So stupid and so worried.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2011 4:57 AM GMT
    I've been seeing a guy for almost 8 months now and I've been completely faithful, but last weekend I got fairly drunk and was hanging with a friend....one thing led to another and I had sex with him. He used protection and penetrated me, and later I penetrated him but without protection (completely stupid I know).
    Aside from feeling like shoooting myself in the head everyday since for cheating on my boyfriend, I was freaking out about catching and STD. He assured me that he was negative and I believed him, but still wanted to be sure. So a couple of days after having sex with my friend I went and got tested (results would take a week). They called me today and said I tested positive for Chlamydia.

    My bf and I have unprotected sex, but he always tops cos he's not ready to bottom. I hadn't been tested since I had been with him until now, but just before we started dating I had an STD test that was negative for anything.

    I had sex with my boy friend 3 days ago - he gave me oral briefly and then topped me. I'm absolutely terrified that he will have caught Chlamydia off me and I don't know what to do.
    I'm wondering if it is less likely for him to catch it off me because he wasn't receiving? I'm too scared to tell him for obvious reasons... I'm getting the antibiotics tomorrow.
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    Feb 16, 2011 7:25 AM GMT
    You need to tell both of them about your diagnosis. You don't know which of them infected you, but both have been exposed. If your bf is infected, he WILL reinfect you unless he gets treatment.
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    Feb 16, 2011 7:36 AM GMT
    Lolz.....icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 16, 2011 7:36 AM GMT
    You seriously need to tell him. You fucked up, now accept the consequences. Chlamydia is an easily curable STD, but if it is left untreated, it can lead to more serious complications. So if you have one shred of humanity in you, you will tell your boyfriend immediately. You need to tell your friend too. It is very very likely that they both now have it.

    It seems like you are hoping that it is not likely your boyfriend caught the Chlamydia because he is the top and that you won't have to tell him, but sorry to burst your naive bubble, it is very likely that he caught it, so you need to tell him. Plus there is the chance that he gave it to you, so you need to tell your friend too. Everyone needs to get tested and treated. Do this immediately
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    Feb 16, 2011 8:06 AM GMT
    KSUOWL pretty much summed it up.

    WOW! Well for starters you should learn how to control your drinking and know your limit. Such a rookie move there and a tired and played out scene to boot of "guy gets drunk and does something foolish." Oh well I guess.

    Man up and own up to your faults. What's done is done I guess but that's no reason you should pull a douche move and keep it a secret. That's what got you in trouble in the first place. Hopefully you'll learn to exercise self-control and not drinking or your dick get the best of you.
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    Feb 16, 2011 8:41 AM GMT
    KSUOWL saidYou seriously need to tell him. You fucked up, now accept the consequences. Chlamydia is an easily curable STD, but if it is left untreated, it can lead to more serious complications. So if you have one shred of humanity in you, you will tell your boyfriend immediately. You need to tell your friend too. It is very very likely that they both now have it.

    It seems like you are hoping that it is not likely your boyfriend caught the Chlamydia because he is the top and that you won't have to tell him, but sorry to burst your naive bubble, it is very likely that he caught it, so you need to tell him. Plus there is the chance that he gave it to you, so you need to tell your friend too. Everyone needs to get tested and treated. Do this immediately


    QFT

    Do not be this

    head_up_ass.gif
  • twentyfourhou...

    Posts: 243

    Feb 16, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    Others may have already mentioned this. Oral sex also comes with risk - not only herpes, gonorrhea, HPV (oral warts), syphilis, but chlamydia and others as well. In fact, some men can develop "drip like" symptoms just from receiving oral from the countless bacteria that are in the mouth. And receiving oral sex from multiple guys (over a period of time) just increases the odds.
    Like someone else already mentioned, at this point it is also possible that you got this infection from your BF not the hook-up. Regardless, both parties must be told. BTW - you do realize that if you got chlamydia, you could have also become infected with HIV (in addition to the other stuff) and sometimes thinks like syphillis take a few weeks for the test to become positive.
    All this should be discussed with your health care provider.
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    Feb 16, 2011 3:46 PM GMT
    KSUOWL saidYou seriously need to tell him. You fucked up, now accept the consequences. Chlamydia is an easily curable STD, but if it is left untreated, it can lead to more serious complications. So if you have one shred of humanity in you, you will tell your boyfriend immediately. You need to tell your friend too. It is very very likely that they both now have it.

    It seems like you are hoping that it is not likely your boyfriend caught the Chlamydia because he is the top and that you won't have to tell him, but sorry to burst your naive bubble, it is very likely that he caught it, so you need to tell him. Plus there is the chance that he gave it to you, so you need to tell your friend too. Everyone needs to get tested and treated. Do this immediately


    Harsh but very true
  • Syphon

    Posts: 366

    Feb 16, 2011 3:55 PM GMT
    You need to tell him the truth and deal with the consequences. Chlamydia is no big deal if it's treated, count your lucky stars it's not HIV. Then again, you should be tested at 3 months to determine your HIV status... =/

    Good luck.
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    Feb 16, 2011 3:56 PM GMT


    The cheating was stupid, the unprotected sex was worse, but the fact you then proceeded to have unprotected sex with your boyfriend is beyond belief.

    You may now comfort yourself by assuming that you, your friend and now your boyfriend are all HIV+ until you can prove otherwise.

    Great work.
  • twentyfourhou...

    Posts: 243

    Feb 16, 2011 4:25 PM GMT
    ..........................and this is part of the reason why communicable diseases such as HIV are spreading rapidly................................and this is the reason that a person should treat any sexual encounter (outside of exclusive relationships but even this does not guarantee as we just learned) as if they have any one or combination of the following; HIV, Hepatitis A, B, C, gonorrhea, chlamydia, genital herpes, warts, syphilis, LGV, ..........kinds sucks but it is the reality.
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    Feb 16, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    OK....
    You were that drunk!!!... Why? Further: Why is it that drinking/escaping is a dynamic for you.

    Underneath the stir, of the attention you are getting for your confession (bravo; nonetheless), is how you've decided to hold yourself up in this part of your life. Your choices reflect your values around your personal integrity.

    I don't know if this is right - but someone said to me once that; self image is how you think others see you, and self esteem is how you see yourself. I'd say this is a self esteem issue, even though it seems to be about 'others'. There is such a thing as "life ruining" drunk. We choose it when we really really need to re-direct our energies. We create pain elsewhere in our lives, so as to avoid some aspect of our life that's an unknown abyss of change...or super tough discipline...whatever it is: alcohol is the tool, and the people you are using as props are actually hurt, and this is not a dress rehearsal.

    You won't behave like this, when you do what you love, and fill your life with what you love; to the extent that you embody the courage of your convictions without hesitation. When someone says "Be True To Yourself"; this is why we are compelled to do that, so we can live sane.

    Bottom Line: When your alcohol meter goes up this high. Your "I'm living in a fantasy world" meter is usually right up there too.

    Notice how your choices move you...Now: go another direction.
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    Feb 16, 2011 5:03 PM GMT
    Break up with your bf now and find a new one.

    You could tell him now. But he will probably just break up with you snyway. So save your the embarrassment and just leave.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Feb 16, 2011 5:24 PM GMT
    The only 'obvious reason" for you not to tell him is that you're deciding once again that what you want and how you feel is so much more important than your 'boyfriend'. WTF? Dude! With adulthood comes the following harsh realities:

    1. Responsibility for your actions;
    2. Obligation to put others ahead of yourself in matters concerning health and well being for which your bear some responsibility (see above);
    3. Dignity and Respect for all others, regardless of how it may humble, embarrass or inconvenience you;
    4. Honesty and Integrity in your personal and professional relationships.

    If you're old enough to get drunk and have unprotected sex, you are now officially an adult. Get cracking on items one through four and hope that you grow sufficiently to not have to ask what to do, ever again.

    You posted this at three minutes of midnight, last night. If you haven't addressed this with both men by four minutes of midnight tonight, frankly, you should be slapped until you need more than antibiotics to heal you!

    Stop being a child and a coward and a failure as a man. Sorry to be so harsh, but this is not a game any longer, this is reality and you need to step up, course correct, and take your lumps.
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    Feb 16, 2011 5:27 PM GMT
    You gotta tell your guy. End of discussion. Sorry if that's difficult, but his health outweighs your discomfort. Be a man, and tell him. Where your relationship goes after that I can't guess. But you can't endanger his health. Do it NOW!
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Feb 16, 2011 5:57 PM GMT
    Echoing what everyone else said, but I want to emphasize that you need to tell them BOTH.
    Whomever you hooked with also up with needs to know the result so that he can get treated - and so he can tell anyone else he had sex with and they can get treated (which, I'm guessing has been at least a few).
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    Feb 16, 2011 6:27 PM GMT
    People make mistakes, and you made one which could have turned out to be one of the worst. I won't judge you for being human. Thank your lucky stars, learn from your transgression, and move on. You need to confront the issue head-on, inform the parties involved, take full responsibility for your action, and take care of your STD immediately.
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    Feb 16, 2011 6:27 PM GMT
    Thank you guys for your responses....and I know how stupid it was and that I need to grow up etc. I can't explain what happened for me to allow myself to get in that position, I don't want to use alcohol as an excuse.

    Anyway, met up with the guy I cheated with and he got tested around the same time I did and even showed me his results - negative for anything. So it didn't come from him...

    Clinic people told me that it was mild (and it was negative for HIV and anything else) and I've probably had it dormant for a little while, so either it's been in my system for some time or it came from my BF. I'm talking to him today.
    Tough lesson, but I guess I deserve it.
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    Feb 16, 2011 6:37 PM GMT
    sss87 saidThank you guys for your responses....and I know how stupid it was and that I need to grow up etc. I can't explain what happened for me to allow myself to get in that position, I don't want to use alcohol as an excuse.

    Anyway, met up with the guy I cheated with and he got tested around the same time I did and even showed me his results - negative for anything. So it didn't come from him...

    Clinic people told me that it was mild (and it was negative for HIV and anything else) and I've probably had it dormant for a little while, so either it's been in my system for some time or it came from my BF. I'm talking to him today.
    Tough lesson, but I guess I deserve it.


    Just make sure you are honest with your BF and find out where the STD came from. And make sure you get tested again in 3 months! Because HIV is often not detectable during that 3 month window, so a negative result after 3 months will give you reasonable assurance that you are clean. You don't want to think you are clean now and just spread the HIV all over the world and leave it untreated so please get tested again. And be careful and learn from this!