Guide to Grown-Up Interactions

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    Feb 12, 2011 8:20 PM GMT
    After reading this lovely post exposing the narcissism and social inexperience that sometimes accompanies youth...

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1376028

    ..I felt sorta compelled to start a list of "How to Interact with Grown-Ups" for the Gen Y set on here. Feel free to contribute.

    1) Grown Ups don't speak in internet memes. If you'd like your opinions to be taken seriously, consider using actual words. "Lulz," "teh," and "OMFG" aren't in spellcheck for a reason.

    1a) Learn to spell. Not understanding the difference between "their," "they're," and "there" really makes you look foolish.

    2) Grown Ups treat each other with respect, kindness, and empathy. Especially our elders.

    3) When someone a Grown Up doesn't find particularly attractive finds THEM attractive, they view it as a compliment, not as an insult.

    4) Grown Ups don't care about the size of your wiener or your bank account. Those are nice perks that comprise a complete package.

    5) Grown Ups feel a little sad for you when you elect to place age, race, education, financial status, or gym membership restrictions on whom you publicly state you'll befriend. You're missing out on some wonderful people and some fantastic life experiences when you do. Stating "no offense, I'm just not into oldies/that skin color/stupid people/poor people/fatties that's just what i prefer" doesn't make you look any less closed minded

    6) Grown Ups understand you came to age in an era where electronic communication is the norm, however, we maintain that serious topics aren't to be addressed in an e-mail, text, or tweet. Phone calls, or a face-to-face interaction, are best for serious topics.

    7) Grown Ups don't see age like you do. The difference between 22 and 12 is much more marked than that between 41 and 51. And for the record, very few of us would ever want to be 22 again.

    8 ) Some Grown Ups weren't able to come out at 12. Social mores didn't allow for such sexual freedom. Some lived as straight men, some were asexual for a while. And they wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. This doesn't make them "fake," or having "lived a lie." It is a contribution to who they are - as much as being an out gay 13 year old was to who you are.

    9) Grown Ups are big enough to agree to disagree, and to admit fault when it's appropriate. There's no such thing as the endless forum post or unresolved conflict.

    10) Grown Ups have a sense that the world may not cater to their every whim. In short, it's honestly not all about YOU.

    And, to make life a little easier, should you disagree with this post, you could:
    a) Send me a message stating as such and providing me with evidence as to why your opinion differs from mine. I'll hear you out.
    b) Go the easy route and copy/paste one of the following into your response
    ** wut evr ur old n dumb
    ** [ insert thread hijacking sentence here that diverges from the original post and makes the thread about you instead ]
    ** I don't do any of that and I'm Generation Y. We're not all like that and we really don't like it when people say this about us. [ Optional personal anecdote about your ancient 44 year old friend, or the old gay man who you were nice to on the bus this morning ]

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    Feb 12, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    Bulldog1974 said
    And, to make life a little easier, should you disagree with this post, you could:
    a) Send me a message stating as such and providing me with evidence as to why your opinion differs from mine.



    Can't we simply agree to disagree like point #9 states
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    Feb 12, 2011 8:56 PM GMT
    tbf the OP in that thread is a twatish tool.
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    Feb 12, 2011 9:20 PM GMT
    OP first sentence referring to "youth" suggests that "Grown Up" refers to chronological age. I think it should refer to maturity or lack thereof, whatever the age of the person. On RJ, in particular, I have seen many cases where guys in their 20s display maturity, intelligence, wisdom, and courtesy, while some guys much older completely lack these basic traits.
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    Feb 12, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    My so many threads all about the attention-seeker. Giving him all this attention is just the way to show him attention-seking only gets him lots and lots of attention.

    Us older guys are so much smarter than any 22 year old.


    icon_lol.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2011 11:25 PM GMT
    cold said gym membershi...


    I only date guys with unlimited state-wide facility access plans =s
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    Feb 12, 2011 11:42 PM GMT
    Shit, I thought the OP was kinda right on the money and was referring more about 'grown' ups than about age....there is a vast diff, right?

    signed.......Dino the Dinosaur...............................Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Feb 13, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    cold said
    Well as a 22 year old, at least it's nice to know that you haven't prejudged me according to age, race, education, financial status, or gym membershi... Wait a second...


    Were you prejudged? Nope.

    Did you have an emotional response to a thread, resulting in a reply that implies I am an alienated loner? Did you state my post was lacking significance or meaning, thus presenting your thoughts in a disrespectful manner? In doing so, did you confirm a number of my opinions about younger folks? You sure did.

    Socal & Sitllsurchin--good points. I will concede that it's not always about chronological age. In my personal experience, nonetheless, chronological age is often tied to more immature behavior. Not an absolute, but a trend.
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    Feb 13, 2011 3:40 AM GMT
    I don't think anybody on this site knows what a troll is...
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    Feb 13, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    Gaydar saidI don't think anybody on this site knows what a troll is...


    It's more complex that that. A successful troll thread becomes a vehicle for lively message board discourse. I had a blast on that thread talking about Mean Girls and other tangential crap. It's where everyone was posting and reading. There are many dynamics at play.
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    Feb 13, 2011 3:46 AM GMT
    See, that's how you're suppose to react to troll threads. Not get upset over em!

    Kudos to you. And our Mean Girl friendz.
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    Feb 13, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    Are you basing this off of fact or opinion? I find being "grown up" a combination of several things like age, maturity, personality and physical appearance along with the ability to be adaptable. That's very important to being a grown up in my opinion. Those are just the basic things and I'm sure there are more.

    I would highly disagree with you on the first two points (for starters) for the simple fact that with time comes change and the use of internet changes everyday in terms of lingo plus you can't really say that because someone didn't use the correct form of grammar makes them look foolish. You are forgetting the diversity of people on the internet and various backgrounds of people and assuming English is their first language.

    I think the only legitimate thing on the checklist is # 9. The rest seem opinionated and open to flaws.
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    Feb 13, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    SleepyFisherman saidIf I can't make your Hot List, please put me on your Dinosaur List.

    Photobucket


    the sky blue sneaks on the T-Rex are fierce
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    Feb 13, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    ah, another good thread with chuckles for free....thanks migs....icon_lol.gif
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Feb 13, 2011 5:00 AM GMT
    Well, sometimes there are those who do behave as our grand children, but then, if we have the hots for them, we may actually defend such childishness and immaturity. icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 13, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    conservativejock saidWell, sometimes there are those who do behave as our grand children, but then, if we have the hots for them, we may actually defend such childishness and immaturity. icon_cool.gif


    but of course we will.........................i agree.................icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 13, 2011 5:55 AM GMT
    Bulldog1974 saidAfter reading this lovely post exposing the narcissism and social inexperience that sometimes accompanies youth...
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1376028
    [...]

    I think 99% of the guys that posted in that thread missed the point. It was a troll thread. It was created to incite a reaction, and you all fell for it.. hook, line, and sinker. If you look at the guy's posting history, all his threads are pretty much similar in nature. I doubt any of it was even real. If you don't like what he posts, then click the ignore button or utilize some self-control by not replying in his threads.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet)
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    Feb 13, 2011 12:01 PM GMT
    Sometimes I cant wait to just get old and be treated like a "grown up". But I feel that being grown up as a young person is kind of better... so I wont bother myself with that thought any longer.
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    Feb 13, 2011 1:21 PM GMT
    UpperCanadian saidMy so many threads all about the attention-seeker. Giving him all this attention is just the way to show him attention-seking only gets him lots and lots of attention.

    Us older guys are so much smarter than any 22 year old.


    icon_lol.gif


    There are some 40+ guys out there who are dumb as bricks.
    Not that my generation is any better, but the point is that every generation has enough morons to go around.
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    Feb 13, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    SleepyFisherman saidIf I can't make your Hot List, please put me on your Dinosaur List.

    Photobucket


    the sky blue sneaks on the T-Rex are fierce
    I'm quite fond of the purple uggs on the hockeysaurus.
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    Feb 13, 2011 1:33 PM GMT
    AndrewDavidAlexander said
    Ariodante said
    SleepyFisherman saidIf I can't make your Hot List, please put me on your Dinosaur List.

    Photobucket


    the sky blue sneaks on the T-Rex are fierce
    I'm quite fond of the purple uggs on the hockeysaurus.


    I think Uggs should be banned!!
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    Feb 13, 2011 1:46 PM GMT
    40PPS said
    AndrewDavidAlexander said
    Ariodante said
    SleepyFisherman saidIf I can't make your Hot List, please put me on your Dinosaur List.

    Photobucket


    the sky blue sneaks on the T-Rex are fierce
    I'm quite fond of the purple uggs on the hockeysaurus.


    I think Uggs should be banned!!


    EXCUSE YOU

    http://tinyurl.com/2b6hfsu
    The riveted pair on the top left are amazing, the brown fringed ones on the bottom right are adorable, and the cashmere pair at the very bottom are to die for.
    The rest can be burned.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2011 1:47 PM GMT
    You know I believe that maturity and good social graces is what makes someone a 'grown up'

    I've seen a number of adults act like complete twats and young teenagers with maturity far beyond their years.

    Basically its how we deal with each in society that makes being a 'grown up' and these days, I see grown ups and gen Y crowd flushing each other down the toilet.

    Find a common ground and learn to respect each generation for what they are and teach other insights that helps for a better understanding.
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    Feb 13, 2011 3:02 PM GMT
    Well, Fearthefall is truly a polarising member of this site... to put it nicely. I try to ignore the guy as much as I can.

    I found I agreed with a lot of what you defined as polite social interactions, but once I got to the end and saw the snarky 'repost' comments, that sent up a red flag about this thread being slightly hostile and divisive from the start. Then the way you responded to cold's comment further shot down your credibility and showed you don't practice what you preach. icon_rolleyes.gif

    By the way, 1974 isn't too far away from the oldest Gen Y-ers; they were born in 1978, so a lot of them are actually grown-ups now. Courtesy and manners don't depend on age, but they do depend on maturity.

    I'm going to be 22 on Saturday. Pity I'm not exactly welcome in this thread icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 13, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    UpperCanadian saidMy so many threads all about the attention-seeker. Giving him all this attention is just the way to show him attention-seking only gets him lots and lots of attention.

    Us older guys are so much smarter than any 22 year old.


    icon_lol.gif




    Your not smarter than a 5th grader.....hmmmmm

    Ignorance is bliss apparently.