first date!

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  Feb 17, 2011 4:06 AM GMT

  So I met this guy a few weeks ago who seems very cool. I asked him out for a dinner on friday. I am excited! my first date with a guy!
  
  It's friday and I have no idea where to take him. Both of us are very closeted and havent been on a date with a guy. Suggestions?
  
  Am I supposed to hold doors and pull out chair for him?

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  Feb 17, 2011 5:39 AM GMT

  Generally, if it's a first date with someone you don't know (or someone you trust doesn't know) then you should go someplace public to be safe.
  Since you're closeted I don't know if you want to take my advice. Maybe go somewhere out of the way so neither of you will be recognized by anyone you know.
  
  You're dating a guy, not a lady, but manners still count. You don't have to pull out his chair or stand up when he stands. If you get to the door before him, then opening it for him is polite.
  
  Edit: I have a brilliant idea! Since you're both closeted you should go to a costume party. Both your faces will be hidden by masks and you won't have any problem with being discovered while on your date.

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  Feb 17, 2011 1:45 PM GMT

  Ermine,
  
  lol. no it's not that bad. We are both comfortable with our sexuality. it's just we havent told a lot of people about it yet. He seems like a private guy too, just like me.
  
  Thanks for the other pointers. The date is tomorrow and I still dont know where we are doing to eat at. I am probably going to pick one of my favorite restaurants in the area and hope he likes it.

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  Feb 17, 2011 1:57 PM GMT

  Keep it warm and casual.
  
  

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  Feb 17, 2011 3:04 PM GMT

  Keep it real, stay away from mindgames, be transparent. Games are for kids, and no one really wins in them.

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  Feb 17, 2011 3:08 PM GMT

  Advaya saidSo I met this guy a few weeks ago who seems very cool. I asked him out for a dinner on friday. I am excited! my first date with a guy!
  
  It's friday and I have no idea where to take him. Both of us are very closeted and havent been on a date with a guy. Suggestions?
  
  Am I supposed to hold doors and pull out chair for him?

  
  
  
  I wouldn't worry too much. I'd say go somewhere that you are comfortable. Lots of straight guys go out to dinner all the time. My dad goes out to dinner a lot with guys for business meetings 3 nights a week. Entertaining is part of what he does. I doubt if you and him are just sitting at a table, people won't assume anything in either direction... Now if you do the whole 'Lady & the Tramp' thing with your pasta or sit on the same side of a booth, then maybee.... lol
  
  
  Have fun!
  
  
  

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  Feb 17, 2011 4:08 PM GMT

  Definitely pick a nice quiet restaurant for dinner. I would keep it casual so you can both remain comfortable. Perhaps after dinner and conversation, if things are going well, you can suggest walking to an ice cream parlor or some other place for some dessert and/or a cup of coffee. Keeping the public area that you're both comfortable with.
  
  I'd keep the conversation on a casual level with exploration in mind, find out more about this guy and share with him about you. Get to know him. First dates are all about getting to know the other person. I'd avoid sex talk and instead focus on what you each enjoy regarding activities, work, reading, movies, etc.
  
  Make yourself look good, after all, first impressions can never be changed. Do all the things your mother taught you for being polite and attentive.
  
  At the end of the night, give him a hug and let him know if you feel a second date would work. Be honest if you're not feeling it, don't have to be rude but be honest. Not everyone is going to be 'the one'.

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  Feb 17, 2011 5:13 PM GMT

  Definitely don't just go to a movie. On my first date with a guy, he took us to see Piranhas 3D (which blew serious ass btw) and we couldn't even really talk or anything during it. Needless to say it sucked! Go to dinner and grab a drink afterward. That will give you plenty of time to talk and get to know each other.

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  Feb 18, 2011 4:19 AM GMT

  I apologize about the misunderstanding.
  Go have fun, somewhere public where the two of you can talk.
  Dinner or coffee are usually pretty reliable options.
  Movies, a concert, or a comedy club are terrible first dates.
  
  You want to be able to talk to your date and see if there is anything there between the two of you.
  If you think of your love life like a job, then the first date is the interview (but relax and have fun). When you first start dating, it's a probationary period when you see if the two of you are a match.
  
  As far as the restaurant goes, pick someplace fun and casual. Some people are nervous on first dates, so you don't want to make anyone more nervous by going someplace too formal or stuffy. Someplace with loud music or other distractions (like a sports bar) is not a great idea either.

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  Feb 18, 2011 4:24 AM GMT

  Congrats on your first date , my advice to you is just be yourself and go somewhere that you're comfortable.
  
  Did you ask him any questions to kinda plan this thing out like what kind of food he likes? I'm sure if you keep it casual things will go smoothly. Keep us posted and have a great time

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  Feb 18, 2011 4:34 AM GMT

  wish you the best! have fun!

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  Feb 18, 2011 4:36 AM GMT

  KSUOWL saidDefinitely don't just go to a movie. On my first date with a guy, he took us to see Piranhas 3D (which blew serious ass btw) and we couldn't even really talk or anything during it. Needless to say it sucked! Go to dinner and grab a drink afterward. That will give you plenty of time to talk and get to know each other.

  
  
  hey you said you wanted to see that movie! THATS why i took you too it!

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  Feb 19, 2011 10:32 PM GMT

  alright guys, first, thanks for all your help.
  
  I picked a nice italian restaurant for dinner. The ambiance was very nice and it was a quiet place which made talking easy. Food was not as good as what I had hoped, but it wasnt terrible either.
  
  Here's the sad part: when I asked him out I had told him that we should meet irrespective of whether he likes me romantically or not. I went in hoping the date will unravel itself into one thing or another. Unfortunately, I am looking for a serious relationship, but he is not. He does not want to be in a relationship with a guy. But he is a good guy, nice to talk to, smart, and can be a a good friend.
  
  Thanks again. My first date was not as exciting as what I had hoped unfortunately. oh well.

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  Feb 19, 2011 11:41 PM GMT

  ah, but you have started the relationship the way they are meant to start...by being friends....don't discount that things might not progress just because you didn't fuck him in the spaghetti on the table. stick with him and nurture the friendship...that is how friends become lovers,,,,and they are much more devoted than fuck buddies.................Keith

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  Feb 19, 2011 11:44 PM GMT

  stilsurchin saidah, but you have started the relationship the way they are meant to start...by being friends....don't discount that things might not progress just because you didn't fuck him in the spaghetti on the table. stick with him and nurture the friendship...that is how friends become lovers,,,,and they are much more devoted than fuck buddies.................Keith

  
  
  Keith, he said he does not want to be in a committed relationship with a guy, period.

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  Feb 20, 2011 12:14 AM GMT

  my mom and dad met on a blind date...she couldn't stand him...they were married for 58 years until her death....i have known a lot of guys and gals who have said exactly what this guy says.....words are cheap...love can change the strongest of wills...............and if nothing more develops, you still have a great friend, right?.,......keith

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