What do you guys think about this?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2008 7:20 PM GMT
    What's up guys... I'm curious as to your thoughts on my "straight" friend..

    So this morning on my break from classes I met up with my friend who I have had a thing for for awhile now. Anyway, he's your typical jock type... big guy, played sports in high school, huge NFL fan, all that good stuff. However, over the past 4 years of getting to know him I've had my suspicions about him.

    So back to my story, while we are sitting at a table in the library he asks me if I have any homework to do and I say no. He then pulls out his phone and tells me that if i'm bored I can look at his pictures from the last Bears game he went to back in Nov. and some from our friends he went to see at school not too long ago. So i'm browsing through the pictures and what pops up? Two guys kissing. I then ask him what the hell is this on your phone for and he said calm as could be that it was from some HBO show called Oz. I also came across a photo of some guy changing in the locker room and I asked him about that and he said that "it was funny".

    Does this just confirm my suspicions? He obviously knew what he took pictures of with his phone and that he wanted me to see them.

    Your thoughts?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2008 7:56 PM GMT
    He may be bi- curious or gay curious and this is his way of "testing" the waters with a guy he feels comfortable with. Kind of clever actually.

    After more than 35 years of being attracted to men, there is one thing I have learned, male sexuality is very complex and unpredictable. There are a lot more men that are at the very least curious about sex with another guy then I used to think. The number that are both physically and emotionally attracted to the same sex is a much smaller number.
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    Apr 01, 2008 8:01 PM GMT
    That reminds me of a time when a co-worker was showing me pictures of his wife on his phone when I came across a naked one of him! LOL.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Apr 01, 2008 10:29 PM GMT
    jbedwards saidHe may be bi- curious or gay curious and this is his way of "testing" the waters with a guy he feels comfortable with. Kind of clever actually.


    I agree. Does he know about you Hurley999? You should get a set of slightly more explicit pics and get his opinion of them,lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2008 10:44 PM GMT
    Never heard of a straight guy keeping photos of two guys kissing or a photo of some guy changing his cloths. Even for humor. Seems odd. Yeah I'd be thinking something was up.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2008 10:46 PM GMT
    swimbikerun said[quote][cite]jbedwards said[/cite]He may be bi- curious or gay curious and this is his way of "testing" the waters with a guy he feels comfortable with. Kind of clever actually.


    I agree. Does he know about you Hurley999? You should get a set of slightly more explicit pics and get his opinion of them,lol[/quote]

    Thats not a bad idea. I was trying to think of something like that as well. Maybe put a fag rag in his backpack or send him some gay porn and see if he ever mentions it or check to see if he kept it hidden some place. LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 3:02 AM GMT
    I'd go gay for you, Hurley.

    uh, or whatever...

    p.s. none if my straight friends have naked guys or guys kissing on their phones. In fact, they'd be grossed out by the thought of having pics like that. That's why they're straight...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 02, 2008 3:06 AM GMT
    I'd be suspicious, but don't think its automatic. That might be wishful thinking on your part.

    I agree with some of the above.. it might just be curiosity or just having a pic like that. I know it sounds fishy, but I'd watch for other signs to confirm.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 3:08 AM GMT
    Show him the pics on your phone ... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 3:59 AM GMT
    It's really confusing... I tried telling him a while ago back in high school that I might be confused because the girl I was seeing at the time that I liked a lot completly fucked me over ( Which was a lie, ha) and he said something about the girl and that I was just falling for the wrong girls. Aside from that he's heard through the grapevine that I could possibly be a homo but he doesn't believe it.

    As for the more 'risque' pictures. I have had them up back when i thought myspace was my life lol. Anyway, on quite a few of them he has complemented my body in a gay flirty matter... for example one from him reads

    "theres no way u eat steak and shake and keep that kind of bod.
    xxoo call me~ "

  • duglyduckling

    Posts: 279

    Apr 02, 2008 4:07 AM GMT
    he is clearly hitting on you. if your gaydar tells you something, then you know what? you're probably right!
  • ep83

    Posts: 144

    Apr 02, 2008 4:30 AM GMT
    I've been there, Hurley. There was a friend I had a thing for, including many mixed and not so mixed signals going both ways. E.g. using me as a prop for two-people-one-chair public displays he hates, when there was a girl on his other side he could have used; he got bumped in a bar and asked if I had grabbed his ass, I said no, then did and asked him if he felt better, he says yes. There are more examples, but it gives you an idea and this is your thread not mine.

    The point I'm trying to make is this: there's really no way to know without taking a risk. All the clues, innuendo, and hypothesis will still leave you uncertain. I kept meaning to say something, I felt that as my friend he deserved to know how I felt, even if I was wrong. I never quite got the guts to do it, and the times I came close other people interfered and ruined the chance.

    There three basic outcomes in a situation like this: you could complicate a friendship; you might be right; you might be wrong but it could strengthen the relationship because of your candor. You really have to think about how things could turn out, weighing all the outcomes and their probabilities. But I will tell you from my experience, I strongly regret not telling him, no matter what the outcome would have been.

    Best of luck to you, it's a tough spot to be in but I'm sure you'll figure out the right thing to do.

    (And I agree, it sounds like he is definitely hitting on you or at least testing you).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 3:28 PM GMT
    Perhaps I am missing something, but I think you're looking at this wrong Hurley999.

    You haven't come out to him, but have shown signs that you might be gay. Could it be that he is baiting you with gay imagery in order to see how you react, and maybe draw the truth out of you?

    I think your "thing" for him has you assessing this situation with a heavy dose of wishful thinking, when in reality he is probably straight but no longer wants to be confused by your orientation or even your intentions. You might be giving him a vibe that he wants to understand point blank.

    I think some open honest talk is in order before this gets ugly. Trust me, I was in your position much earlier in my life and this sounds eerily familiar.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 3:32 PM GMT
    I concur with what Rugger just added.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 3:33 PM GMT
    i've come across three threads in a row this morning about gay men crushing on their straight friends...

    here's a fucking idea:

    DATE GAY MEN
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 3:44 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidi've come across three threads in a row this morning about gay men crushing on their straight friends...
    here's a fucking idea:
    DATE GAY MEN


    Well FUCK YOU and YOUR FUCKING IDEA.
    Oh, what time do I pick you up from Dubai Airport?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 3:46 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidi've come across three threads in a row this morning about gay men crushing on their straight friends...

    here's a fucking idea:

    DATE GAY MEN


    cheers to that. You won't find me chasing str8 guys, EVER. Sure they are cute to look at, flirt with, watch in guys gone wild videos (oops). But they are str8. Plus, I am not up for teaching a lesson in gay sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 4:11 PM GMT
    this question has been asked hundreds of times within everyones head. but fact is he might ust be comfortable around you. my straight friends still play grab ass but i know they aren't interested. they're treating me the same way they treated me when they thought i was straight. it's just what they do.


    when you think about coming out, is he one of the first people you intend to tell? is he someone you think would be able to help you throughout that process? cuz figuring that out could be really helpful. if he's straight and gonna be there to back you up great, if he's gay too then even better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2008 4:21 PM GMT
    XRuggerATX saidPerhaps I am missing something, but I think you're looking at this wrong Hurley999.

    You haven't come out to him, but have shown signs that you might be gay. Could it be that he is baiting you with gay imagery in order to see how you react, and maybe draw the truth out of you?

    I think your "thing" for him has you assessing this situation with a heavy dose of wishful thinking, when in reality he is probably straight but no longer wants to be confused by your orientation or even your intentions. You might be giving him a vibe that he wants to understand point blank.

    I think some open honest talk is in order before this gets ugly. Trust me, I was in your position much earlier in my life and this sounds eerily familiar.


    This MIGHT be true, but the fact that his friend seems to be making himself come off "gay" leads me to believe that this is not the case.

    Any normal person would just say pro gay statements like "I don't have any problem with gay people," etc. I haven't known one yet that gives the impression that their sexuality might be questionable, unless it in face was.
  • Kirby_Atwood

    Posts: 42

    Apr 02, 2008 4:34 PM GMT
    Quite possibly is that he is interested into you? He might show that he has some homo orientation but a littel bit scared to tell you directly. Since he has already displayed some gay things, he might think it could be cool to share with you. On one hand, tell you that he is gay or possibly bi, and on the other hand, he is definately interestd into you.

    So i guess you might try same thing with him, and it will be kind of "common"( although not really common for str8 guys)for him, and you see what goes on afterwards?