Am I being Neurotic about STDS?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2011 5:52 AM GMT
    Hey guys I am new to this site been reading the forum topics all day. Anyways I am deeply closeted that is prob another forum post and have really only been with one guy until about 5 months ago when I moved to Chicago.

    Anyways in the past 5 months I've received blowjobs from about 12 different guys some more than one occasion. Anyways last week I got blown by this dude who I met online. His profile said neg, I asked him if he was neg he said yes, he told me again on the phone. I am a self admitted germaphobe. So anyways we agree to meet up I go over, he starts blowing me then sees I have like a birthmark in my groin area and he is like are you sure ur clean blah blah im like yes. So he blows me then he jerks me after touching his dick and jerking it with lube but he did not cum but I always worry he rubbed precum if he had any in my dick.

    So anyways I cum and am in his bathroom washing up and I notice 5 prescription bottles on the counter. I could only look at 2 before he came walking around the corner one was some medicine called terbinafine which is something about fungus, the other was gabapentin which is something about seizures, then I googled HIV and those medicines and I have no med background but they are used for some stuff.

    I only did receive a blow job from him we did not kiss fuck nothing else. Should I worry myself like crazy for the next 3 months until I can get tested. I have read online there is no such thing as receiving hiv from receiving a blowjob but who really knows.

    I am done with this hooking up shit I gotta man up and come out so I can have a normal dating life and find a cute boy to snuggle with me like I fantasize about.

    I try to rationalize this to myself thinking well the other 11 dudes who blew u could all have been hiv positive and u didn't know anything about them bc u hosted.

    This is totally crazy guys but any advice would be appreciated, combined with being in the closet depressed and this is driving me insane.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2011 5:59 AM GMT

    "I am done with this hooking up shit I gotta man up and come out so I can have a normal dating life and find a cute boy to snuggle with me like I fantasize about."

    I think so, too. Wait three weeks, go get tested for all STDs, then go again at 6 months. It's not forever; you'll be fine. You can rethink life reflectively. Hey you can talk to the guys here. In the meantime keep sex very very safe, which you will do even after getting negative test results. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Feb 17, 2011 7:48 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    "I am done with this hooking up shit I gotta man up and come out so I can have a normal dating life and find a cute boy to snuggle with me like I fantasize about."

    I think so, too. Wait three weeks, go get tested for all STDs, then go again at 6 months. It's not forever; you'll be fine. You can rethink life reflectively. Hey you can talk to the guys here. In the meantime keep sex very very safe, which you will do even after getting negative test results. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug


    Thanks guys yeah I was very safe.....I mean I would never do intercourse without a condom unless I was in a LTR but me with my neurosis about stds haha I dunno.

    I don't know anyone who does oral with a condom, though I do remember years ago watching sue johanson talk about using a dental dam to perform oral on a girl, she was very informative though.
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    Feb 17, 2011 8:13 AM GMT
    It's moments like this that make me glad that I'm not closeted. This would be a good opportunity for you to stop doing the random hook up thing with strangers. Doug already made a great suggestion. Get tested and then get tested again and from that point on go and get tested ever 3 to months throughout the year as a precaution.

    Considering your situation about being closeted and all I think you should lay and come to terms about your sexuality first before involving others. Once you feel comfortable with yourself then go ahead and include others. The cool thing to do would be to try getting to know the person you're with before doing anything with them. Play it safe buddy.
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    Feb 17, 2011 10:54 AM GMT
    To the OP - you may already be aware of it, but there are plenty of STDs out there besides HIV. Some, such as herpes, can be passed on even if condoms are being used.

    Be aware of the risks. That said, chances are that you're fine. I'd recommend getting tested in a few weeks just to put your mind at ease.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2011 11:00 AM GMT
    It's all good.

    I'm the same way - every time i hook up I always dwell on the possibility of a STD. But all you can really do is be as safe as you can. The fact that he just gave you head is a very low risk of HIV transmission. The best thing is just to find someone you trust and have sex with them all the time after getting tested together.

    Hope this helped.

    Cheerio!
  • fitdude62

    Posts: 294

    Feb 17, 2011 2:07 PM GMT
    STD's are a fact of life. If you are sexually active play as safe as possible. Know YOUR limits and stick to them.

    Getting tested every 6 months is a great practice to get into. Just to keep your mind at ease and your body safe.

    Intercouse is always the greatest risk, especailly if you are the receiver. Even in a "monogamus" relationship I would suggest using a condom. You never know. I know this sounds pessimistic but it is not. Men are men and we slip up once in a while, even with the best of intensions. I know this from experience. icon_sad.gif

    Peace
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2011 2:30 PM GMT
    dude, no amout of safe can really prevent you from an STD. being safe just reduces chance of exposure. the more partners you have, the more your risk multiplies.

    I dont think you can ever be neurotic about STDs. some of them are kind of nasty. Defiantly dont let ignorance go unchecked, it wont protect you.

    also....good point of advice:
    * guys will always lie about their status to get laid esp to have a hot guy. (cant tell you the number of liers i found out later)
    * assume everyone has an STD even if they tell you they dont because a lot of them dont even know what to look for.

    According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), if a person has 3 or more sexual partners in a year, they are considered "high risk."

    more great stuff here although it isnt specifically gay http://swc.osu.edu/for-students/sexual-wellness/sexual-wellness-education/
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    Feb 17, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    Asuguy2005 said
    Anyways in the past 5 months I've received blowjobs from about 12 different guys some more than one occasion. Anyways last week I got blown by this dude who I met online. His profile said neg, I asked him if he was neg he said yes, he told me again on the phone. I am a self admitted germaphobe.


    This makes no sense. A self admitted germaphobe has sex with 12 strangers and believes it when they say they're clean. hmmm? icon_rolleyes.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2011 2:50 PM GMT
    Every time we hook up, we take the risk of contracting something--an STD, flu, cold, fungus, etc. Tha's just the way it works. When we hook up with a guy, basically we're really hooking up with everyone he's been with. What we should do as a matter of practice is to minimize the risks by using protection, being more discerning, limiting the things that we do with guys we hook up with (for example, I generally won't kiss someone I've just met), limiting our sex partners, being very observant, asking a lot of questions, etc. You can never trust anyone nowadays, and you should never take anyone's word that he's healthy, clean, and STD-free.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2011 5:38 PM GMT
    Thanks for replies I did talk to
    Him he said he is neg and he said he is the same way he even emailed me after to make sure I was STD free so
    I mean either he is telling truth or a sociopath I
    Hope not the latter. Good point w axon I had a reg bud for
    3 years it was great he was even cuddly lol
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    Feb 17, 2011 7:29 PM GMT
    dont worry about HIV, unless he has a cut or sore in his mouth that is actively bleeding, u wont get it from receiving oral sex, but u can get other things from oral sex, herpes, clamydia, ghonorrhoea, thrush, etc, so its never 100%
  • shag91607

    Posts: 62

    Feb 17, 2011 7:29 PM GMT
    YoungjockMN said
    * assume everyone has an STD even if they tell you they dont because a lot of them dont even know what to look for.


    Best advice here.

    I just play it like everyone has something to hide esp if you're hooking up. There's no trust there to base any of his answers on. Yeah, he might have tested negative, 5 years ago but it doesn't mean that he's still clean today. Short of wearing plastic wrap or a hazmat suit be on the safe side - and if your only risk of transmission was precum from touching his dick to yours, then I'm going to go out on a limb and say HIV transmission likely was pretty effing low.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2011 7:51 PM GMT
    I've got some advice for you... get out of the closet. You're in your late 20s and living in one of America's gayest cities... get the fuck over it and stop rifling through peoples medicine cabinets.
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    Feb 17, 2011 8:01 PM GMT
    Draper said
    Asuguy2005 said
    Anyways in the past 5 months I've received blowjobs from about 12 different guys some more than one occasion. Anyways last week I got blown by this dude who I met online. His profile said neg, I asked him if he was neg he said yes, he told me again on the phone. I am a self admitted germaphobe.


    This makes no sense. A self admitted germaphobe has sex with 12 strangers and believes it when they say they're clean. hmmm? icon_rolleyes.gif



    I THOUGHT the same thing...12 different guys in 5 months! and you say you're a germaphobe?

  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Feb 17, 2011 8:29 PM GMT
    Yes, you are.

    Knock it off!
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    Feb 17, 2011 9:08 PM GMT
    I read your first 5 lines.

    You are neurotic.

  • tallchris

    Posts: 121

    Feb 17, 2011 10:40 PM GMT
    Yes. There is plenty of good information available on line. You can research it yourself.

    Being closeted isn't healthy.
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    Feb 17, 2011 10:45 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidIt's moments like this that make me glad that I'm not closeted. This would be a good opportunity for you to stop doing the random hook up thing with strangers. Doug already made a great suggestion. Get tested and then get tested again and from that point on go and get tested ever 3 to months throughout the year as a precaution.

    Considering your situation about being closeted and all I think you should lay and come to terms about your sexuality first before involving others. Once you feel comfortable with yourself then go ahead and include others. The cool thing to do would be to try getting to know the person you're with before doing anything with them. Play it safe buddy.



    Just because you're closeted doesn't make you more likely to sleep around with strangers. There's no correlation between promiscuity and being in the closet. In fact I'd argue that somebody who is in the closet would sleep around with less people to minimize the risk of somebody finding out they like men.
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    Feb 18, 2011 12:05 AM GMT
    tallchris said

    Being closeted isn't healthy.


    Disagree. Everyone is different and some are perfectly happy not being out.
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    Feb 18, 2011 12:19 AM GMT
    Bit worrying to read that the 'out' guys feel that they are much safer than the closeted guys. Loads of out guys in long term relationships are messing around....probably moreso than straight guys. Assume everyone is a risk!
  • tallchris

    Posts: 121

    Feb 19, 2011 6:11 PM GMT
    CalSparkx said
    tallchris said

    Being closeted isn't healthy.


    Disagree. Everyone is different and some are perfectly happy not being out.


    Smoking isn't healthy. Many smokers do not suffer ill health from it. The generalisation stands nonetheless.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2011 6:56 AM GMT
    I hate to judge ppls behavior but 12 guys in 5mos? If you had any true concern about STD's you'd find a reliable Fuck buddy blow buddy, whatever. So many guys in a 5mo span I'd be neurotic too!
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    Feb 20, 2011 7:28 AM GMT
    I don't know about finding a cute boyfriend to date when you come out. I did that and uh I went back in the closet because cuter boys were in the closet.
  • chris_dallas

    Posts: 340

    Feb 20, 2011 7:42 AM GMT
    dude ur prob fine u sound like u were super safe...hiv is the least of ur worries from a bj lol but the part about comming out and not hooking up anymore is greaticon_smile.gif