Being attracted to men your dad's age = having daddy issues?

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    Mar 02, 2011 8:04 PM GMT
    I was discussing this topic on a forum, and some posters said that any 20-something guy who is attracted to men his dad's age is searching for emotional compensation or for a father/son relationship.

    I had a hypothesis that the reason may be the intellectual chemistry that may be present and that the younger guy may not find frequently with guys his age.

    What do you guys think of this subject?
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    Mar 02, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    I'd say not necessarily, but it's safe to assume so.

    If the guy is in his late teens or early twenties, he might just like the older guy. You can easily search RJ and find tons of hot men in their late thirties and forties. At that point in their lives, men had time to grow into their bodies and can pack on muscle.
    The younger guy might like dating someone more mature and stable.

    He may have daddy issues. He might be looking for approval from a surrogate father. It may be some gay Oedipal thing.

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    Mar 02, 2011 10:16 PM GMT
    Ermine saidI'd say not necessarily, but it's safe to assume so.

    If the guy is in his late teens or early twenties, he might just like the older guy. You can easily search RJ and find tons of hot men in their late thirties and forties. At that point in their lives, men had time to grow into their bodies and can pack on muscle.
    The younger guy might like dating someone more mature and stable.

    He may have daddy issues. He might be looking for approval from a surrogate father. It may be some gay Oedipal thing.



    ya the guys in their 30s and forty's are hot,, stay away from the creepy older guys right?......lmao.....ermine?? remove left foot, replace with right............Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Mar 03, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    Rofl, perhaps some younger guys don't look at age as a determining factor. Yes it is that simple. It was that way for me. It wasn't age, but about being copacetic. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug

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    Mar 03, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    i have the same reaction seeing a 20-something girl with a man her dad's age when i see a 20-something guy with a man his dad's age.

    woody-allen-soon-yi.jpg
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    Mar 03, 2011 4:54 AM GMT
    I just like dating non-children. The 20-somethings I dated acted like they were 12. But I've been acting 50 ever since I was 9, so =o
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    Mar 03, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    if the age difference in guys you are into is over 15-20 years consistently.... I'd say things are suspect....

    It all depends on the situation. Lets see what happens when you are 40? icon_cool.gif
  • MisterT

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    Mar 03, 2011 5:01 AM GMT
    Hmmm, how should I feel when 18-20 y.o.'s hit on me then? 15+ year difference there.

    I like the attention from young hot/cute guys, but not sure if dating would work, there's a big difference in maturity and life experience. Not saying it can't work, if both people really want it, and there's chemistry, i won't judge them.
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    Mar 03, 2011 5:04 AM GMT
    I think that can be the case sometimes. With some of my friends (who are in their late teens/early twenties) that is the case.

    Some guys, for whatever reason, connect more with older guys. I for one just like to learn from them and talk to them about stuff because they have more experience. It's a really lovely and endearing connection but it's never been eroticized for me. ::shrug::
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    Mar 03, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidi have the same reaction seeing a 20-something girl with a man her dad's age when i see a 20-something guy with a man his dad's age.



    Well, I took out the pic because that wasn't an overtly bright comparison. We're not talking adopted children here.

    Right?

    We're talking two people (NON relatives, blood or legal) who get together, and both are of legal age and both are consenting adults. So let's start from there. And how it's really none of anyone's business but to applaud their success or mourn their failure. Life is already hard enough.


    -Doug
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    Mar 03, 2011 5:17 AM GMT
    I think it has to do with the maturity of the person, I am more attracted to older guys because they should be more mature (though the ones I've run into aren't) I'm not into a daddy/son situation. I have a dad and do not want to have sex with him. I think a huge age difference wouldn't work out (maybe 17+) but only because of the stages in life the people would be at. Do I have some emotional problems with my dad, yea, but he was still a great dad so I don't need another one.
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    Mar 03, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    ...i am only interested in men over 35 - but i do get a lot more offers from guys as young as 18 - and some young guys do get a bit pissed off when i say no -

    don't think it is a daddy complex - some guys are just attracted to more mature manly men - simple as that - icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 03, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    We're talking two people (NON relatives, blood or legal) who get together, and both are of legal age and both are consenting adults. So let's start from there. And how it's really none of anyone's business but to applaud their success or mourn their failure. Life is already hard enough.

    -Doug


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    That's a BIG thumbs up icon_biggrin.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Mar 03, 2011 5:38 AM GMT
    samurai111 saidI was discussing this topic on a forum, and some posters said that any 20-something guy who is attracted to men his dad's age is searching for emotional compensation or for a father/son relationship.

    I had a hypothesis that the reason may be the intellectual chemistry that may be present and that the younger guy may not find frequently with guys his age.

    What do you guys think of this subject?
    dude, please there is no intellectual chemistry between a guy in his 20's and a guy in his 40's and 50's. the only chemistry there is what happens in bed. i would lean more with what searching for a emotional compensation. i mean i am saying this always the case but in most instances it is just that. i might also say that most guys that is older suffers from ageism. i find it very disturbing when a guy will not deal with someone his own age especially when they are older.
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    Mar 03, 2011 5:38 AM GMT
    first, gross! secondly, hope you like chaning adult pull-ups when youre in your 50's and hes in his 80s or even 90's
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    Mar 03, 2011 5:44 AM GMT
    tuffguyndc saiddude, please there is no intellectual chemistry between a guy in his 20's and a guy in his 40's and 50's.


    Oh please, I can leave anyone twice or three times my age eating my intellectual dust.
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    Mar 03, 2011 5:47 AM GMT
    jrunner25 saidfirst, gross! secondly, hope you like chaning adult pull-ups when youre in your 50's and hes in his 80s or even 90's


    If that's your criteria, then you don't understand love and what it does.


    Think, you could meet a great guy your age that has a serious stroke 6 months after you commit to him. You could be in the same situation as what you described. What then?

    -Doug
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    Mar 03, 2011 5:54 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    jrunner25 saidfirst, gross! secondly, hope you like chaning adult pull-ups when youre in your 50's and hes in his 80s or even 90's


    If that's your criteria, then you don't understand love and what it does.


    Think, you could meet a great guy your age that has a serious stroke 6 months after you commit to him. You could be in the same situation as what you described. What then?

    -Doug


    i dont think thats a criteria at all. I just know the reality. being a nurse, I've taken care of my share of invalids. I do it with the utmost respect and compassion for the person because I'm well aware that every person is a life. I value their story and them as a person.

    that being said, what kind of guy would fall in love with someone who is their dad's age purposefully? its not even a sense of aesthetics why i would never do that. I'm a smart guy, i hold my own in conversations with anyone however, I'm confident that my tastes, desires and dreams are still in the planning stage. A man who at the age of 65 (my dad's age) is still looking for what i'm looking for (such as where to settle down, having kids, travelling the world aimlessly) would strike me as immature and unfulfilled for his age.
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    Mar 03, 2011 6:00 AM GMT
    I couldn't date a guy my dad's age. That would be weird for me, and it would probably become burdensome for the other guy in the end. I do see very attractive men on this site quite often who could be old enough to be my dad.

    As for others, even though it's weird (like Lagerfeld and his boy toy) to us, I would just say "whatever floats your boat" because if they're happy and not bothering the rest of us, then why bother to question?
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    Mar 03, 2011 6:03 AM GMT
    "Old enough to be your Dad" is relative.

    References:

    1) My own private Idaho
    2) Any trailer park
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    Mar 03, 2011 6:04 AM GMT
    jrunner25 said
    meninlove said
    jrunner25 saidfirst, gross! secondly, hope you like chaning adult pull-ups when youre in your 50's and hes in his 80s or even 90's


    If that's your criteria, then you don't understand love and what it does.


    Think, you could meet a great guy your age that has a serious stroke 6 months after you commit to him. You could be in the same situation as what you described. What then?

    -Doug


    i dont think thats a criteria at all. I just know the reality. being a nurse, I've taken care of my share of invalids. I do it with the utmost respect and compassion for the person because I'm well aware that every person is a life. I value their story and them as a person.

    that being said, what kind of guy would fall in love with someone who is their dad's age purposefully? its not even a sense of aesthetics why i would never do that. I'm a smart guy, i hold my own in conversations with anyone however, I'm confident that my tastes, desires and dreams are still in the planning stage. A man who at the age of 65 (my dad's age) is still looking for what i'm looking for (such as where to settle down, having kids, travelling the world aimlessly) would strike me as immature and unfulfilled for his age.


    Love knows no bounds.
    Older people would LOVE to travel the world aimlessly with a young stud AND have the stud change their adult diapers. Alas, we can't have it all...

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    Mar 03, 2011 6:04 AM GMT
    jrunner25 said "A man who at the age of 65 (my dad's age) is still looking for what i'm looking for (such as where to settle down, having kids, travelling the world aimlessly) would strike me as immature and unfulfilled for his age."

    But you're assuming that's what two other people would want. There are a million varieties of relationships and what makes them tick. You and I can't berate them, anymore than we would like someone berating our own. Look, I do volunteer palliative care, so with this quote in mind,

    "I just know the reality. being a nurse, I've taken care of my share of invalids. I do it with the utmost respect and compassion for the person because I'm well aware that every person is a life. I value their story and them as a person."

    ..I will say that what you've just described above is deliberately caring about someone, so what's the point of this part..
    "what kind of guy would fall in love with someone who is their dad's age purposefully?"

    ..and the answer is, that's what love does.


    -Doug


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    Mar 03, 2011 6:07 AM GMT
    FlibbertyGibbet said
    jrunner25 said
    meninlove said
    jrunner25 saidfirst, gross! secondly, hope you like chaning adult pull-ups when youre in your 50's and hes in his 80s or even 90's


    If that's your criteria, then you don't understand love and what it does.


    Think, you could meet a great guy your age that has a serious stroke 6 months after you commit to him. You could be in the same situation as what you described. What then?

    -Doug


    i dont think thats a criteria at all. I just know the reality. being a nurse, I've taken care of my share of invalids. I do it with the utmost respect and compassion for the person because I'm well aware that every person is a life. I value their story and them as a person.

    that being said, what kind of guy would fall in love with someone who is their dad's age purposefully? its not even a sense of aesthetics why i would never do that. I'm a smart guy, i hold my own in conversations with anyone however, I'm confident that my tastes, desires and dreams are still in the planning stage. A man who at the age of 65 (my dad's age) is still looking for what i'm looking for (such as where to settle down, having kids, travelling the world aimlessly) would strike me as immature and unfulfilled for his age.


    Love knows no bounds.
    Older people would LOVE to travel the world aimlessly with a young stud AND have the stud change their adult diapers. Alas, we can't have it all...



    lol, if a 65 yo man can keep up with me on a hike, go surfing with me in bali, run half marathons, play volleyball (competitive not some park rec stuff), hit a new city without sleep for a weekend... by all means, apply for the position as mr other half. highly doubtful there's such a man.
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    Mar 03, 2011 6:08 AM GMT
    I don't get the sexual appeal of the older guy, honestly. If you're young, why not play around with hot young bodies that wanna play with you? And I know that "here on RJ there's some guys in their 40s that are hot blah blah blah" and that's true, but they're prized for their youthful qualities (or at least that's what I'm guessing). I guess there's their inner sex appeal? icon_question.gif
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    Mar 03, 2011 6:12 AM GMT
    meninlove saidjrunner25 said "A man who at the age of 65 (my dad's age) is still looking for what i'm looking for (such as where to settle down, having kids, travelling the world aimlessly) would strike me as immature and unfulfilled for his age."

    But you're assuming that's what two other people would want. There are a million varieties of relationships and what makes them tick. You and I can't berate them, anymore than we would like someone berating our own. Look, I do volunteer palliative care, so with this quote in mind,

    "I just know the reality. being a nurse, I've taken care of my share of invalids. I do it with the utmost respect and compassion for the person because I'm well aware that every person is a life. I value their story and them as a person."

    ..I will say that what you've just described above is deliberately caring about someone, so what's the point of this part..
    "what kind of guy would fall in love with someone who is their dad's age purposefully?"

    ..and the answer is, that's what love does.


    -Doug




    um, love isn't blind. eventually the fact that a young person isnt in the same stage of life is going to catch up. i love you lala land thinking though. its a fact, we all go through the stages of life and no one is immune to them. its not normal to date someone twice older than you. you can try to justify it but the reason why we don't often see it is because its rare to find a congruent lifestyle between to people who have such a large life experience gap between them.