After the Honeymoon stage .... Advises please!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2011 4:51 PM GMT
    So I've been dating my bf for about two months now, he is awsome, he is great and basicaly perfect, but as the tittle may hint you the phase where we think of one another all day long is gone, little details like the "good morning" text are fading away.

    I've read this is normal in every relationship and that you can either work on it, or jump to the NeXT exciting new relationship(doomed to go to the same cicle)

    needless to say I want him and a relationship with him, I know he does to not just because he says it but for little things someone thinking of a breakup would not do.

    Advices? What do you do after the hooneymoon stage is over?
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    Feb 24, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    set the example you want in your relationship..text him good morning & do little things you need to feel connected! Everyone has a different approach to relationships so you need to find a way to get your needs filled but i'd stick with the guy you like rather than jump ship. Being committed means not running off at every bump in the road. Keeping the romance alive is a constant part of it.
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    Feb 25, 2011 3:08 AM GMT
    Ablebody3 saidset the example you want in your relationship..text him good morning & do little things you need to feel connected! Everyone has a different approach to relationships so you need to find a way to get your needs filled but i'd stick with the guy you like rather than jump ship. Being committed means not running off at every bump in the road. Keeping the romance alive is a constant part of it.


    I know thanks, Im trying really trying, I see a lot of great qualities in him, he just makes me happy and a better person. But what do you think I can do? What sort of things I mean.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 25, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    You gain a real appreciation for who he his as a person... you gain respect, you learn to live with one another, exposure to the "goods and the bads" and the real life behind the honeymoon. He gets to see you and you him when you look crappy, bad moods, problems, etc.... and you get to see something else.... real love.
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    Feb 25, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    yes thats normal, but not after two months icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 25, 2011 3:50 AM GMT
    How long was the pre-honeymoon stage?

    I spent a year getting to know my guy.....both bad, good and indifferent..

    I've been around the block a few times and there is no one that will ever even come close to the guy I have.......

    Seriously.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 4:10 AM GMT
    The "honeymoon stage" should be perpetual if you're in love with each other. I don't buy the honeymoon bullshit.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Feb 25, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    Writrboi said
    What do you do after the hooneymoon stage is over?


    I immediately file for a divorce icon_eek.gif

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    Feb 25, 2011 5:50 AM GMT
    yz250mxrida saidyes thats normal, but not after two months icon_eek.gif


    icon_sad.gif

    Well back in high school I used to watch my straight counterparts go
    into relationships that lastes 3 months each, I came up with the theory that the exciment fades after that and I have to say, the ones that made it over that line, made it to a year and the ones that made it past that are still together.

    I want to make it past this stage, so again, advices? For example conversation is starting to lessen because we preatty much know what we do during the day.
  • ueatzit

    Posts: 174

    Feb 25, 2011 6:22 AM GMT
    My advice is...

    "Normal" is a broadly defined term. To accept the notion that 2 months versus 3 months or a year as normal is foolish as each pairing between two people will play out differently. Perhaps you met him when you're feeling career pressure to move and so want to move things along faster? Maybe he's just going into a period of self discovery? There are lots of factors that sway what is "normal".

    Relationships are ALWAYS going to end up having less that wonderful periods. I wouldn't kid myself into thinking otherwise. Well, okay I did a long time ago and it is unreasonable to assume that you or him will remain happy forever in the same way that happy meant during the first few hours/months/years.

    Lastly, no guy is perfect. I used to think my guy was perfect but really, he is human and has traits that I wish he didn't have. Likewise, he's held the mirror up to my face more than once and showed me that I was being a poor partner. As we've grown with one another we've accepted and compromised on one another's less-than-perfect traits. We have been together for over 10 years now. Nowadays I can look at him and he at me and know that our love is a very strong deep love that survives regardless of if I leave my undies on the floor habitually or he doesn't clean up spills in the kitchen well.

    Appreciate him for all that he is but be prepared to compromise and perhaps bring this up with him as well. Do it gently of course. If you forsee a serious relationhip with him as your future he should know and express the same so that you two can go lock-step with one another.

  • Profire

    Posts: 224

    Feb 25, 2011 11:47 AM GMT
    ueatzit said

    Lastly, no guy is perfect. I used to think my guy was perfect but really, he is human and has traits that I wish he didn't have. Likewise, he's held the mirror up to my face more than once and showed me that I was being a poor partner. As we've grown with one another we've accepted and compromised on one another's less-than-perfect traits. We have been together for over 10 years now. Nowadays I can look at him and he at me and know that our love is a very strong deep love that survives regardless of if I leave my undies on the floor habitually or he doesn't clean up spills in the kitchen well.

    Appreciate him for all that he is but be prepared to compromise and perhaps bring this up with him as well. Do it gently of course. If you forsee a serious relationhip with him as your future he should know and express the same so that you two can go lock-step with one another.



    I think Dan Savage explains this perfectly....."Its the Price of Admission"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 11:50 AM GMT
    I think if after only 2 months you feel the honeymoon stage is over then you aren't right for each other. 2 months is NOTHING. Do you even love each other yet???
  • ueatzit

    Posts: 174

    Feb 25, 2011 11:56 AM GMT
    Profire said


    I think Dan Savage explains this perfectly....."Its the Price of Admission"



    Haha yes....so true! My partner and I saw that a while back together and we were nodding in agreement. He explains it well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 3:25 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidThe "honeymoon stage" should be perpetual if you're in love with each other. I don't buy the honeymoon bullshit.



    Thanks DOMINUS, our experience as well.