Love exists

  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Feb 19, 2011 5:22 AM GMT
    I am a fool. I chased flase dreams across the country. I chased false friends who won't give me the time of day now. I've been having a rough time of it. It's been a pretty bad 2 months. Today I went job searching and was turned away pretty much everywhere. I've been comming to terms with a loss that is inevitable, my grandfather in Chile, and a loss I recently found out about, a close childhood friend of mine.

    I found some trigger these past few months, and have finally began to realize that though I was sexually and physically abused, it was not my fault, and I will make it through this. In a weak moment I was sitting downtown today and simply burst into tear. My chest was heaving, couldn't catch my breath moretears than the raindrops crying. I just couldn't stop. I felt so terribly alone.

    Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up, iping my nose on my arm grotesquely, and there was a man standing there. Two men really, both immactuately dressed. He frowned at me for a second and asked what was wrong. I couldn't say. He walked away. Then he came back with the other man with a hot chocolate and sat down with me. And suddenly it just all came out, everything I couldn't have said and never said for years. A lot was about how I was terrified of ending up alone, it is my biggest fear after open water and the dark.

    The Men smiled at me and said it was ridiculous. I would find someone, they had. And they kissed. It had not even occured to me they were togther, they were boh very attractive and well dressed in their late 30's. I was just shocked, I'm not sure why. And seeing how they looked at each other I realized I would be okay.

    Sorry for the long post, jsut had to get this out, and reaffirm in words what happened. To make it real; it still feels unreal.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2011 9:25 AM GMT
    I am happy you have finally conquered those demons Jer...the rest is downhill on the other side of the mountain...You know you can always call me............................Keithicon_wink.gif