Marauding Gay Hordes Drag Thousands Of Helpless Citizens

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    Mar 01, 2011 10:47 PM GMT
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    Marauding Gay Hordes Drag Thousands Of Helpless Citizens From Marriages After Obama Drops Defense Of Marriage Act

    WASHINGTON—Reports continue to pour in from around the nation today of helpless Americans being forcibly taken from their marital unions after President Obama dropped the Defense of Marriage Act earlier this week, leaving the institution completely vulnerable to roving bands of homosexuals. "It was just awful—they smashed through our living room window, one of them said 'I've had my eye on you, Roger,' and then they dragged my husband off kicking and screaming," said Cleveland-area homemaker Rita Ellington, one of the latest victims whose defenseless marriage was overrun by the hordes of battle-ready gays that had been clambering at the gates of matrimony since the DOMA went into effect in 1996. "Oh dear God, why did they remove the protection provided by this vital piece of legislation? My children! What will I tell my children?" A video communique was sent to the media late yesterday from what appears to be the as-yet unidentified leader of the gay marauders, who, adorned in terrifying warpaint, announced "Richard Dickson of Ames, Iowa. We're coming for you next. Put on something nice."

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/marauding-gay-hordes-drag-thousands-of-helpless-ci,19325/
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    Mar 01, 2011 10:49 PM GMT
    Gotta love The Onion! The way they word their headlines and stories makes them sound as if they actually happened. LOL!

    They make us sound like mindless zombie hordes going after all straight men.
  • Chackers

    Posts: 149

    Mar 02, 2011 4:51 PM GMT
    ahaha this made my day thanks!
    someone think of the children!!
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    Mar 02, 2011 4:53 PM GMT
    Where do I sign up to be part of this marauding horde? icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 02, 2011 6:46 PM GMT
    Heh, funny read.
  • LifeByTheHorn

    Posts: 255

    Mar 02, 2011 7:00 PM GMT
    Yesssssss, I am itching to annihilate some sexy straight men. Show them who is the big daddy! I will drag them one by one and while their cries echo and bounce all over the warehouses. This sodomization in the dark alleys will last a freaking long time. Beware!!!