i dont understand

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2011 11:12 PM GMT
    I don't understand things at all right now

    So i've been out for about a year now. Since i came out, i've been trying to get out there and date people. It started out as casual dating but as of june, ive been looking for something more long term. The only guys who ever talk to me or hit on me or ask me out are those who are extremely unattractive, and when someone who is attractive and i get along with asks me out or we agree to hang out or whatever, he turns out to be a giant asshole to me. During one date, i just wasn't feeling it, and one guy didn't care and tried to force me to sleep with him in his car. Like I said, they all turn out to be assholes and just want to sleep with me. Nothing ever works out with anyone. I don't know if it's me and my standards are too high for myself or what. I put myself out there but i never get anywhere. i have no idea what to do about it though icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 27, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    Guys can smell desperation like a sweaty jockstrap. Just chill. If it's meant to be, it will come.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Feb 27, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    Slow down there buddy. Your 18. Keep looking, but take things a bit easier. It's ok if some guys are jerks. It's ok if you don't find some guys attractive. Wait for the right person for you, but know that 1 year isn't nearly long enough to be looking.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Feb 27, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    Exactly how is he a giant asshole to you?
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    Feb 27, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    When I say long term I don't mean something like marriage or anything like that. Basically I just want something that's gonna last more than 2 or 3 months. And the guy was just rude to me. He would tell me I needed to lose weight, and that I was annoying whenever I was around him and his friends and stuff like that
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    Feb 27, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    Stop looking and just enjoy your life. Guys will be much more attracted to you if you have a positive attitude. The right one will come around eventually. And, if he doesn't.....keep enjoying your life anyway.
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    Feb 27, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    HipstimaticSV saidStop looking and just enjoy your life. Guys will be much more attracted to you if you have a positive attitude.


    This.
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    Feb 27, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    you are 18, stop trying to mutha-f'ing find your life partner. find a hobby, go to school, be the best you can be at what you do so that when the right guy finds his way to you, he has nothing to complain about. so, take whip yo hurrr and stop wasting your time figuring shit out that doesn't need figuring out.

    i swear, 6 years ago you probably thought not getting your a trip to disneyland was a life or death situation, I'm sure things haven't drastically changed to where it merits assessing your life and all things wrong with your serach for mister right.
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    Feb 27, 2011 3:09 AM GMT
    well you are young... you will learn a lot from life and people. they will dissapoint you a lot and many will surprise you. Have an open mind and you will reallize a lot.
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    Feb 27, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    At 18? Really? Just have fun. Chances are slim the guy you meet and fall in love with will be your final relationship anyway. Date a variety of guys, think outside your small box, and I'm guessing you'll learn a lot that will help you down the road when you do find someone you really love.
  • Nosroc10

    Posts: 63

    Feb 27, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    As I was told once, "you'll have to kiss a ton of frogs before you'll find your prince." Anything that is worth having usually requires a lot of work to obtain, so just keep plugging along and someday it'll just happen. In the mean time, keep your head up and go about making yourself the best person you can be.
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    Feb 27, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    jrunner25 saidyou are 18, stop trying to mutha-f'ing find your life partner. find a hobby, go to school, be the best you can be at what you do so that when the right guy finds his way to you, he has nothing to complain about. so, take whip yo hurrr and stop wasting your time figuring shit out that doesn't need figuring out.

    i swear, 6 years ago you probably thought not getting your a trip to disneyland was a life or death situation, I'm sure things haven't drastically changed to where it merits assessing your life and all things wrong with your serach for mister right.


    Agreed. Focus on finishing college and your personal goals in life. Plus college is a great place to meet guys. When you are thinking about a relationship too much, it just makes you more desparate. The good ones always come when you least expect it. You will learn its all about timing in you and your future bf.
  • camfer

    Posts: 892

    Feb 27, 2011 4:45 AM GMT
    Hey OP, do you have any gay friends just to hang with and not date or have sex with them? You might talk with them and find that they are having a similar time on the dating scene.

    Every guy that you're with should make you just a little bit smarter at knowing what qualities you want in a guy and a little more discerning at picking guys who might possess these qualities.

    If you approach the dating as simply getting to know each other, then there's less of an issue about the outcome. You've had a chance to get to know him and either move on or hang out more. More often than not, one or both of you just wants to move on. That's an aspect of dating that you're going to have to accept.

    In your late teens and early 20s you are exploring a lot, and learning a lot about who you are. So too are the guys you're dating. In the context of so much change, dating a guy for a few months and recognizing that the connection has reached its conclusion is perfectly okay. The end of that association doesn't even mean it failed.

    Learn what you can from each person you are with. Take some time between guys to reassess who you are and what you want. Approach it all with integrity. Then you are apt to have some good times with some good guys, and some not-so-good times with guys who turn out to be very different from your first impression of them.

    Over time you can become better at assessing another person's character. Ask guys out who you find attractive on more levels than just the physical. Don't wait for others to ask you out. Have fun, be safe, and good luck.
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Feb 27, 2011 8:30 AM GMT
    i dont think you have to worry so much. i mean i also tend to feel the same way but we're young so we shouldn't let it get us down.