miss something better or bigger....LMAO, I see alot more of open relationships, cheating going on and dating several guys at once....I am at a loss....Question is, where to look to find right guy?? icon_evil.gificon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 11, 2011 7:07 PM GMT
    I think what we don`t have in the culture is a means of expressing our innermost desires for intimacy, that is, a website, or another method of communication that allows for a different kind of culture to be embraced.

    God knows there are plenty of gay guys, not to mention simply people, that want intimacy and find someone they can groove with, in most or all respects, but that we don`t reward this search enough by having its own culture.

    That would be the next step in internet dating (et al) is a website, or a space, where people who have these longings can be rewarded with people with the same desires for intimacy. It would be counter-hook-up, and expressly a mode of the search for shared values.

    By a technical shift, we create culture.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 11, 2011 7:12 PM GMT
    No matter what you do whether you find them online or in the real world. Plenty of guys out there want to fuck and run. Just keep searching and sifting through them till you find a good one.
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    Feb 12, 2011 12:12 AM GMT
    Celticmusl saidI would have to say a4a are about the worst sites for anything but a hook up.

    Ironically, my potential bf, I met off A4A. It's 2011, the year for miracles.! Anything can happen. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    patience ...until I meet Mr right....at least that's what I have to believe icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 12, 2011 1:04 AM GMT
    If most of your photos are of you in your underwear on websites, you're going to attract people wanting sex.