This is awesome thanks man.
This part almost made me cry from laughing:
Shannon: That's not my cat. Where did you get that picture from?...
David: I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.