Oh God. After these tame stories, I'm embarrassed to tell mine. Lol.
Two of them in college, both with the same cause: loud music in the headphones tends to make me forget to keep my monologue internal.
1. There was a guy at the gym who was lifting, and although I could tell he had a great body, he had those severe features that could be either gorgous or kind of off-putting up close. So I kept checking him out, trying to figure out if he was cute or not. About 20 minutes later, I'm walking down one of the aisles, futzing with my (dare I say it?) WALKMAN (anyone under 23, just google it) and practically run right into this guy. I look up … we lock eyes … "cute." Then I realize I'd actually said it ... out loud … while looking directly at him … about a foot away from his face. Then I'm sure my face twisted into a mix of shock and horror, I sat down on the bench right next to me, and looked at the floor while he passed. He kept looking back at me, but I was too mortified to find out if he was interested or just freaked out. Lol.
2. I love running. I love singing. I love dancing. If a song I love comes on while I'm running, I kind of put them all together. I'm sure to everyone on the indoor track, it's a bizarre spectacle, but … considering I used to run a 4:15 mile … I could give a crap what they thought. I was having fun, dammit. So, after one of my sing/dance/runs, I go to stretch out. At this point I was damn flexible, so was in the full splits with my elbows down to the floor. This weird guy comes past with the GIRLIEST run I've ever seen … elbows pinned to his sides, wrists flopping around … and he kind of scoffs at me. I figured I just was imagining things, and kept stretching. Lap 2, he does the same thing. Finally, when he comes around for lap 3, I meant to say under my breath, "YOU RUN LIKE A GIRL." Apparently I said it really loudly, because the 10 people around me started laughing REALLY hard, he got this super embarrassed look on his face, and instead of looping around the track, he just kept running right through the front doors. Must've been even more embarrassing coming from someone in a full split. :-P
3. My last story was less than a month ago. All the benches were taken, so I was doing chest press with dumbbells on an exercise ball. I was on my heaviest set, and instead of using my knees to prop up the weights one at a time, I did them both pretty rapidly … and all my weight went backward … on a exercise ball. So I started flipping backward, and noticed there was a preacher curl bar directly behind me. Shit. So I went into a handstand and did half a cartwheel to the side to avoid hitting it. I didn't even KNOW I was capable of that much coordination. I go to stand up, and not one single person was even looking at me. I was a little annoyed, actually. I wanted credit for my acrobatics. Or at least a good laugh. Oh well. I was amused.