Is it smart to date an 'aspiring' porn star?

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    Apr 02, 2008 4:25 AM GMT
    blah blah
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    Apr 02, 2008 6:17 AM GMT
    I couldn't do it. It would REALLY bother me that the guy I was dating was fucking other guys. I like monogamy icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 02, 2008 6:24 AM GMT
    Get a clean bill of health for yourself. Get tested, ask him to get tested.

    Always, always, always use protection.

    Then, fuck hell out of that hot stud. Get copies of his movies and re-enact the scenes.

    Film it.

    Drop me a line when you post the video.
  • MarvelClimber

    Posts: 511

    Apr 02, 2008 6:40 AM GMT
    Hell no. I have nothing against porn stars. I like watching them icon_smile.gif I'd be interested in having one as a friend or club buddy. But dating one would invite a lot of unnecessary fears and doubts into my life. That kind of stress isn't healthy for a romantic relationship.

    The other thing about (good) porn stars... they act. Their job is to get you to desire them. I'm sure some guys separate their work mentality from their personal one. Though I wouldn't be blind to the possibility that that kind of personal attitude (of wanting to be desired, center of attention) has lead to that career choice.

    Are you smart to date an aspiring porn star? No. But just because a decision is high-risk, and does not appear smart, doesn't mean that the risk won't pay off in retrospect. You need to think about what you need right now, then weigh the pros and cons of what he has to offer.
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    Apr 02, 2008 11:12 AM GMT
    It seems to me that being a porn-star would be like being a gigolo. It is a job. Like many jobs it comes with some risks. As long as he is managing those risks appropriately, I cannot see what the problem would be, unless you have not made the mental adjustment necessary to be in the relationship. What could possibly be wrong with a little experimentation on your part?? Good luck and have fun!!icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 02, 2008 11:24 AM GMT
    You can never call it smart. But nobody could say it's wrong either.
    If you can accept his choice of job and can live up to it, I'll say go ahead.
    But you should really understand the risks involved. Health and relationship wise.

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    Apr 02, 2008 11:25 AM GMT
    I say go for it man. Do like what mickey suggested. Just because he's a porn star that doesn't mean he's less of a person and shouldn't be given the same opportunity to date like the rest of us.

    Best of Luck.
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    Apr 02, 2008 12:28 PM GMT
    Is love ever bound by any kind of rational, measured out common sense? Very seldom. That's why questions such as this are really just doubt out loud. There's no 100% effective suggestion any of us could make. We can share stories if we've any similar. Enabling a compare and contrast for the questioner.

    The question at hand can be answered only by the asking party. So good luck to you, ef few - ha, that's a very Howard Stern tricking Bill O'Reilly screenname - and let your happiness be your guide.
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    Apr 02, 2008 12:42 PM GMT
    ef_few saidI just started seeing this guy whom I feel like we both connected instantly. He is self-professed through his profile that he is an aspiring porn star, among other things. Should I pursue?


    Why not? The only reason to NOT is because YOU don't feel you should.

    It's an obstacle, sure, but isn't every relationship?

    Would i do it? After all the testing and things, sure would! Sure as shit would! I see no problem what so ever with it. Infact i think it would be a great oppurtunity to learn, grow, change, become a better version of myself, if only that it shows me i need to be patient... or make better decisions in the future.

  • Apr 02, 2008 1:12 PM GMT
    If you find yourself as a not jealous, very trusting, and confident man, do it. I always had the same thought, kind of like what if he finds someone that can do the job a bit better and he is meeting men all the time.....in a way, lol.
    Then what if this is the best thing you could have ever have and your letting it go because of your insecurity, and it could just be that because your in doubt right now, if you doubt how can you possibly move forward, what will race in your mind? Is he thinking of me or that dude he had earlier?
    It would take alot of communication, and in the end my thought would be do it. You could learn alot and if you dont give it a chance well you might miss out. Everyone has a reason for what they do and hey, maybe he has reasons or fell into this spot and its his only way at the time. Then again if he confesses he likes to screw around and starts giving you a bad vibe, ditch him but yeah man communication is your key. Good Luck! Muah!
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    Apr 02, 2008 1:40 PM GMT
    Check out this film.
    http://www.nakedfame-themovie.com/

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    Apr 02, 2008 2:10 PM GMT
    The monogamy would not be an issue, I would view it as his job. I would be concerned about my health and his though. You would have to trust him that he is trying to be as safe as possible. If he is practicing rimming without a dental dam or condom, or barebacking then I would not be in a relationship with him.
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    Apr 03, 2008 3:18 AM GMT
    ef_few saidI just started seeing this guy whom I feel like we both connected instantly. He is self-professed through his profile that he is an aspiring porn star, among other things. Should I pursue?


    Ultimately the choice is yours. How do you feel about it? You say you feel a connection. Continue getting to know him and see what happens. Don't jump ahead of yourself and listen for wedding bells. Pursue the connection you feel. He may not end up being the great love of your life but he may end up being one of the greatest friends you'll ever have in your life icon_smile.gif
  • groundcombat

    Posts: 945

    Apr 03, 2008 3:21 AM GMT
    I wouldn't fuck him with your dick. But that's just me. I'm selfish I guess.
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    Apr 03, 2008 3:27 AM GMT
    cronker saidCheck out this film.
    http://www.nakedfame-themovie.com/



    Definitely see this movie. Great guy. Very down to earth. Funny as hell. Had the pleasure of doing some work for him ( financial stuff ) and at one point I had to ask him to leave the office because I could get nothing accomplished he was making me laugh so hard. Nothing like the porn persona. He can actually be very campy at times. Again.. great guy!!
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Apr 03, 2008 3:39 AM GMT
    Be careful - I dated a porn star once and while he was very affectionate and seemed to care, he really did just use sex as currency. He slept with his boss for a bonus, to give an example. He was hot, and I got a free trip to NYC (Fuck yeah!) but watch yourself...you're likely to get hurt.
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    Apr 03, 2008 3:46 AM GMT
    ef_few saidI just started seeing this guy whom I feel like we both connected instantly. He is self-professed through his profile that he is an aspiring porn star, among other things. Should I pursue?


    Seems to me you all ready know the answer.
    You are just looking for someone else to tell you your answer is ok.

    Listen to me "No one can tell you how to live your life or who to date"

    My question is ask your self can you see your self with this person no matter what life might throw at you?

    Can you be what he needs? Can he give you what you need?
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    Apr 04, 2008 3:10 PM GMT
    In the end you have to do what's right for you, and what feels best for you.

    Personally, I don't think I could do it. Dating someone who has sex for a living, I would be worried that after "working" all day, that he might not want to be intimate with me. I don't know this to be true, but it's something that I think of if it were to happen.

    Not to mention the safe sex and all that other stuff we have to think about.
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    Apr 04, 2008 3:19 PM GMT
    Is it smart to date the guy that you met in bar? The guy from down the street? The guy from the Supermarket? Whether it's smart or not, you are the ONLY one who can decide that one. As for the "porn star" it's taking a self inventory and realizing what his job is, who he needs to be around, the events he has to do as well as the traveling involved. As long as you're secure with yourself and your life and BELIEVE that you can handle the attention he will receive on a regular basis. If you're cool with him and his job, cool with yourself and you guys like one another enough to give it a shot, it would be stupid to pass him by!!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 04, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    Date? no

    F*ck? yes
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Apr 04, 2008 3:47 PM GMT
    Only you can answer that question. For you to ask it here, perhaps you might not be ready for everything that comes with having a relationship with a porn star.

    I've had the plaseure of knowing quite a few people in the porn industry, and for the most part they're just like everyone else. There are flakes and there are stable people, just like anywhere else. The stable ones tend to be the most successful in their industry because for them it's just a job, and if done right, a very, very, very well paying job. But at the end of the day, they leave the 'office' and continue on with their lives with no more or less baggage than anyone else.

    Why not give it a shot and see if you both can handle it?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 04, 2008 3:51 PM GMT
    Imagine you're dating a guy that works at a Starbuck's. He likes his job, when when he gets home he says "Damn. If I have to look at one more cup of coffee....."

    Now apply that reasoning to a porn star.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • MisterT

    Posts: 1272

    Apr 04, 2008 4:08 PM GMT
    I get a kick out of people calling someone a loser just because of what they do for work, without ever knowing them, talking about prejudging, damn!

    It is a job, and as has been said, he's a person just like anyone else. If you're comfortable with what he does, why not see where it goes. I have a couple friends in porn, and an escort, people I know well, and they are some of the people I trust the most.
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    Apr 04, 2008 6:24 PM GMT
    MuscleBudSea said Dating someone who has sex for a living, I would be worried that after "working" all day, that he might not want to be intimate with me. I don't know this to be true, but it's something that I think of if it were to happen.


    I think it is important to try to understand what is going through the mind of the person who is having sex for a porn film or being a gigolo. Other than having to concentrate on having a fake orgasm most of the time, (obviously they have to perform an orgasm for the camera at times but these are usually spliced into a film of the rest of the “action”) they might be thinking about something as mundane as composing their grocery list. I think a person who performs in this way for a job is actually more likely to want intimacy and normal sex when they arrive home and the guys who do this are usually very young so they can certainly handle the extra load.