Coming Out in Indiana

  • DiggityD2713

    Posts: 9

    Feb 15, 2011 7:57 PM GMT
    My name is Dave, 23, and I live in Indiana. Im not exactly sure when I realized I was gay, but I distincly remember being 10 or 11 and getting upset with a friend for making fun of a more feminine gay man for crying on TV. I asked him would he hate me if I was gay? It was at the time a truly hypothetical question but since then it has resonated in me. I really definetly realized I was gay about three years ago.When I would make love to my (now ex) girlfriend and she would cum twice or three times and I wouldn't get beyond maybe the pre-cum phase. It felt good, but I wasn't entirely turned on. Then I began following bodybuilders, really for the fitness appreciation at first but I realized soon that I my eyes were drawn..ya know...hehehe. Well since then I have remained single (minus the occasional fling) and I was thinking about just being straight (no pun intended) with my friends and family. Some of them I have grown up with my whole life, yet they are still pretty biggoted and homophobic to average gay guy they see at a bar. Its not that I am afraid of being ostracized, it might just really mess up the friendship by bringing in the question of "what's Dave's real intentions?" For all I know they might already suspect. Anyway seeing as how 99% of you manly men on here are already comfortable with yourselves you've probably already gone through this at one time or another, I just want advice. If nothing else please just tell me your story so i dont feel so goddamn alone all the time, I just want some perspective from someone who understands. Thank you
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    Feb 15, 2011 8:58 PM GMT
    Have you come out to anyone yet? Pick a friend or family member who you think would be most understanding and start with them. Don't rush till you're ready. Tell that person there is something you want to share with them- and be very direct. Tell them you're gay. It can be really hard to do- it was for me, but it will feel like a weight lifted off your shoulder.

    Hopefully, you'll get a positive reaction from that person and then you'll have experience talking about it and be ready for whomever you choose to tell next. Do it on your own schedule, but definitely push yourself a bit. You'll feel better in the end.

    Each time I told a straight male friend, I'd always let them ask me questions. Invariably they'll ask how long you've known, how did you feel when your were sexual with your past gfs. Some of my friends surprised me with the detailed questions- especially about sex. They were just curious and it told me they were comfortable. I've never had a negative reaction from anyone- maybe a little surprise, but that's it.

    Good luck to you and be strong!