Mika and gay identity

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2007 7:32 PM GMT
    I love Mika. I like the way he doesn't want to label himself "gay." I read his interview in Out about not liking labels, and I agree totally. I don't like the "gay" label because it has associations which have nothing to do with who I am. I don't think Mika is copping out--I think he's courageous to not play into gay fundamentalism. I think there are a lot of homosexuals or bisexuals who don't adopt the "gay" label for various reasons, one being the honest acknowledgement of a certain amount of sexual fluidity. Also, many don't buy into the politics of Pride. I wonder if anyone else has read the Mika interview and what they think.
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    Jun 21, 2007 7:43 PM GMT
    What did you do, push rewind and play?
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    Jun 21, 2007 7:47 PM GMT
    I've read the article, as well as others addressing this very topic... My thought...

    Several years ago a group of drag-queens were beating and arrested for being gay. A few years later a little blonde boy was beaten and tied to a fence for being gay. These people, as well as the countless others around the globe that are being arrested, beaten, murdered or forced into suicide because they think they have no other option are all having this happen because they're gay.

    To have gay people reject the label put upon them, to me, is an affront to all those people that have lost their lives because they were gay.

    I get it, no labels, fluidity, blah blah blah. To be gay, to me, is not just to be like Jack from Will & Grace, or be the 'token' minority amoungst your friends. It is not about dressing a certain way, liking a certain kind of music, or behaving a certain way, it is about being a part of something. It is about getting rights (even absurd ones like marriage). It is about allowing children to discover who they are and NOT have teachers make fun of them infront of the entire class. It is about allowing parents to keep their children.

    This whole 'post-gay' notion is bread out of narrow-mindedness. Why can we not RE-define these words/labels used for us? Why must we stay in our little boxes and accept what 'the other' has placed upon us.

    Ps. We must also note that Mika has not specifically come out, he's kind of like Jodie Foster, so his view on being labelled gay really... not relevant. If you ain't gonna live the life...
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    Jun 21, 2007 7:53 PM GMT
    to the original poster:

    Seriously, if being "gay" has nothing to do with "who you are," why then come to a health site specifically targeted to gay men??? There are, as a google search will tell you, many sites out there for the fitness minded. Could it be that there's a kinship which contains things that you don't agree with and therefore makes you condemn those with whom you share a label?

    There is no homogenous "gay identity" per say BUT there is a widespread, homogeneous homophobia which condemns people for being "gay," regardless of what sports you like or beer you prefer.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Jun 21, 2007 9:00 PM GMT
    You've brought up this topic a few times.

    I COMPLETELY understand what you mean about the label, because I came to the some conclusion years ago. I've also come to the realization that I am who I am, not what a label makes me.

    I really think that you have been exposed to a more hostile cross-section of gay culture.

    Its likely that the people you surround yourself with, and the culture that you immerse yourself in, is what makes you resent the label.

    If you're confidant enough in yourself, you'll learn that a label means nothing. I spend every day of my life trying to destroy stereotypes, I actively wage war on labels, but until I can explain to someone that I am homosexual without going into a rant about why I dont like the term "gay" Ill accept it.
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:01 PM GMT
    I think Mike is a cock-loving fag. It's a shame he's too scared to say because he doesn't want to alienate his straight 8-year-old fans. That's the real reason why he doesn't come out.

    I hate Mika and his Leo Sayer voice.
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:11 PM GMT
    .....a duck is a duck is duck is a duck......
  • starterjock

    Posts: 3

    Jun 21, 2007 9:19 PM GMT
    I don't condone hate. Saying that you hate someone is taking it a bit to far, expressing your distaste is quite alright but how dare you use the word hate. Especially since there is a universal fight against this very concept.

    If Mika chooses to be professionally non-associative, so be it. His personal life has nothing to do with his music career. One might try to draw a parallel with the "Billy Brown" track;However valid it may or may not be, the parallel may be it goes no further. Leave the man alone. Would you be so bold as to say that you "HATE" Anderson Cooper who is also a professional non-identifier and refuses to answer any questions about his sex life?

    Mind what you say and exercise humanity before throwing out such meaningful, and hurtful words towards people you do not know.
  • DenveRyk

    Posts: 167

    Jun 21, 2007 9:31 PM GMT
    Everyone is perfectly free to rejest whatever label s/he wants to. But face it: if you like cock (and since you are on this "gay" site, it can be assumed that you do, until you state/prove otherwise) all your het buddies will turn the other way when somebody decides to smash your queer face in just because. Don't want to be known as gay? Fine. But don't ride on the coattails of those out and proud gay men and lesbians who have spilled their blood and given their time and energy so that if somebody DOES smash your qreer face, the police will be more likely to be involved in that GAY BASHING. Sheeesh. Get over it. We here because we are gay men.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:31 PM GMT
    oooh dear...if you like cock you are gay and there is nothing you can do about it. you are a homosexual gay man :)
    you have to get over it and start living your life because of what you are doing now is wasting it.
    You will always be labelled as a homosexual gay :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:38 PM GMT
    As opposed to a heterosexual gay?

    Mika and his Leo Sayer voice! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

    I won't say hate, but I never liked Leo Sayer. He never made me feel like dancing.

    Who is Mika anyway?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:43 PM GMT
    "...I think there are a lot of homosexuals or bisexuals who don't adopt the "gay" label for various reasons, one being the honest acknowledgement of a certain amount of sexual fluidity...."

    Why should bisexual men label themselves as "gay?" They are bisexual.

    Anyone that uses the jumble of words: "...honest acknowledgement of a certain amount of fluidity..." is blowing smoke over all the mirrors which have his reflection.

    If you REALLY meant that, then you should reject the sexual orientation characterization "straight" because those guys should also be allowed wiggle room for their "sexual fluidity."

    We see through the smoke, skjpm....you are still not out...just like the men on gOy.org are not...and are coming up with all sorts of excuses to explain it, including self-identifying with guys who are "proudly" unaccepting of their own gayness.

    Get on with it, man. Geez.
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:45 PM GMT
    "What did you do, push rewind and play?"


    Word!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:49 PM GMT
    I apologise, hate is too strong a word for him. He just irritates me with that voice and those gay white jeans.
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:50 PM GMT
    Come on,Red. You want him.
  • atxclimber

    Posts: 480

    Jun 21, 2007 9:54 PM GMT
    Skjpm, a frequent contributor to the forums on Realjock.com, a site whose very banner proclaims itself a "Gay Fitness Community," prefers not to identify as "gay," and expresses little to no interest in becoming more physically fit.

    If I phrase that more concisely, it would be like Coffee Talk, with Linda Richmond:

    Skjpm, a guy on a Gay Fitness site, is neither Gay nor into Fitness.

    Discuss.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:56 PM GMT
    I haven't been here long, but, I'm beginning to wonder if skippy is a plant, scripted by our hosts to encourage debate or by someone here who has another identity and is trying to encourage comedy. Skippy, if you're real, I apologize, but, sincerely, you sound like a broken record. For the young crowd - audio used to come on records, disks made of vinyl with grooves carved in them and grooves carved into the groove to represent the sound. A broken record either skipped (no pun intended) or just kept repeating the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over an....
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    Jun 21, 2007 9:56 PM GMT
    Atx - it's like butta.
  • atxclimber

    Posts: 480

    Jun 21, 2007 9:58 PM GMT
    McGay: I hope I'm not giving too much away here, but it seems that everyone who is paying attention is gradually coming to that conclusion. :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2007 10:00 PM GMT
    Well, I'm not too much of a Bawbra fan either. When she's vertical, that nose is like a two car garage.
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    Jun 21, 2007 10:03 PM GMT
    Hello! Skip as agent provocateur was my original conjecture!

    In any event, Mika not saying he's gay -- although he wants to be like Grace Kelly and sucks hard on lollipops -- is not exactly a claim to liminal sexuality, Skip.
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    Jun 21, 2007 10:10 PM GMT
    If he wants to be like Grace Kelly, let's send him over the corniche in Monte Carlo.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2007 10:10 PM GMT
    I love Leo Sayer, too. Believe it or not, I have all his albums--really. Part of coming out is the freedom to admit that and take those CDs out of their Toby Keith covers.

    I admire Mika for not being pressured by the Gay Mafia (see above posts, esp. Mcgay) into labelling himself according to their terms.

    Coming out is a personal journey of self-acceptance--it is not a political statement. Coming out means I get to be who I am, however I want to define myself. The word "gay" has come to be synonymous with Pride, for instance, which is not in any way part of my identity. Also, most people experience a certain amount of sexual fluidity in terms of their orientation which is not included in the gay label.

    I'm glad that Mika is part of a new generation of men who don't use predigested labels to define themselves.

    So, you can all suck too hard on this lollipop! :)

    P.S. I am not a plant. I am a homosexual who doesn't like the Pride community. We're here, we don't label ourselves as queer, get used to it.
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    Jun 21, 2007 10:14 PM GMT
    So why not label yourself "straight with a distinct penchant for cock"?

    You know, when guys come out, often people will say "oh, you're just confused". Are you sure you're not just confused?

    It doesn't take an awful lot of courage to admit to liking Leo Sayer. Millions of people bought his records. Don't pat yourself on the back so hard, Skip. You're not alone in your bad taste.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2007 10:15 PM GMT
    You mean "we're here, we're hiding, don't uncover us".