some problems

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    Feb 19, 2011 4:54 AM GMT
    i have a problem, my best friend doesn't believe that i am gay. i have tried many times to come out and he laughs them off or just starts punching me and ignores it, keeps joking about it and what not. calls me a fag and every time i he does i let him know im gay again, but idk if he knows that i am or just continues to fuck with me, he is rather manipulative. i have known him for most of my life and am trying to be honest, but my overall personality is one of a joker and i cant seem to get away from that. the other problem is that he is str8 and i have the biggest crush on him, ive suppressed it and am now on the final stages of letting it go, but it just lingers there, anybody got some advice for either of my troubles, it would be very nice to get some others opinions.
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    Feb 19, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    You could try asking him to whip out his cock so you can show him how gay you are.
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    Feb 19, 2011 5:01 AM GMT
    i offer every time he says "suck my dick", i guess a better question from the first part would be, do you think ive gotten thru to him or do i need to sit him down and tell him.
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    Feb 19, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    If I had told a good friend that I was homo and he laughed it off, that would be the end of my efforts. If he doesn't want to take it seriously, why force it on him? You're still going to be friends, right?
  • Webster666

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    Feb 19, 2011 5:27 AM GMT
    I honestly think that you need a new "best friend," someone who isn't "manipulative," and someone who believes (and accepts as fact) what you tell him. And, if you're still harboring any feelings that your crush on him might lead to more, you're very likely just setting yourself up for disappointment or possibly a lot worse. Still, I'm wondering if he has a girlfriend or if he ever talks about girls.
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    Feb 19, 2011 5:27 AM GMT
    thats why i dont know, he hates homos, quite public about that fact to, that is why i am not sure if he understands, i think im done pushing the point on him i would rather have his friendship and misunderstanding then losing a person ive known since first grade
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    Feb 19, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    he had a long relationship end in a bad way and its been over 2 years since, since then i haven't heard him talk about them since, and the way we grow up we are both quite manipulative and i dont mind that fact.
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    Feb 19, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    lol, tell him to..




    ..and that you're gay. Show him this post rofl. He'll get it.

    -Doug
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    Feb 19, 2011 12:13 PM GMT
    he "hates homos" -- how can you still be best friendsif you are someone he hates?
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    Feb 19, 2011 1:20 PM GMT
    musclematt46 saidi offer every time he says "suck my dick", i guess a better question from the first part would be, do you think ive gotten thru to him or do i need to sit him down and tell him.


    You don't need to sit him down. You need to sit on it.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 19, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    Well if you have tried to tell him..... just wait for an opportune time and call him.. ask him to come to your house when you have a special visitor.

    When he comes in, maybe he could witness you having sex with a special male visitor to your house... then maybe he will believe you!


    Sort of kidding, but if you've told him and if he doesn't believe you, thats his issue. I'd go on about your life. Sooner or later it will become clear to him you are gay...
  • massbuildah

    Posts: 276

    Feb 19, 2011 1:36 PM GMT
    musclematt46 saidthats why i dont know, he hates homos, quite public about that fact to, that is why i am not sure if he understands, i think im done pushing the point on him i would rather have his friendship and misunderstanding then losing a person ive known since first grade


    Isn't it quite possible he beleives you but doesn't know how to deal, or doesn't know how to accept it? Maybe he's in his own denial about having a gay best friend and his own homophobia is making him act this way.
    Focus on your friendship with him and not your crush, if you push that, you will most likely lose him altogether. But at some point, you have to tell him you're serious
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    Feb 19, 2011 5:21 PM GMT
    My guess would be it's his way of showing denial.... if he laughs it off, then chances are he's "choosing" not to believe you.
    I had a good friend in high school who was captain of the football team. My mom went to Florida for the winter and HE invited me to come stay with he and his mom. My mom decided it was not a good idea, so my older sister came to stay with me while my mom was gone.
    My friend used to joke around a lot about "fags" and shit...never directed to me, but never gave anyone a hint about himself either.
    I found out (from HIM), several years after graduation that he WAS gay and the reason he wanted me to stay with him was so we could "get together"...
    Sadly, that NEVER happened...and is a sore spot to this day. He was killed in a construction accident at the age of 22.
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    Feb 19, 2011 5:47 PM GMT
    Someone who is abusive and manipulative is not your friend. At best, he's a very good acquaintance.
    If you cut out the selfish and negative people from your life and only allow positive and supportive people (of course you need to be positive and supportive to them as wellicon_biggrin.gif), it's amazing what happens.
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    Feb 19, 2011 6:10 PM GMT
    My best friend within a 1000 miles is a prejudice backwoods redneck who talked shit about "fags" until I told him. It took a while, and he had a hard time accepting it, but he's very comfortable with gay peeps now. He still tries to set me up with women to convert me from time to time because he sincerely cannot understand how I can be this way. Your guy may well be similar. He's ignoring you because he cannot deal with it.

    My best advice would be try several different approaches, sincere, and heartfelt. However, do NOT pursue the crush and stop all joking about anything sexual between you. If he is straight, it will just cause problems between you two. You also have to kill the crush dead. completely. - which I know is probably easier said than done. Good luck!
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    Feb 21, 2011 7:46 AM GMT
    yea i dont know if the crush is a strong friendship or more serious, i can control my urges and put the "crush" down.