All alone...need altevatives!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2008 4:31 AM GMT
    So i just arrived at my parents house and i will be staying for about a week and a half. Sadly i have forgotten my dildo and in kind of an emergency. I was wondering if you people know of any household objects that i could use to substitute for my anal needs on my visit. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2008 4:56 AM GMT
    Check out the family fridge!!! icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2008 5:23 AM GMT
    your mom's dildo? it's in the bed side table, 2nd drawer from the top, behind "the davinci code"
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    Apr 01, 2008 8:13 AM GMT
    dude:
    your dad's got some kind of wierd looking tool and lude in the garage... rumage around and dont forget to clean first, and after
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    Apr 01, 2008 12:03 PM GMT
    i'd go for the drill, you'll l<3ve it

    power-drill-1.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2008 12:09 PM GMT
    ROFL!

    This thread earned you a spot on my hotlist. icon_lol.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 01, 2008 12:39 PM GMT
    What is an altevative? It sounds like you need an alternative...

    I'm sure you are handy in the kitchen... just jam a banana....icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 01, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
    Johnny_Sunshine saidi'd go for the drill, you'll l<3ve it


    Just don't use a drill press. My back is still hurting from that one.
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    Apr 01, 2008 11:15 PM GMT
    jms84 saidyour mom's dildo? it's in the bed side table, 2nd drawer from the top, behind "the davinci code"


    Oh my God,
    I love you.
  • sammie

    Posts: 15

    Apr 02, 2008 2:20 AM GMT
    Broom handle. Put a condom on it or you'll get splinters.
    ;)
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    Apr 02, 2008 2:33 AM GMT
    A new tube of toothpaste... the worst thing that will happen is your ass will be minty fresh.
  • sammie

    Posts: 15

    Apr 02, 2008 2:39 AM GMT
    Wine bottle
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Apr 02, 2008 4:17 AM GMT
    Taco.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 6:30 AM GMT
    Tennis racket handle.

    Yeah - it was that kind of night.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 2:38 PM GMT
    Jesus! These suggestions are mortifying! The broom is especially disturbing. If it has splinters, they will probably make their way through a latex condom... ack!
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    Apr 03, 2008 3:24 AM GMT
    Taper candle.

    Just don't try it while it's lit.
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    Apr 03, 2008 9:12 AM GMT
    Durex lube refill bottle. It's a little big but very much shaped like a penis. I don't know if all durex bottles are standard over the entire globe thoughicon_lol.gif
    Other than that just think creatively and visit the kitchen for a late night snack... Fruits and vegies are always easy alternatives.icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2008 9:14 AM GMT
    nv07 saidTaco.


    How the hell do you propose to get that in there!!!!????
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    Apr 03, 2008 5:26 PM GMT
    Or make a quick trip to your local store, and buy a cucumber!
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    Apr 03, 2008 6:08 PM GMT
    Hello everyone,

    I would like to thank you for all of the suggestions both useful and wierd (taco?). I would also like to tell you i have filled my needs with one of your suggestions, a broom. However do not worry because it has a plastic handle so no splinters for me. I have enjoyed seeeing how far i can get it in (I am up to 11"). Once again thanks everyone!
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    Apr 08, 2008 5:15 AM GMT
    Have a video?icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2008 4:46 AM GMT
    I think the real question is, why would someone as sizzlin as you be alone?
    You need to pop that broom handle from out your ass, and ride it to somewhere else.
  • vindog

    Posts: 1440

    Apr 22, 2008 6:08 AM GMT
    manhunt.net

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    Apr 22, 2008 8:22 AM GMT
    cucumber...pickle.....6 toothbrushes....the light bulb (just dont break it in there), the 6 batteries glued together, candles, ur dad's tools in the garage....shower curtain rod, ethernet cable? many many more! just call 1-800-house-sex and get a long list for only $2.99...thats right, u heard me...$2.99!!!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 22, 2008 10:29 AM GMT
    Just don't blush and give it away when Mom brings out the Cucumber salad icon_redface.gif