Gay Doctor / Straight Doctor

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2011 5:44 PM GMT
    If you had your choice, what would you pick?

    On Friday, I had my annual physical, and I have a gay Doctor right now.

    I'm relocating to Colorado, and I'll have to find a new primary care physician when I get settled there.

    It was almost like going to the barber. Sit down, get your hair cut and walk away. The Doctor knew what to look for, check, questions to ask and it was comfortable.

    I had a few things I wanted to ask him about, and he answered very professionally, and I think it was a bit easier for me because he himself was gay and can understand the question better.

    I also had my screening of STDs etc, and he knows the right check boxes to fill out and maybe some others that are necessary for a gay mans health.

    I'm going to be getting the results of the blood work tomorrow and I just thought I would ask this question if you would rather have a Gay or Straight Doctor.

    Also, those in the Denver area, if you have a great gay doctor that accepts blue cross insurance, I'd like to hear from you.

    Cheers,
    Ben
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    Feb 20, 2011 6:07 PM GMT
    wi2sd saidIf you had your choice, what would you pick?

    I picked a straight female doctor who mainly has gay male patients. HIV+ in fact, which I'm not, and I had to get her approval to take me so as not to prevent a more needy poz guy from having access to her, since she's an HIV specialist.

    But she's also the Medical Director of the SMART Ride that my partner & I are involved with. And she medically approves all the bicycle riders. Knowing my health is questionable, I decided to take the bull by the horns, and make her my General Practitioner. I figured I could at least negotiate with a person, not with a medical form.

    So I rode the 165-mile bicycle course one year, but she nixed me the last. Hell, I only got out of the hospital a week before that ride, where she told me at my bedside I couldn't participate, except as crew. But I think I might make this year in November.

    I've come to prefer female doctors. Had them for years with the VA medical system. I find them more receptive and sympathetic than male doctors, who tend to be brusk & dictatorial. I expect to participate in my medical decisions, and male doctors, gay or straight, often want to oppose my involvement, and simply impose treatments on me, without discussion, negotiation or options.

    So gay vs. straight isn't of interest to me, provided they're gay-friendly. I now choose by gender.
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    Feb 20, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    My current Doctor is straight......and I LOVE him. My previous Doctor was a straight woman....she retired, loved her too.
    He is the total professional and I can talk to him openly about ANY and EVERY topic...The orientation of my DR is unimportant.... what is important, is his professional skill, knowledge, attitude, non-judgmental..."facts as they are" approach.
    When I interviewed him, I was very direct and upfront...told him I am gay, if it was a problem, to tell me...he was fine and has many gay patients. He also does volunteer work at the local AIDS/HIV clinic...
    At that point, he told me the only way this works is if I don't hold back information..... I told him then and there..."I will NOT lie to him"...and have been good to my word....even on embarrassing topics....He knows my mind, my body, my attitudes and values....he even knows I have a crush on him!...total honesty.... He has done blood work, given shots, hernia checks, prostate exams, prescriptions, etc....Find that kind of Doctor and you will be happy!icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 20, 2011 7:44 PM GMT
    I've always had a choice, and I always chose the best doctors regardless of gender, sexual orientation or race.
  • MarvelClimber

    Posts: 511

    Feb 20, 2011 7:48 PM GMT
    I'm in the same predicament in NYC. All I can say is good luck!
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    Feb 20, 2011 7:51 PM GMT
    If you feel you'd have a better rapport and easily identify w/ likeness I would go for the Gay physician. You might, in the long run find yourself holding back and that could be crucial as time is always of essence when it come to health issues. Everyone is different and you should do what's best for self
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    Feb 20, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    Good luck. In a lot of the west, if you can find ANY doctor who's accepting new patients, the next question is usually, "What's wrong with him, then?"
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    Feb 20, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    Sporty_g said...He has done blood work, given shots, hernia checks, prostate exams, prescriptions, etc....Find that kind of Doctor and you will be happy!

    I much prefer a woman doing intimate exams on me. For one thing, I'm not going to get aroused. I'm totally detached when she's palpitating my balls, or probing up my ass.

    Second, when it comes to a DRE (digital rectal exam), her fingers are likely to be more slender & gentle. Versus some ham-fisted male doctor, who goes up there like he's a plumber cleaning out a clogged drain. I suffer from chronic prostatitis, often tender there, and these damn male doctors make me yelp, even though I warn them.

    No, I've learned to prefer female doctors. Who are potentially every bit as medically competent as a man (though I still reserve judgment until I've had a few visits, as I do with all doctors of any gender).

    And as I mentioned in a post above, women doctors are more likely to LISTEN to me. Men do not. I prefer a dialogue, not a dictator.

    I do strongly recommend the consideration of a female doctor when you have that option.
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    Feb 20, 2011 8:22 PM GMT
    This is good feedback and chatter.

    My current doctor is a HIV specialist. I'm Negative, and I read all the new posters and information that he has in the waiting rooms regarding what is the latest treatment.

    It's been great having him and I'm even thinking to just keep him as my primary while I seek out a new doctor in the Denver area.

    My health has been improving, no more needing blood pressure medication, and my weight is very much more in control.

    He was supportive of my decision to have the plastic surgery 2 years ago and has even referred some patients asking about it to the surgeon where I went.

    Networking at its finest.

    Thanks guys for the information. I definately prefer a Gay Male doctor. However; the next acceptable would be a lesbian doctor.

    I dont hold back information.. It's not good for me.
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    Feb 20, 2011 9:35 PM GMT
    I'm a little bit jealous of all of you guys who have that option of having a gay or lesbian doctor. Out here, even if there WAS a gay/lesbian doc, no one would know. I go through extensive interviews with my doctors to gauge whether or not they are at least gay friendly or not. I've had several bad experiences. I now have an older doctor who is pretty good. The last doc I had was fantastic, but he ended up going to specialized training in London and is now in Africa with Doctors Without Borders. Fortunately, I don't have a major medical condition.
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    Feb 20, 2011 9:52 PM GMT

    My preference is:
    (1) Male
    (2) Young
    (3) Open minded

    I have found that older doctors don't keep up with current meds and treatment as well as younger docs do. I also find it easier to talk to a younger male doctor. I do not hide that fact that I am gay, but it has never been an issue with my current doctor who I have had for almost 12 years.
  • BronxvilleNY3...

    Posts: 101

    Feb 20, 2011 9:57 PM GMT
    What you need is a good doctor, someone professional, knowledgeable, who cares if is gay or straight.
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    Feb 20, 2011 10:11 PM GMT
    I chose a doctor relatively close to where I live.

    During a yearly physical I made a request to be tested for common STI/STD and HIV tests. He was concerned since I suddenly wanted it, and told him this was just a routine for me. I had not taken a test over the year I was going to him because I was in a committed relationship. It was 4 month after I had broken up with my ex and thought it was a good time to get tested. That way I had a clean slate for my next relationship.

    He asked all the personal questions a doctor should about my sexual history. But he paused and took off his glasses and asked, "Men, women or both".

    I replied and said men only, and I use protection.
    He nodded and proceeded to tell me a few things I already knew. And he actually came out to me and said he'd been with his partner for 10 years.

    Let me tell you, it takes the edge off completely! Instead of wondering if they are judging you, he was having a discussion about my sexual health and I was completely okay disclosing everything.

    He joked around too but in a serious way to see if I'm involved in circuit parties or white parties, and if I was into any drugs (fyi- I'm not into any of those). I could tell he really was just looking out for me and knowing what sort of activities I was involved in.

    I'm very happy with my doctor, and even when I move to my new condo, I'll still go see him for check ups.

    Before, it would have never mattered to me, but now, yes, I prefer a gay male doctor.
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    Feb 20, 2011 11:06 PM GMT
    It's the most wonderful thing having a doctor with a largely gay practice. There's nothing I'm reluctant to tell her about, and as I posted above, I prefer a female doctor to a male. She's more easy to talk with, and certainly more gentle during "intimate" examinations than rough men. And the fact she's a woman doesn't phase me in the least regarding issues of shyness.

    She's a professional, and I've been poked, prodded and peered out "down there" by female nurses and doctors since I was a kid, and throughout my military career and afterwards in the VA. If anything, it's easier than with a man, with whom I might have a reaction.

    On top of that, she's my partner's primary, too. He & I have mutual Health Care Surrogate agreements on file, and General Powers of Attorney, and other documents necessary in this Red State of Florida, where gay unions & marriages are prohibited. So if worse-comes-to-worse, we each have full medical access and authority should that become necessary, though as a general rule we never pry.

    If I want to know about his health I ask him, not her. That's just a matter of respect. But a couple of times it has become necessary in the last 18 months, and I was in charge of his health care, our own doctor and others completely cooperative.

    So an ideal arrangement, in my view. Yet she's straight. So as I posted above, not a straight-gay thing in my view. A gay-friendly thing absolutely. More significant in my mind, I would recommend considering a female primary provider, regardless of her orientation.
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    Feb 21, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    Mike42 saidI'm gay. And a doctor.

    Don't trust me.

    Here's why: If you're cute, you stand a much better chance of receiving Oxycontin and a couple of days off work.

    If you're not: Tylenol and "light duty".

    Now, get out of my office.


    LOL- really eh? Will you be my doctor icon_biggrin.gif

    My doctor actually wrote me a note to only work maximum 40 hours a week one month because I was stressed out and it was affecting my morning appetite. The person I worked with went away for an entire month, so I was struggling on my own (with her work too) and shit was exploding left right and center.

    I actually never followed it icon_redface.gif
    When I realized it was stress related, I upped my time in the gym and that compensated just fine icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 21, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    Mike42 saidI'm gay. And a doctor.

    Then I hope I didn't offend you be relating my experiences above with male doctors. Who were mostly clumsy clods, who hurt me more than helped me.

    But being a gay doctor, I trust you're different. I hope you keep in mind that your patients are people, too, and not cadavers. Which is unfortunately the impression I get from most straight male doctors with whom I've dealt.

    But nice to have a physician online here. Your expertise is valuable, though I know you can't diagnose online. Nevertheless, your professional comments about medical issues we discuss here would be very welcome.
  • HndsmKansan

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    Feb 21, 2011 4:06 AM GMT
    I'd be more interested in competence and open mindedness than on their sexual orientation. However, if I discovered the person was a bigot, I doubt I'd be a patience for long.
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    Feb 21, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    Since I'm not out and still struggling with the idea of coming out I'd rather have a gay doctor. I'd feel much more comfortable talking about things and bringing things up.
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    Feb 21, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    I'd prefer a gay doctor. I had one quite a few years ago before we moved. I just felt more comfortable as he was an easy-going, no bullshit guy you could talk to who knew the scene. Since that time I've had a couple of other straight male doctors, they barely have time to talk to you to the point that when they pop their head in the examining room door they barely take their hands off the doorknob.
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    Feb 21, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidI've always had a choice, and I always chose the best doctors regardless of gender, sexual orientation or race.


    ^^This