Confused

  • willss

    Posts: 4

    Feb 24, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    I started speaking to this guy I met online for a few weeks now. We were suppose to meet up and see where things would go. He claims that he is interested in me and obviously I am interested in him as well. I was curious if his feelings were real, so my friend decides to speak to him to test things out and to find out if he was really interested in me. My friend found out his feelings were legit.

    He called me a few nights ago. We started speaking to each other, like our usual conversations over the phone. He suddenly mentions my friends name, and pretending not to know what him and my friend spoke, I was intrigued of how he felt for him. So I asked what they talked about; if he was interested in him, and I also said that my friend likes him too. He was mumbling his answers, so I repeated my questions a few times. I guess he got annoyed of the questions. Than when I repeated that my friend likes him, he says, "I don't think that it's a good idea that you come down this weekend." After that, we hung up.

    I asked why it wasn't a good idea and he says that I'm not the person he thought I was, saying that this is some high school bullshit, and he also said that he is disappointed in me. I told him to let me explain myself and I said I got a bit carried away. He said he tried letting me explain and I failed?...

    I don't know if i should go see him in person to apologize and explain my side of the story or send him a long text message explaining how I feel. I also don't know if it's my fault because we have been speaking for maybe 3 weeks or bit more and just because of that one minute of trying to figure out if he liked me or not just messed the whole thing up. Is it just me? or does his reaction have something to do with it too? I don't want to annoyed him and make him feel irritated but I need some closure.

    What should I do?
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    Feb 24, 2011 3:44 AM GMT
    You scared him off. What you did was sophomoric and you certainly can't blame him for reacting the way he did. It boggles my mind why you even thought it necessary to test him in the first place. Ahh, the games we play. I would suggest self-flagellation to start with.
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    Feb 24, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    fail12.jpg
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    Feb 24, 2011 4:36 AM GMT
    You ruined it. He really has no reason to allow you any time to explain yourself and there really isn't a good explanation for your behavior anyway. Move on and learn from this so you don't make this kind of mistake in the future.
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    Feb 24, 2011 5:27 AM GMT
    willss saidI started speaking to this guy I met online for a few weeks now. We were suppose to meet up and see where things would go. He claims that he is interested in me and obviously I am interested in him as well. I was curious if his feelings were real, so my friend decides to speak to him to test things out and to find out if he was really interested in me. My friend found out his feelings were legit.

    He called me a few nights ago. We started speaking to each other, like our usual conversations over the phone. He suddenly mentions my friends name, and pretending not to know what him and my friend spoke, I was intrigued of how he felt for him. So I asked what they talked about; if he was interested in him, and I also said that my friend likes him too. He was mumbling his answers, so I repeated my questions a few times. I guess he got annoyed of the questions. Than when I repeated that my friend likes him, he says, "I don't think that it's a good idea that you come down this weekend." After that, we hung up.

    I asked why it wasn't a good idea and he says that I'm not the person he thought I was, saying that this is some high school bullshit, and he also said that he is disappointed in me. I told him to let me explain myself and I said I got a bit carried away. He said he tried letting me explain and I failed?...

    I don't know if i should go see him in person to apologize and explain my side of the story or send him a long text message explaining how I feel. I also don't know if it's my fault because we have been speaking for maybe 3 weeks or bit more and just because of that one minute of trying to figure out if he liked me or not just messed the whole thing up. Is it just me? or does his reaction have something to do with it too? I don't want to annoyed him and make him feel irritated but I need some closure.

    What should I do?



    LOL. what a waif. It's really not that big a deal, and its definitely something you guys could have talked through. I think it's funny. I would not have done it, but if it was done to me I wouldn't have taken it sooo seriously especially since its not like you guys are in a relationship or anything. Better off without him IMO.
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    Feb 24, 2011 5:47 AM GMT
    You're at a fault for having to "test" him. That's a pretty immature move, in my opinion. If your instincts told you he's into you and you're into him, it makes absolutely no sense to me to why you'd have to throw in a 3rd party to try and see if what you suspect is all true when it's right in your face already.
    If you can't tell how he feels within a 3 week (or more) time period that you had with him seems rather improbable in most situations. That is, assuming you aren't slow up there, of course.

    Were you just trying to bolster yourself to feel all giddy by having pass a test?

    I'd suggest you should just chalk it up as a loss and use this experience to grow up. You're clearly not ready to be in a relationship right now.

    I sound harsh. icon_redface.gif

    So to leave with a more positive message, you can always try and explain to him what happened. But do understand that if he doesn't accept your apology or whatnot, he's probably got good reason(s) not to with the way he was treated.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Feb 24, 2011 6:49 AM GMT
    That does sound a bit high school. Don't worry you'll find another guy out there. Just don't do the same thing!
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    Feb 24, 2011 10:05 AM GMT
    DOMINUS saidYou scared him off. What you did was sophomoric and you certainly can't blame him for reacting the way he did. It boggles my mind why you even thought it necessary to test him in the first place. Ahh, the games we play. I would suggest self-flagellation to start with.


    +1 icon_smile.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Feb 24, 2011 7:28 PM GMT
    first of all how are old are you 12? who does the type bullshit you just pulled? i mean really dude, grow a pair. i can't believe you got someone to ask him if he likes you. i mean you were talking for 3 weeks. if he were not interested i would like to think he would not have continued chatting with you.
    dude, leave the man alone. i think, no i know you have blown your opportunity with this guy.
    by the way, if you need closure than go get therapy. that dude does not owe you anything. you need closure, no you need therapy.
    ha ha ha ha i am sorry for being so harsh to you but damn that very immature and for you to make it seem like he was over reacting is probably why you need to leave him alone. you need to move on dude.
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    Feb 27, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    its really not that big a deal...............I think he was overreacting.
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    Feb 27, 2011 5:22 AM GMT
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    All of the advice everyone gave you is legit. Follow it.
  • XxXxXxAZNxXxX...

    Posts: 615

    Feb 27, 2011 5:25 AM GMT
    I understand you wanted to try and make sure that he really felt for u, but I thought the way you did it was a little shady. Meeting someone/dating is about building trust with someone and trying to figure out if you are compatible. I DO UNDERSTAND the need to want to know and make sure that things are legit. I also understand the frustration that your friend must have felt. I think perhaps letting things sit for a while would help clear the air and then definitely a formal apology would be a great idea. When you do though, explain the reasoning that you did it, that your feelings were genuine and that you just didn't wanna mess things up because you really liked him. icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 02, 2011 6:21 AM GMT
    AWWW!

    Hope u find another guy u like and this time u know wat not to do. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 02, 2011 6:30 AM GMT
    we all fuck up every now and then.. better now than later..=/
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    Mar 02, 2011 8:06 AM GMT
    I think first u should apologize to the guy, show how sorry ur to be acting like a 13yr old. show him how sincere you are and maybe he will forgive u and will take u back. If he still say no at least he got to hear ur out! icon_eek.gif
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    Mar 02, 2011 8:44 AM GMT
    http://theconfusedjuan.blogspot.com/ i promise this isnt spam. but if you read my blog itll really help me out that way u guys can respond and all of that good stuff. send me direct emails to lookatmewhenyour@yahoo.com. thnk you guys so much. if u read it and wanna reply on here , im all ears and ill keep check this.Spread the word, if u have a bunch of gay straight acting friends..forward my blog to them. i know theres other people out there like me.
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    Mar 02, 2011 8:52 AM GMT
    http://theconfusedjuan.blogspot.com/ i promise this isnt spam. but if you read my blog itll really help me out that way u guys can respond and all of that good stuff. send me direct emails to lookatmewhenyour@yahoo.com. thnk you guys so much. if u read it and wanna reply on here , im all ears and ill keep check this.Spread the word, if u have a bunch of gay straight acting friends..forward my blog to them. i know theres other people out there like me.
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    Mar 02, 2011 8:54 AM GMT
    Thats kinda creepy. icon_confused.gif
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    Mar 03, 2011 9:07 PM GMT
    Mixleanmachine saidThat does sound a bit high school. Don't worry you'll find another guy out there. Just don't do the same thing!


    i agree icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 18, 2011 2:53 PM GMT



    You pushed him into a corner, and well it backfired... Everything could of worked out fine if you had not felt insecurity. That's the thing with online "feelings" there will always be doubt... Just keep hope and maybe something would have come out of it... My advice to you is to let this one go, move on, find another guy and I hope you learned your lesson. icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 18, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
    Find someone else icon_smile.gif