What would you do if the guy whom you love and who does not love you wants to have sex with you?

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    Mar 02, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    It is not easy ...
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    Mar 02, 2011 12:45 AM GMT
    Easy, love yourself.
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    Mar 02, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    You don't have to love somebody to have sex with him. If the object of your affection is not in love with you but he still wants to have sex, perhaps you should try it. If he's a bad or mediocre lay, that might change your opinion of him and erase all the lovin' feelin' that you have for him. If it's a good lay, well, that might be a problem--then you're on your own. Just saying.
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    Mar 02, 2011 2:00 AM GMT
    Go for it.

    It's probably the only thing you'll ever get out of him. And there is always a chance that he might still fall in love with you.

    And maybe the sex will be so bad, that you'll wake up "what was I thinking?"
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    Mar 02, 2011 2:05 AM GMT
    I've been in this situation. I declined the advances.

    Why compound an already hurtful situation into something where you will inevitably be setting yourself for an even bigger heart-ache and diminished self-worth?

    Let it go. Hurt. Heal.

    Only then will your decisions be free from clouded-emotions and irrrational compulsions. If you decide to have sex under a more objective mindset when you're not going through the emotional turnoil of unrequieted love, then you will have nothing to lose. Alas, as it currently stands, you do. Hedge your bets.
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    Mar 02, 2011 2:20 AM GMT
    Biguy711 saidIt is not easy ...


    Yeah, that is a difficult one. I'd avoid making love with that person if you feel it's going to make you have stronger feelings for him afterward that won't be reciprocated (and make you feel worse).
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    Mar 02, 2011 5:14 AM GMT
    You're right, it is difficult.

    If someone doesn't love you but wants to have sex with you - it's just the physical act of sex for them. For you, it might be physical as well, but because you're in love with him, you'll tie sex in with intimacy... which may only end up hurting you more because your emotions are attached.

    My advice is to refrain from sex, but it's ultimately your call. Just look out for yourself both mentally and physically and don't be taken advantage of.
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    Mar 02, 2011 5:31 AM GMT
    _SAGE_ saidI've been in this situation.

    I declined the advances. Why compound an already hurtful situation into something where you will inevitably be setting yourself for an even bigger heart-ache and diminished self-worth?

    Let it go. Hurt. Heal.

    Only then will your decisions be free from clouded-emotions and irrrational compulsions. If you decide to have sex under a more objective mindset when you're not going through the emotional turnoil of unrequieted love, then you will have nothing to lose. Alas, as it currently stands, you do. Hedge your bets.


    i agree with him.
    youd only be setting yourself up for another let down, let it go.
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    Mar 02, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    Why do you love someone that doesn't love you?!
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    Mar 02, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    luvitohateit saidWhy do you love someone that doesn't love you?!


    This.
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    Mar 02, 2011 5:49 AM GMT
    mohammed250 said
    luvitohateit saidWhy do you love someone that doesn't love you?!


    This.


    You both do not see the essence of love.
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    Mar 02, 2011 5:53 AM GMT
    easy, just don't do it. Wait til which ever one propose and marry you. Then do it.
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    Mar 02, 2011 5:53 AM GMT
    Turn and Run!!! lol
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    Mar 02, 2011 5:57 AM GMT
    Biguy711 said
    mohammed250 said
    luvitohateit saidWhy do you love someone that doesn't love you?!


    This.


    You both do not see the essence of love.



    Oh I know where this is going.

    No. I do see the essence of love.

    The idea that true love is when you love someone who does not love you...
    etc... etc...


    But, you have to look at the context you brought "love" in.

    You tried to equate love to sex by implying that it is hard (it is not easy) to have sex with someone who you know doesn't love you. Therefore saying that love is required for sex... which is not true!

    1) Sex is not love. If so, then porn stars love each other am I right? No. They don't love each other. They do it because it is their job.


    Would you love someone who raped you? (Extreme situation but brings out the concept that sex does not equal love)
    Of course not.


    My answer is I would not have sex with them. I can love them, but it would be a waste of my time because they do not love me.

    Love is a two way street. To make it work, you need both sides of the road to be moving at the same rate.

    If you say "No. I still love them regardless..." it is pointless... Would you still love someone who does not love you who lives 20 hours away from you by plane?

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    Mar 02, 2011 5:59 AM GMT
    If any kind of intimacy with the guy is better than none, then go for it.
    If you're hoping that someday he will love you, then hold out.

    I would not want to have sex with a man I love, but only sees me as the latest conquest.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

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    Mar 02, 2011 5:59 AM GMT
    Biguy711 said
    mohammed250 said
    luvitohateit saidWhy do you love someone that doesn't love you?!


    This.


    You both do not see the essence of love.



    And what is the essence of love to you may I ask?



    Leandro ♥
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    Mar 02, 2011 6:05 AM GMT
    don't do it

    been there and it hurts
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    Mar 02, 2011 6:07 AM GMT
    icon_cool.gif
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    Mar 02, 2011 7:14 AM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ said
    Biguy711 said
    mohammed250 said
    luvitohateit saidWhy do you love someone that doesn't love you?!


    This.


    You both do not see the essence of love.



    And what is the essence of love to you may I ask?



    Leandro ♥


    Unconditional love.
    Confucius said: love what you love and extend this love to what you do not love. And love who love you and extend this love to who don't love you
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    Mar 02, 2011 8:03 AM GMT
    heybreaux saidSounds like the only options are sex or no sex.

    Sex. - You can always tell him later that you faked every orgasm. icon_lol.gif


    Could it still be fake if you cum?
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    Mar 02, 2011 8:34 AM GMT
    The guy sounds like a self absorbed , narcissistic selfish prick who knows the effect he has on you and is using it to get his way.

    You are worth more than such an insect as that.

    You will get hurt and he won't give a flying fuck in a rolling doughnut!
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    Mar 03, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    I am always wondering if there exists a kind of love like what is expressed in the poem below..

    Meet me or not

    Whether you meet me or not
    I'm right there
    Neither sad nor glad

    Whether you miss me or not
    My feelings for you are right there
    Neither rising nor falling

    Whether you love me or not
    My love is right there
    Neither more nor less

    Whether you are with me or not
    My hands are right in yours
    Neither clinging nor giving up

    Come to my arms
    Or let me live in your heart
    We love with serenity
    and rejoice in tranquility
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    Mar 03, 2011 6:27 AM GMT
    Biguy711 saidI am always wondering if there exists a kind of love like what is expressed in the poem below..

    Meet me or not

    Whether you meet me or not
    I'm right there
    Neither sad nor glad

    Whether you miss me or not
    My feelings for you are right there
    Neither rising nor falling

    Whether you love me or not
    My love is right there
    Neither more nor less

    Whether you are with me or not
    My hands are right in yours
    Neither clinging nor giving up

    Come to my arms
    Or let me live in your heart
    We love with serenity
    and rejoice in tranquility


    You need to meet my friend here called...

    wait...what's your name again?

    ... oh.. yea.. "REALITY".


    Don't flame me for this... I just think you are a bit on the extreme with respect to all this fantasy relationship bullcrap.


    There is a poem about fucking on venus. icon_twisted.gif Thing is...that will never happen.
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    Mar 03, 2011 6:45 AM GMT
    mohammed250 said
    Biguy711 saidI am always wondering if there exists a kind of love like what is expressed in the poem below..

    Meet me or not

    Whether you meet me or not
    I'm right there
    Neither sad nor glad

    Whether you miss me or not
    My feelings for you are right there
    Neither rising nor falling

    Whether you love me or not
    My love is right there
    Neither more nor less

    Whether you are with me or not
    My hands are right in yours
    Neither clinging nor giving up

    Come to my arms
    Or let me live in your heart
    We love with serenity
    and rejoice in tranquility


    You need to meet my friend here called...

    wait...what's your name again?

    ... oh.. yea.. "REALITY".


    Don't flame me for this... I just think you are a bit on the extreme with respect to all this fantasy relationship bullcrap.


    There is a poem about fucking on venus. icon_twisted.gif Thing is...that will never happen.





    Thank you buddy. I knew it is not realistic, but it is still really beautiful. I am not saying I am like this.

    Just want to share.It says this poem was written by the 6th Dalai Lama. I am trying to translate some of his poems .
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    Mar 03, 2011 6:46 AM GMT
    I don't know that I could be in love with someone if it weren't mutual... just seems counter intuitive.. more like be infatuation or a crush. SOOO no sex or nuthin' for him lol