BF thats somewhat oddly obsessed with y hair being straightened...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 02, 2011 11:30 AM GMT
    This read may be a lil boring for some of you, fyi!

    Been with a guy for over a year now and the first time we met i had semi long curly/wavy hair and thats how it naturally is. So my bf straightens his hair everytime he goes out.

    So i tried it also (for him mainly) and it suited me and then i invested in straighteners so i began doing it every now and then. Thing is though i have alota thick hair and i hate doing it and i suck at it.

    Now when my hairs in its natural state, he gives me looks and alsays hints for it to be straight all the time. so after about a year now, i am really over him comments and facials towards me. Yes he gets turned on and he likes me with straight hair, but i cant do it all the time like him, so i finally cracked it. Was sick of feeling shit when i didn't straighten my hair and hated how it controlled and affected how he felt about me.

    Is this normal, was i wrong to crack it OR is he just being way silly and should accept me for me?

    Cheers Guys
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    Mar 02, 2011 9:09 PM GMT
    It is a silly thing to be fighting over.
    Would he be happier if you shaved your hair off?

    Why would you want to put up with a guy who criticizes your hair and gives you funny looks? Do you like the criticism?
    Why is he so hung up on your hair? Have you asked him what it is about having your hair straight that he likes so much?
    Have you told him that you don't appreciate him criticizing your hair when it's curly?
    Does he know that hair straightener will damage your hair over time?

    The important thing is to communicate with your bf.
    Do you want to stay with a guy who doesn't like how you look and criticizes you for your hair?
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    Mar 03, 2011 8:21 AM GMT
    Its sad to say it, but i have tried talking about it but it gets me know where and the funny thing is he has faults that he could prevent but doesnt, yet i still put up with them, cause the positives out run the negatives.

    I just think its a pathetic situation and he should get over it, but thats too hard for him to understand. so he'd rather end what we have then admit its sill to be so obsessed with my BLOODY HAIR...

    Cheers for the reply btw. Much appreciated.
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    Mar 03, 2011 9:02 AM GMT
    Thanks mate. And yes its waaayy to hot to do it all the time, I work up a sweat doing it.


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    Mar 03, 2011 9:06 AM GMT
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    Mar 03, 2011 9:22 AM GMT
    onfilm said Was sick of feeling shit when i didn't straighten my hair and hated how it controlled and affected how he felt about me.


    hmmm sounds like you did what you needed to do in your eyes. However, I understand wondering if we are in the right about our decisions at times.

    hmmm well playing Devils advocate you could always go with a straitening treatment for your hair... But to be honest I don't see how thats going to help solve your problem or address your feelings on this matter.

    After all its just hair, but it does beg the question of why does it matter so much for him?
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    Mar 03, 2011 9:24 AM GMT
    Only in a gay relationship would this ever be an issue... lol. icon_neutral.gif
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Mar 03, 2011 9:36 AM GMT
    You are going to have to treat him like an animal and condition him to accept your wavy hair.

    Keep it straight for while.
    Shock him occasionally.
    Then make it just slightly not straight for awhile.
    Shock him but with less intensity.
    Then make it a little less straight than before for another awhile.
    Milder shocks.

    etc..

    Keep doing this gradually over a long period of time and before you know it, you'll have your normal hair back and he will have become conditioned to it.

    If he starts to pipe up about your hair and straightening it, immediately cut him off with a loud 'tssssst!' sound coinciding with a firm pinch on the nape of his neck. If he resists, push him to the ground and roll him onto his side or back. Be dominant.

    You have to let him know that he's is not in charge, you are.
    You are the pack leader.


    Alternatively:

    When he's asleep take a long stretch of your hair and coil it around the head of his penis (just behind the ridge). This at the very least will cause discomfort. Keep doing this over time, maybe even placing stray strands into his underwear as well so it will lend evidence to how it is 'naturally' happening. Eventually he will grow tired of the discomfort and just feel like you having straightened hair is just not worth it.
    If he doesn't make that connection, you can make it for him. Use this article showing that straight hair tangles more easily than curly hair:
    Curly hair tangles less than straight hair
    Make sure you do so with a tone of compassion.
    Remember, he has to feel like you are trying to help HIM.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2011 9:43 AM GMT
    Anto saidIf he starts to pipe up about your hair and straightening it, immediately cut him off with a loud 'tssssst!' sound coinciding with a firm pinch on the nape of his neck. If he resists, push him to the ground and roll him onto his side or back. Be dominate.

    You have to let him know that he's is not in charge, you are.
    You are the pack leader.


    lol, did you rip that directly from South Park?

  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Mar 03, 2011 9:48 AM GMT
    KardioKing,

    Both the Dog Whisperer show and Southpark making fun it!
    The guy actually does those sorts of things and talks like that lol
    But yeah, I think that's what onfilm should do icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2011 10:43 AM GMT
    KardioKing said
    Anto saidIf he starts to pipe up about your hair and straightening it, immediately cut him off with a loud 'tssssst!' sound coinciding with a firm pinch on the nape of his neck. If he resists, push him to the ground and roll him onto his side or back. Be dominate.

    You have to let him know that he's is not in charge, you are.
    You are the pack leader.


    lol, did you rip that directly from South Park?



    LOL LOVE IT!!!

    Had an ex who would not leave home unless every hair was exactly even on top. He ended up being a true psycho and stalker.

    Hope this isn't the case for you.
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    Mar 03, 2011 3:15 PM GMT
    KardioKing saidOnly in a gay relationship would this ever be an issue... lol. icon_neutral.gif


    I think there are women who have had similar conversions with their loved ones about the size of their breasts.
  • helios01

    Posts: 349

    Mar 03, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    Men are liek dogs... you can either train them or neuter them,,,
    okay, you sit him down,
    look him in the eyes....
    take a deep breath... and
    say
    "honey, stop making me straighten my hair or I'm not going to have sex with you"


    icon_razz.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Mar 03, 2011 3:30 PM GMT
    sounds like the bf has "control freak" issues icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2011 3:32 PM GMT
    You are toooootally in the right here. Besides the fact that I've never even met a guy who straightened his hair, you shouldn't be doing anything to change yourself for your bf- that crosses the line of compromise........

    Not to mention, so many guys out there will love your curly/wavy hair.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    Is your hair long enough to tie back? It would fix things instantly!

    Perhaps your boyfriend sees straightened hair as 'neat', whereas even a slight kink or curl would be 'untidy' and a head of waves and curls would be 'unruly'. (I say this from the point of view of one of my former colleagues. She had slightly wavy hair, but you would never see her without straightened and immaculate hair - for her, wavy hair was untidy). Without knowing what your hair looks like, I'm guessing with curls you sometimes get quite a bit of frizz? Perhaps a product to keep your hair sleek may be all that's needed to placate him.

    (I started to tie my hair back this week with all the hot and humid weather we're having; it's definitely very refreshing and I get to keep my curls).