I kinda always knew. I mean, I use to think the Duke boys from the Dukes of Hazzard were "pretty" as a little boy.
I think around 12 is when I realized I'm attracted to men. I mean, when all of the other guys in my class were attracted to the opposite sex and I was fantasizing about kissing another guy, I knew I was different. And I had to keep that to myself. I became very introverted and kept A LOT of hidden feelings to myself. Doing that, I, in turn, got picked on EVERY DAMN DAY I was in school. I didn't even stand up for myself: I just got more quiet.
My true side started to crack when I was a Senior in HS. I started standing up for myself a lot more. That stunned people and my family.
College and now, I let out a lot of those hidden feelings and allowed myself to be me. All of the things said that I wouldn't amount to much and I'm not attractive and I'm a loser, etc. I knew I wasn't and I didn't need to prove to them. I just became the Allen I knew I am with the help of moving away, seeing a great therapist and physically rebuilding myself.
I wish "It Gets Better" was around when I was a boy, but I'm glad it's here now. If you or someone you know needs help, call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866.488.7386) or visit http://www.TheTrevorProject.org