Did I just date a total weirdo with a personality disorder

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2011 11:23 PM GMT
    Hi guys

    I'm not sure- dated a guy one off- who was late to begin with, didn't apologise for being late. Offers me drink after drink- says he really likes me, kisses me- agrees to meet on saturday- then texts me when I get home that I didn't buy him a drink and he won't meet me again!

    Yet he sends a totally different vibe! I don't know what to make of it!!!

    Are all gay men so screwed up? Or am I just unlucky??
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    Mar 03, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    blactor saidHi guys

    I'm not sure- dated a guy one off- who was late to begin with, didn't apologise for being late. Offers me drink after drink- says he really likes me, kisses me- agrees to meet on saturday- then texts me when I get home that I didn't buy him a drink and he won't meet me again!

    Yet he sends a totally different vibe! I don't know what to make of it!!!

    Are all gay men so screwed up? Or am I just unlucky??


    This is ONE gay man - not even a decent representation of ALL gay men. There willbe many more like this - and they will become funny in retrospect. When I was single I called them "Hell Dates." Afterward I would call my best friend with a Hell Date Alert and we would go over all the gory details. The real fun was in telling the story.

    Chalk it up to experience, laugh it off and move on to the next. The ratio will improve in your favor the more you get out there. Gay guys are still human and there is a certain number that are just not compatable. Straight dudes ask the same question about chix.

    Be glad he displayed his "quirks" on the first date and not dinner at your Mother's house LOL!!!!! Don't over-analyze, you will just make yourself crazy. With time you will be able to weed out many of the crazies well in advance - although no one is 100 per cent.

    No you are NOT unlucky. Unlucky would be spending 6 or 7 years with this guy.

    It gets better - learn to laugh at the bumps in the road!!!!
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    Mar 03, 2011 11:57 PM GMT
    Thanks mate

    I should not have to be learning this all now. I have had good dates and bad dates but this guy was Texas Chainsaw Massacre date. Eeeeeew. Made me feel I was the weirdo.
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    Mar 04, 2011 12:01 AM GMT
    blactor saidAre all gay men so screwed up?
    No. Some are worse. icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 04, 2011 12:06 AM GMT
    Thanks Paul! icon_smile.gif haha

    That guy was ASSHOLE No 1. I think I'm naïve. And I've done quite a few dates but I think FIRE is the answer. Douse myself in petrol, light a match and run towards these insects screaming "freeeeeedoooom"

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    Mar 04, 2011 1:48 AM GMT
    Question is, did he get you drunk? He can't be the worst if he actually bought all that alcohol.

    Now if you HAD bought him a bunch of drinks and he claims you didn't, that's medical journal worthy.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Mar 04, 2011 1:53 AM GMT
    So sorry. I thought I stayed home last night. Hope you enjoyed the drinks.
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    Mar 04, 2011 1:58 AM GMT
    come on... let's tell the truth now

    OP, almost all gay men are just as weird. There's no use pretending icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 04, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    Everyone has experienced bad dates, it's not limited to gay men...go ask your fag hag and I'm sure she has a dozen stories about the freaks out there she has had first dates with. It's universal.

    The "are all gay men.. bladedy blah blah" is beginning to sound like a broken record.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 04, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    blactor saidHi guys

    I'm not sure- dated a guy one off- who was late to begin with, didn't apologise for being late. Offers me drink after drink- says he really likes me, kisses me- agrees to meet on saturday- then texts me when I get home that I didn't buy him a drink and he won't meet me again!

    Yet he sends a totally different vibe! I don't know what to make of it!!!

    Are all gay men so screwed up? Or am I just unlucky??



    Just take it as a good experience! in time you will learn to detect and weed out the good one from the bad! and please don't let a series of bad experiences ruin your chances to find the good ones that are out there. Just move on but never ever settle for less.


    Leandro ♥
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 04, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    Sounds like somebody I wouldn't care to see again. Take it as a lesson learned, it sounds like you were polite and reasonable. I would have been perplexed as well....
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    Mar 04, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    blactor saidHi guys

    I'm not sure- dated a guy one off- who was late to begin with, didn't apologise for being late. Offers me drink after drink- says he really likes me, kisses me- agrees to meet on saturday- then texts me when I get home that I didn't buy him a drink and he won't meet me again!

    Yet he sends a totally different vibe! I don't know what to make of it!!!

    Are all gay men so screwed up? Or am I just unlucky??


    I've yet to date a man who wasn't screwed up. So, from my perspective, yes.
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    Mar 04, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    Just to get some understanding here.. You say "offers me drink after drink" what is "offers" did he buy all your drinks. Did you at least offer to buy the second or third round or did you just accept them as they came saying nothing.

    When you're out with someone it's sort of expected that if they buy you a round you pay for the second round UNLESS they are vehement about buying them all that evening and refuse to let you pay, then you can sit back and not worry about rounders.

    Not excusing what he said but sometimes there's more to a story than what we're told here.
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    Mar 04, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    haha clearly his loss. You AND the alcohol. icon_wink.gif
  • omgazn

    Posts: 342

    Mar 04, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    Lol. agreed with DDT.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2011 4:53 AM GMT
    blactor saidAre all gay men so screwed up? Or am I just unlucky??

    Unlucky. Gay men, to my experience, do have a high incidence of personality disorders. I attribute it to gay-hostile societal pressures. Even here on RJ you can read the homophobic self-loathers, who support anti-gay politics & positions.

    At the same time, there are plenty of quality gay men out there. It just takes some work, and experience, to find them.

    So you just gotta try harder to find the good guys. But take heart, they do exist. In the London area you shouldn't have any real problem, just a matter of sorting out the losers from the winners. But winners you have in abundance. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 04, 2011 5:00 AM GMT
    I think it just goes with the territory. You even see that on RJ. One minute a member will post a very positive message, sometimes self-effacing and gracious, then the next minutes will be a rambling diatribe. Sometimes a combination of personality disorders and possibly a drunken binge.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Mar 04, 2011 5:00 AM GMT
    ha ha ha ha i am sorry to hear about your bad date. i hate to say it but you should get use to seeing stuff like this. however, like one of the others responders said it does get better. i think you just have to make sure you do not get jaded in the process.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 04, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    beneful1 saidJust to get some understanding here.. You say "offers me drink after drink" what is "offers" did he buy all your drinks. Did you at least offer to buy the second or third round or did you just accept them as they came saying nothing.

    When you're out with someone it's sort of expected that if they buy you a round you pay for the second round UNLESS they are vehement about buying them all that evening and refuse to let you pay, then you can sit back and not worry about rounders.

    Not excusing what he said but sometimes there's more to a story than what we're told here.


    I have to agree on this one! good observation Beneful1! if a guy becomes interested in me such as in the OP's situation,, and he pays for all my drinks, it is only fair that I out of courtesy do the same for him. To be generous is a wonderful quality to have, but showing gratitude is twice as nice to share with those who are generous!!


    Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    blactor said
    "Are all gay men so screwed up? Or am I just unlucky??"

    You've just been a little unlucky, if you want to look at it that way. Or, you could be simply discovering those that can't, and by knowing them will find a way to recognize those that can. icon_wink.gif
  • needleninja

    Posts: 713

    Mar 04, 2011 5:12 AM GMT
    hahaha drama queens.

    such a turn off. X3
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings.

    Definition by Mayo Clinic
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    Mar 04, 2011 7:23 AM GMT
    Fair point bout the buying of the drinks- but I do think tho, that his reaction was unreasonable. Rather mention it etc. To then kiss me etc and say how wonderful I am etc shows the issue goes way beyond buying drinks. Mental problem.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2011 9:03 AM GMT
    Oh well, you live and learn.

    Thanks beautifuil people. You all made brilliant points.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 04, 2011 1:12 PM GMT
    blactor saidFair point bout the buying of the drinks- but I do think tho, that his reaction was unreasonable. Rather mention it etc. To then kiss me etc and say how wonderful I am etc shows the issue goes way beyond buying drinks. Mental problem.


    Good point about the kissing part! althou I personally will be relunctant to kiss a total stranger as there are many contagious deseases you can catch from it too!! people need to understand that we live in a much more open society and that now more then ever our melting pot consists of new citizens whose medical history and resistance to viruses is virtually unkown and not closely studied or monitored by the medical community or the government; that said one have to be very careful who you become in contact with these days. Yes while kissing may sound like an innocent and harmless thing to do, it too may have some very serious consequences!!


    Leandro ♥