Sex addiction: Can you be addicted to sex without actually engaging in sexual behaviors outside the norm

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2011 8:53 PM GMT
    First a clarification. I use the term "norm" in the relative sense, in regards to your specific individual circumstances.

    Can you be addicted to sex without actually engaging in sexual behaviors, be they; outside your relationship, dangerous/irresponsible, bdsm, whatever. If not addiction what would you call it?


    (if anyone has seen my last post, i know this is funny timing but trust me the two are only minimally related, only as far as they both concern sex but that is the end of the similarities)
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    Feb 24, 2011 8:44 PM GMT
    Sexual addiction is progressive intimacy disorder that despite increased sexual compulsion, the motivating factors are not sexual in nature. Sometimes the sexual acts do not progress past excessive masturbation or a fixation to porn. Addicts will continue to engage in risky behaviors despite the negative impact on health, work, and relationships, Sexual addiction is considered a progressive disease, meaning that to get the same arousal the behavior becomes gets more and more risky.

    So, yes, a sexual addiction can exist without acting on it. But, you can also have a high sex drive or particular fetish without being a sex addict.

    Dr Patrick Carnes has several books on the matter if you need more information.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Feb 26, 2011 10:12 AM GMT
    Sexual addiction is not related to strange or kinky sex directly.You can be a sexual addict and just have vanilla sex. It's possible that a sexual addict might find themselves in more kinky situations because they just have more sex! It's possible to be a sex addict and just masturbate, but it's less common, and usually has less negative impact on your life.

    If you have sex with a lot of partners, and you use sex to escape yourself, or to go into a zone to either numb yourself out, or feel high, you might have a problem. Sex should leave you feeling satisfied and a more whole person, if it just leaves you feeling more empty, more scattered, more irritated, yet you keep initiating sex over and over, you might have a problem. Also sexual addicts don't typically get to know or care about the partners they have.

    It's pretty rare that sexual addiction would exist within a truly monogamous relationship, but I suppose it's possible. It would probably be a really dysfunctional one though!