What signals that a guy isn't interested to chat/email if you get a response?

  • ueatzit

    Posts: 174

    Feb 25, 2011 10:04 AM GMT
    Of course not getting a response or being blocked outright is pretty clear to me that someone isn't interested to chat, but what if you get a response?

    When do you usually catch on that the guy you're trying to talk to just doesn't give a $&!^ about making a connection?

    What would you like him to use as a signal.

    For me, I usually catch on when I get one or two word email responses such as "yeah thanks" or "great". I appreciate it when someone says outright and politely says something like: "Thanks for the email/chat, really am looking for something else. Have a good one."

  • Chackers

    Posts: 149

    Feb 25, 2011 10:27 AM GMT
    I don't think it's too different from having a conversation with someone face to face. When it seems they're just not interested in the conversation and giving short one or two word answers like you said, you know they're looking to escape lol.
    That's probably the time to just let them go on their way icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 11:26 AM GMT
    if youre the one doing all the initiating and he only replies to what you ask and asks nothing of you. it becomes very clear from there hes not interested.
  • ueatzit

    Posts: 174

    Feb 25, 2011 11:30 AM GMT
    Chackers saidI don't think it's too different from having a conversation with someone face to face. When it seems they're just not interested in the conversation and giving short one or two word answers like you said, you know they're looking to escape lol.
    That's probably the time to just let them go on their way icon_smile.gif


    AND
    Kanaka24 said
    if youre the one doing all the initiating and he only replies to what you ask and asks nothing of you. it becomes very clear from there hes not interested.



    I know. I can read between the lines in those situations but I guess what I'm really asking is "why is it some people never get the clue?"

  • Profire

    Posts: 224

    Feb 25, 2011 11:32 AM GMT
    ueatzit saidO I appreciate it when someone says outright and politely says something like: "Thanks for the email/chat, really am looking for something else. Have a good one."



    This is assuming that you have told him what you are looking for and he isn't looking for the same thing.

    What if you are just up for chatting and wasting some time and someone responds that "I am looking for something else" and you were never even thinking about a relationship or anything more long term?

    He could have just cut you off for no reason.

    I tend to take one-word answers or long delays as their disinterest.
  • Chackers

    Posts: 149

    Feb 25, 2011 11:35 AM GMT
    oh haha, well maybe some people just struggle to let things go?
    If they start the conversation, then they're obviously interested in the person and hope that the feeling is mutual, so they almost refuse to see the signals out of hope for a better outcome?
    A little lapse in judgement because they just want the person to like them. I'm pretty sure most people have done it in one way or another icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 11:39 AM GMT

    I know. I can read between the lines in those situations but I guess what I'm really asking is "why is it some people never get the clue?"

    gay men are thick. most can not handle anything less than what they want...even if its out of someone they hardly know...?
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    Feb 25, 2011 1:36 PM GMT
    When they don't reply back after the 3rd email.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 25, 2011 1:41 PM GMT
    Short responses back in response to your e-mail.... if you give compliments, a polite, but curt response.

    You compliment him on his looks, body or the like in your discussion....
    In return:

    "thanks".


    I always try and be polite, but I've had a few that are overbearing in sending notes. I just get short, but try never to be rude. If I send someone a note and ever get that response. I don't comment again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 1:49 PM GMT
    Good_GOD_get_a_life_kansan!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 1:52 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said


    I always try and be polite, but I've had a few that are overbearing in sending notes. I just get short, but try never to be rude. If I send someone a note and ever get that response. I don't comment again.

    >>;p
    ttly agree with you, even if you are from Kansas *grinz*
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    Feb 25, 2011 2:14 PM GMT
    Kanaka24 said
    I know. I can read between the lines in those situations but I guess what I'm really asking is "why is it some people never get the clue?"

    gay men are thick. most can not handle anything less than what they want...even if its out of someone they hardly know...?


    They do get the message. It is that hope against hope and desperation that make them don't wanna take the message.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 3:28 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you said
    Kanaka24 said
    I know. I can read between the lines in those situations but I guess what I'm really asking is "why is it some people never get the clue?"

    gay men are thick. most can not handle anything less than what they want...even if its out of someone they hardly know...?


    They do get the message. It is that hope against hope and desperation that make them don't wanna take the message.


    I agree to an extent. the "desperate" rely too much on web communication...forgetting along the way what its like to be decent. and the most lacking; polite.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    I usually don't care most of my time here is spent doing research, in truth I only talk to one person here who obviously is not interested in me, but I make small talk anyways, for reason all my own.icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 3:38 PM GMT
    Well just something off the track but, if you send a message and the guy doesn't send anything back, do you think it's impolite? Or maybe i'm the only one who's too into the send-reply stereotype?

    Actually i reply all the messages sent to me, even rude messages like telling me to send nude pictures (a reject message for those of course), so i really feel "un-nice" about some guys who at first seem to be nice, everytime my message is not replied, it feels like they're thinking of themselves as high-level or something like that (racism?)

    Not framing such things to all of the jocks, i've met great ones up here too, thanks RJ >icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 25, 2011 3:43 PM GMT
    Evil_Sperm_Cell saidGood_GOD_get_a_life_kansan!



    You're not only attacking HndsmKansan on topics, but have written up something about him on your profile. Why? What's your problem?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 4:07 PM GMT
    Yeah I pretty much agree with everyone.

    Since everyone said pretty much the same thing, I will try to think of a new one. Sometimes a guy will talk to you to be friends. A conversation with someone on here doesn't have to be sexual or have a dating motive. Hell, a lot of the people I talk to are just to be friendly, and not anything more. So if you are having one of those conversations and try flirting a bit and the guy just laughs or brushes it off, that could be a good sign he isn't interested in all that.

    But of course this isn't always the case. Some guys will kind of flirt back just to joke with you or be polite. And also, when some guys insert little flirty comments, it doesn't mean they are interested necessarily. I will admit that I flirt fairly often and there are many times when it is just me being a goof. Doesn't mean I am trying to hit on them.

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    Feb 25, 2011 4:11 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidYou compliment him on his looks, body or the like in your discussion....
    In return:

    "thanks".


    not necessarily true!! for me anyway, sometimes i get complimented (i dunno why, im fugly as hell) but i do, and they're unsolicited, i usually dont know what to say back??? what should i say back if i was interested? lol
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    Feb 25, 2011 4:16 PM GMT
    Chackers saidIf they start the conversation, then they're obviously interested in the person and hope that the feeling is mutual...


    Well this isn't ALWAYS the case. I have started plenty of conversations with people I am not necessarily interested in. I will talk to them because of something funny/cool in their profile or in the forums. I love making friends.

    I also try not to assume someone is interested in me if they email me. The only time I feel that way is when they start off calling me cute or something along those lines. Even then, it could just be a friendly compliment. People should stop assuming everyone who emails them is into them. I am sure that is why some people don't return emails, because they automatically assume they are being hit on. Don't assume people!
  • Chackers

    Posts: 149

    Feb 25, 2011 5:14 PM GMT
    KSUOWLWell this isn't ALWAYS the case. I have started plenty of conversations with people I am not necessarily interested in. I will talk to them because of something funny/cool in their profile or in the forums. I love making friends.


    Sorry i didn't mean interested for romantic reasons only, i meant interested for all purposes (friendship, hobbies or work related conversations). Should of specified icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 5:16 PM GMT
    Don't read too much into brief, concise, seemingly uninterested resposes. It could simply be that the timing of your email/IM was inopportune and he's busy, etc. If I'm not interested, I generally acknowledge the email/IM and then say "gotta go." Otherwise, it's a go, and the line of communication is active.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 5:17 PM GMT
    Chackers said
    KSUOWLWell this isn't ALWAYS the case. I have started plenty of conversations with people I am not necessarily interested in. I will talk to them because of something funny/cool in their profile or in the forums. I love making friends.


    Sorry i didn't mean interested for romantic reasons only, i meant interested for all purposes (friendship, hobbies or work related conversations). Should of specified icon_razz.gif


    Oh haha then nevermind! But actually a lot of people need to read that because I think way too many people think if you email someone, you want to bang them.
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    Feb 25, 2011 6:07 PM GMT
    maxjf said
    HndsmKansan saidYou compliment him on his looks, body or the like in your discussion....
    In return:

    "thanks".


    not necessarily true!! for me anyway, sometimes i get complimented (i dunno why, im fugly as hell) but i do, and they're unsolicited, i usually dont know what to say back??? what should i say back if i was interested? lol


    I personally find compliments to be a copout en lieu of an actually good conversation starter. A one or two word compliment on their part is not going to get a long and carefully worded response on my part to try to get to know them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    Sometimes i Dont even Care if the guy doesnt respond to my comments, i just like looking at him. Lol! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2011 6:19 PM GMT
    KSUOWL said
    Chackers said
    KSUOWLWell this isn't ALWAYS the case. I have started plenty of conversations with people I am not necessarily interested in. I will talk to them because of something funny/cool in their profile or in the forums. I love making friends.


    Sorry i didn't mean interested for romantic reasons only, i meant interested for all purposes (friendship, hobbies or work related conversations). Should of specified icon_razz.gif


    Oh haha then nevermind! But actually a lot of people need to read that because I think way too many people think if you email someone, you want to bang them.


    Hmmmm so thats why everyone thinks I'm a slut......