I love you's

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2011 8:08 PM GMT
    Ok so in my experience so far, the I love you's come a few weeks after you've been official.

    I have been in a relationship now for 3 weeks with this guy and we've been seeing each other pretty much everyday. Things are really great and all. I have said the *drum roll* "I love you" to him (and this is really how I feel about him and I am all about expressing how I feel), but it was not reciprocated.

    Now I feel a bit hurt and closed off that I've made myself vulnerable but the feeling was not returned. I'm probably just being immature and I just need to brush off being hurt because maybe he isn't ready to say that yet, right?

    After how long do you usually say the I love you's?
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    Feb 22, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    "I love you" after three weeks? That's puppy love. The real thing comes only after you have gotten to know each other intimately, in more ways than just the physical. It takes months, not weeks.
    Premature "I love yous" sound insincere and shallow. Save "I love yous" until they express a deep and true emotion instead of a momentary infatuation. You will know when that happens and so will your bf.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Feb 22, 2011 9:14 PM GMT
    TexDef07 said"I love you" after three weeks? That's puppy love. The real thing comes only after you have gotten to know each other intimately, in more ways than just the physical. It takes months, not weeks.
    Premature "I love yous" sound insincere and shallow. Save "I love yous" until they express a deep and true emotion instead of a momentary infatuation. You will know when that happens and so will your bf.


    This. Plus:

    Premature "I love you"s are a huge warning sign of emotional immaturity, poor judgement, and boundary problems (in my opinion). If anyone said "I love you" to me after three weeks, it would be over immediately. As TexDef said, getting to the point where you can say "I love you" to someone and really mean it takes months, not weeks.
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    Feb 23, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    I was going through your pics Bunjamon... And I love you. This is legit, hah.
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    Feb 23, 2011 3:03 AM GMT
    I don't think you can put a time requirement on when you can and can't say "I love you." If you're feeling it, say it. The worst that could happen is you don't get an "I love you" back or you scare him off. If you don't say it, you're never going to know if the object of your affection feels the same way and is simply waiting for you to say it first. One caveat though--say the magic words only if you know that what you're feeling is real.
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    Feb 23, 2011 3:04 AM GMT
    Years
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Feb 23, 2011 3:06 AM GMT
    osiris0210 saidI was going through your pics Bunjamon... And I love you. This is legit, hah.


    Back off betch, I called him when he's back from China months ago
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    Feb 23, 2011 3:10 AM GMT
    I also think that after three weeks, you're still getting to know one another, and you're probably begining to see the real person you've been dating. I actually don't like people being clingy or coming onto me too strong, it freaks me out...
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:27 AM GMT
    Immediately after I ejaculate. It's usually, "God, I love you." That way I can deny telling him I love him and was only expressing my love for the Supreme Deity and that cumming is the closest we can get to heaven here on earth. ; )
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:30 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidImmediately after I ejaculate. It's usually, "God, I love you." That way I can deny telling him I love him and was only expressing my love for the Supreme Deity and that cumming is the closest we can get to heaven here on earth. ; )


    I had guys say "I love you" to me during sex and then not remember it later. Weird. Kind of like it doesn't count if you say it while having sex.
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    I don't necessarily have an aversion towards the statement. I've never said it to anyone, however.
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    Three hours.

    I don't understand why guys are so love-phobic.
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:41 AM GMT
    Life is short. Since when did saying "I love you" become so taboo? I'm reading a lot of nonsense in this thread. My rule of thumb is: If you feel it, say it. If someone is going to read a lot into it beyond it indicating that the other person feels some affection, they have a warped view of what it means to love. I love a lot of things in life. I love the sun, I love my gym, I love my work, I love the water I drink and the food I eat. And if I happen to say, "I love you" to someone I'm attracted to, it is what it is. (However, it does not mean that I expect you to offer me a key to your place.)

    Chill out guys. It's not the end of the world. Some people are more intense than others. Some fall in love and out of love faster than others. Get a grip!

    To the OP: If this other person has become a mute ever since you whispered those "blasphemous" words, take a hint: MOVE ON because he ain't worth it. However, don't change yourself because of this particular reaction. You are who you are and you should love that first!
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:43 AM GMT
    this is whats called an "i love you fail"

    You: I love you
    Other person: FAIL!
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:45 AM GMT
    marcobruno1978 saidLife is short.


    So will that first date be if you decide to fall in love and say it there.
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    marcobruno1978 saidLife is short. Since when did saying "I love you" become so taboo? I'm reading a lot of nonsense in this thread. My rule of thumb is: If you feel it, say it. If someone is going to read a lot into it beyond it indicating that the other person feels some affection, they have a warped view of what it means to love. I love a lot of things in life. I love the sun, I love my gym, I love my work, I love the water I drink and the food I eat. And if I happen to say, "I love you" to someone I'm attracted to, it is what it is. (However, it does not mean that I expect you to offer me a key to your place.)

    Chill out guys. It's not the end of the world. Some people are more intense than others. Some fall in love and out of love faster than others. Get a grip!

    To the OP: If this other person has become a mute ever since you whispered those "blasphemous" words, take a hint: MOVE ON because he ain't worth it. However, don't change yourself because of this particular reaction. You are who you are and you should love that first!


    Lots of good points here.

    Saying it too soon may be awkward but is no sin. Saying it too late is.
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    marcobruno1978 saidSome people are more intense than others. Some fall in love and out of love faster than others. Get a grip!


    some people also like to eat paint chips, that doesn't make it okay.
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    marcobruno1978 saidLife is short.


    So will that first date be if you decide to fall in love and say it there.


    ...so be it... although the OP is indicating that it was above and beyond a first date. Live life passionately or live it bitterly as some on this thread prefer...

    To quote Shakespeare, "...speak of one that lov'd not wisely but too well..."
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:53 AM GMT
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    Feb 23, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    3 weeks it a little early, and probably not very legitimate. But I have truly felt love before, and it only took a few months. I agree with the guy above that it tends to be a little too taboo. But people forget that like all things, love changes, and 'love' means something a little different to everyone. Moral is, don't rush it, you can be upfront and still keep some intimate feelings to yourself... but if it's legitimately true, then there shouldn't be a problem.. however it's up to you WHEN to tell them.
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    Feb 23, 2011 5:18 AM GMT
    Bunjamon said
    TexDef07 said"I love you" after three weeks? That's puppy love. The real thing comes only after you have gotten to know each other intimately, in more ways than just the physical. It takes months, not weeks.
    Premature "I love yous" sound insincere and shallow. Save "I love yous" until they express a deep and true emotion instead of a momentary infatuation. You will know when that happens and so will your bf.


    This. Plus:

    Premature "I love you"s are a huge warning sign of emotional immaturity, poor judgement, and boundary problems (in my opinion). If anyone said "I love you" to me after three weeks, it would be over immediately. As TexDef said, getting to the point where you can say "I love you" to someone and really mean it takes months, not weeks.

    I agree 100% with both statements.

    From what I've experienced, real love is a slow-burning emotion; it's manifestation is incredibly dependent on time... and it's not just the quantity, but the quality of that time that tends to lend to such burgeoning emotions.

    Consequently, I find it difficult to believe that three weeks is long enough for anyone to develop such strong feelings for another person, and to such an extent that they feel obliged to inform that person verbally... unless of course you've been spending every waking moment together...? icon_neutral.gif
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    Feb 23, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    sashaman said
    UndercoverMan saidImmediately after I ejaculate. It's usually, "God, I love you." That way I can deny telling him I love him and was only expressing my love for the Supreme Deity and that cumming is the closest we can get to heaven here on earth. ; )


    I had guys say "I love you" to me during sex and then not remember it later. Weird. Kind of like it doesn't count if you say it while having sex.


    EXACTLY!
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    Feb 23, 2011 7:04 AM GMT
    WHO CARES? how ever i feel in a particular moment is what im gonna say. If its hot as hell outside and i need one more quarter to buy a mrs softee and you give it to me, then in that moment i love you. And I'm gonna tell you I love you, and i dare you to say shit.................icon_mad.gif

  • Feb 23, 2011 7:12 AM GMT
    There's no set time frame for it.. every situation is different because of the individuals and their experiences coming into the relationship. I say, be guarded from saying it too quickly, but NEVER be ashamed if you feel genuine love for a man soon. I believe true love is when you're attracted to them on a deep level emotionally, physically and mentally. I've been in love twice in my life. My first love took a year before I realized I was in love, my most recent took maybe a month or so ( yet it turned out to be my deepest). You'll know if it's real love though based on how you feel when you're getting ready to see them, and even more so when they're not around. Loving someone is never something to be embarrassed about though, I personally think it's a blessing to see someone and feel for another person in that light. Maybe that's just the romantic in me though... best of luck bud!
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Feb 23, 2011 9:05 AM GMT
    with my last ex it took me 3 month before either one of us said i love u