Too scared to talk to the hot guy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2011 4:01 PM GMT
    Being back in the single/dating world again reminds me of so many things I had forgotten about, this being one.

    At a somewhat local gay bar here that ive been going to on saturday nights to dance my troubles away for the time being, theres always this absolutley beautiful magnificant guy dancing with his shirt off & alone.

    He is so well prportioned, ripped to the bone, has an ass that would make j. Lo jealous & a smile that melts your heart! But hes always alone.:.i used to see guys like this all the time when going out before.

    I really think its because they are so beautiful everyone is afraid to talk to them for fear of rejection. I remember 1 time years ago I was clubbing. Saw a 6'5" muscle bound God by his self on the dance floor...finally I went up to him, we talked, he was so nice!

    Guess who got his #? Lol! I did! I will even say we dated & he was going to law school!

    Anyway back to the present....I finally said fuck it & approached this guy while he was getting a drink, introduced myself & etc. We talked for awhile, danced & had a great time while all eyes were on us, it was hilarious. The guy was really nice to.

    Question is: do you think the hotter a guy is the more unapproachable people thinks he is for fear of rejection?

    Ive seen both sides where some guys hate the attn they get & then other hot guys eat it up. I find it hilarious though that these hot men are out there dancing alone & no 1 will talk to them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2011 4:58 PM GMT
    So THAT'S why no one comes up to me at the bar icon_razz.gif Haha just messin.

    But I will say that I, personally, have not approached a guy I think is very hot, due to the fear of rejection. But I just sort of learned last night that I need to get over that.

    I was at the local bar that becomes "Rainbow Room" on Thursday nights and this was my first time going there alone (I usually go with a group of friends) and I had no clue what to do! I saw a few guys that were pretty hot and yet I didn't do anything about it.

    I ended up grabbing a drink, talking to a friend I knew for a few minutes and leaving. But if this is the case (the whole fear of rejection thing) then I am definitely going to muster up the confidence next week and talk to someone I'm interested in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2011 5:05 PM GMT
    Ah, Red, I swear you're so cute from your posts I just wanna hug and squeeze you til youre eyes bulge. icon_lol.gif

    To answer you, as someone who's a skyscraper and an unintentional attention-grabber, I get plenty of stares, but no one approaches me, since I'm pretty intimidating. And Im just fine with that--I'd much rather be the chaser. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2011 8:54 PM GMT
    TawlBlond saidAh, Red, I swear you're so cute from your posts I just wanna hug and squeeze you til youre eyes bulge. icon_lol.gif

    To answer you, as someone who's a skyscraper and an unintentional attention-grabber, I get plenty of stares, but no one approaches me, since I'm pretty intimidating. And Im just fine with that--I'd much rather be the chaser. icon_wink.gif



    Aaawww thanks man! I realize some guys may not want to be bothered so I approach them with an introduction, usually a compliment & then wait for a response. 9 x out of 10 the hot guy will continue the conversation & etc.

    Its just amazing to me these hot guys like you tawlblond are out there dancing all alone! I gotta say I love the view though but eventually have to go over to them.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2011 9:11 PM GMT
    It's those eyes of yours; you hypnotize them and they fall under your spell. icon_wink.gif

    And thanks, but Im not hot, just tend to grab the eye because I tower over everyone. And therein lies my issue when Im out; I hate having to lean down to hear people over the music. That plus I love to dance more than talk, so I'd rather sweat it out on the floor than chat.

    I'd stop dancing long enough to have a nice convo with you though...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2011 9:41 PM GMT
    TawlBlond saidIt's those eyes of yours; you hypnotize them and they fall under your spell. icon_wink.gif

    And thanks, but Im not hot, just tend to grab the eye because I tower over everyone. And therein lies my issue when Im out; I hate having to lean down to hear people over the music. That plus I love to dance more than talk, so I'd rather sweat it out on the floor than chat.

    I'd stop dancing long enough to have a nice convo with you though...


    Trust me....your hot! I myself am usually out on the dance floor more than any where else in the bar. Thats how ive met most of the guys ive dated, lol.

    Thanks for the compliment man & I would love to have you lean down to talk to me out on the dance floor, I definitely wouldnt let you back up, lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 1:20 AM GMT
    I don't know that I feel that I'm a "hot" guy but I find people look at me quite often and never approach. Everywhere. Bars. Gym. Subway. From my end though, it's frustrating. I tend to think people look at me because something's off or something...I'm really not sure. It'd be great if someone approached me, but to be fair, even I know I don't look to be the most approachable guy. I'm not sure why...I've just been told I'm not. Heh.

    Conversely, I've always had trouble talking to someone whom I find attractive. It's weird because in most aspects of my life I'm pretty assertive...but when it comes to matters of the heart or physical attraction, I can be somewhat passive.

    I admire your guts, redbull...but you're not ugly or anything, so if you're confident, of course you should approach someone you find attractive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 1:35 AM GMT
    I'm nervous to talk to guys who I find attractive. They're always really hot and I'm always thinking "there's no way". Maybe tonight will be different. It's been ages since I went out, but I think maybe I'll give it another shot tonight to see what happens. Life is too short to wait and be afraid.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 3:15 AM GMT
    redbull said
    TawlBlond saidIt's those eyes of yours; you hypnotize them and they fall under your spell. icon_wink.gif

    And thanks, but Im not hot, just tend to grab the eye because I tower over everyone. And therein lies my issue when Im out; I hate having to lean down to hear people over the music. That plus I love to dance more than talk, so I'd rather sweat it out on the floor than chat.

    I'd stop dancing long enough to have a nice convo with you though...


    Trust me....your hot! I myself am usually out on the dance floor more than any where else in the bar. Thats how ive met most of the guys ive dated, lol.

    Thanks for the compliment man & I would love to have you lean down to talk to me out on the dance floor, I definitely wouldnt let you back up, lol



    Ok.... ok..... You two go get a room.

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    probably.

    i like nice hot guys. they are the best. especially the ones that do not assume you want to get in their pants. i think thats why when I interact with straight guys i end up thinking they are super hot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 3:51 AM GMT
    I used to have a similar mindset. But I realized that by succumbing to that mindset you wind up sabotaging yourself anyway. When I first started talking to guys I would just tell them how hot or cute they all were. I did this because its what people did to me and so I just assumed it was what I was supposed to do. Now I see things way differently. I've found that the best way to talk to a hot guy is to observe something about him that has nothing to do with his physical attractiveness. It's a refreshing deviation from what he normally hears and will make him want to talk to you. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Mar 05, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    Just drink a couple of beers and go for it! With some liquor (however you write it) in me I am not afraid of anyone! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    there is no way in hell that i approach a cute/hot guy anywhere. My gut is proportional to my dentist floss eyes. icon_neutral.gif
  • MisterT

    Posts: 1272

    Mar 05, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    ddt8665 saidthere is no way in hell that i approach a cute/hot guy anywhere. My gut is proportional to my dentist floss eyes. icon_neutral.gif


    I stopped being afraid of approaching hot guys. I'm also not expecting anything when i do talk to them. There's a couple hot guys in this thread I would totally walk up to and say hi icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 4:35 AM GMT
    TawlBlond saidIt's those eyes of yours; you hypnotize them and they fall under your spell. icon_wink.gif

    And thanks, but Im not hot, just tend to grab the eye because I tower over everyone. And therein lies my issue when Im out; I hate having to lean down to hear people over the music. That plus I love to dance more than talk, so I'd rather sweat it out on the floor than chat.

    I'd stop dancing long enough to have a nice convo with you though...



    I hear you !! I can't hear any of the conversation in a club unless I'm bent over with my head in the middle of it. People think I'm ignoring them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    MisterT said
    ddt8665 saidthere is no way in hell that i approach a cute/hot guy anywhere. My gut is proportional to my dentist floss eyes. icon_neutral.gif


    I stopped being afraid of approaching hot guys. I'm also not expecting anything when i do talk to them. There's a couple hot guys in this thread I would totally walk up to and say hi icon_wink.gif


    haha dont mind me, im gonna grab this 'wink' as a compliment icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 5:01 AM GMT
    I cannot talk to a guy I find attractive even if my life depended on it..

    There's this kid in my class who looks exactly like Andy Roddick- really hot (and ridiculously smart)- and I told myself I won't be the first to say "hi" or introduce myself- although I normally am the type who would introduce myself to others first.

    Two weeks ago, we were at a charity auction, his parents won the winning bid (to some artwork I dont care to remember) and since I was a student organizer, I had to walk over and hand them the claim form. He was seated next to them in his spiffy bowtie and when I handed it to them, he took it from me, and winked icon_redface.gif . I turned around, and tripped on the carpet. I heard a few chuckles but I didn't have the courage to look back- it's prolly him laughing at me..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    u gotta do it, and dont look nervous! icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 5:22 AM GMT
    criduchat saidI cannot talk to a guy I find attractive even if my life depended on it..

    There's this kid in my class who looks exactly like Andy Roddick- really hot (and ridiculously smart)- and I told myself I won't be the first to say "hi" or introduce myself- although I normally am the type who would introduce myself to others first.

    Two weeks ago, we were at a charity auction, his parents won the winning bid (to some artwork I dont care to remember) and since I was a student organizer, I had to walk over and hand them the claim form. He was seated next to them in his spiffy bowtie and when I handed it to them, he took it from me, and winked icon_redface.gif . I turned around, and tripped on the carpet. I heard a few chuckles but I didn't have the courage to look back- it's prolly him laughing at me..



    HeHe, that's kind of embarassing BUT he winked at you, maybe he's interested;D
    And I don't approach hot guys, Im too shy and nervous o'.'o
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 6:09 AM GMT
    The first time I went clubbing, nobody approached me or even looked at me. However, I went clubbing on my 19th birthday, and a drunk guy bought me a jaggerbomb, a girl grabbed my ass, I was ground like coffee by a guy I go to college to, and I was offered a booty call by a guy old enough to be my dad. It's hit or miss in my experience. The guy probably had one of those nights if that's the case. However, you're right, redbull. It really doesn't hurt to talk, since the worst that can happen is rejection and that's no big deal.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Mar 05, 2011 6:50 AM GMT
    You know I have this same problem.. I am not saying that I am hot. I do however get quite a few stares... Whenever I go to the club I am one of those guys that will be dancing by themselves. It is rare that people approach me face to face however. What usually happens though is I get a message the next day or two saying. Hey I saw you at the club. I think you are hot.....
    here are two messages I got this past week when I went out on saturday. 1 guy actually said I look mean..... WTF...

    Message 1.....
    GUY1: i saw you at toucans.....you have a hot body babe

    MixLeanMachine: Hey man thanks for the compliment. Did I meet you? If not next time say. Hi. I would like to think i'm a nice guy. My name is Ryan btw.

    GUY1: we didnt meet but you saw me that i was looking at you all the time.....i was dancing with my friend....... i thought you were a mean guy,,,,,,but i hope you are a nice guy

    Message 2.....


    Guy2: hey what up
    i saw u at toucand and i think u have hot body,, can u train me

    MixLeanMachine: Hey man, thanks for the sweet compliment, but I will be honest. I wouldn't know how to train someone >.< ... If you see me next time. Feel free to say hi. I am not an asshole icon_smile.gif .. My name is Ryan btw.

    Guy2: Hi Ryan, thanks for the response.. You are very welcome.. Im a honest person and i taught u were hot... what are u up 2.

    I get these kind of " I saw you at the club" messages more often then I get hit on at the club. WTF.... We'll at least I am getting hit on... When people do approach me however I am already drawn to them maybe not in a sexual way but drawn to them just because they have the confidence to actually talk to me...

    When I see a hot guy alone that I am attracted to I go up to them and say whats up. I am NOT afraid of being rejected. I have been REJECTED so many times, but hey at least I know..... No Regrets... I used to be in sales and it more a numbers game to me .. Sure If I get rejected blank amount of times... but... someone is going to say YES...
    By going after guys like this, it has allowed me to get with the guys that I personally found to be attractive or hot.

    I say JUST DO IT!!!










  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Mar 05, 2011 6:52 AM GMT
    redbull said theres always this absolutley beautiful magnificant guy dancing with his shirt off & alone.




    I don't know about others, but if I see a guy dancing with their shirt off it's an immediate turnoff, so maybe that's why he's alone...
  • Jericophantom...

    Posts: 185

    Mar 05, 2011 7:26 AM GMT
    There arent that many hot guys to me in the world any more cause you can have a banging body and a dumbass mind and I hate that if our bodies matched out hearts some of us would be so damn fine while others would be Ugly as fuck thats all Im saying
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Mar 05, 2011 7:31 AM GMT
    I agree with Aqua. While I was driving today I was thinking the same thing and I thought to myself would I really like what I would see???- Scary thought really.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2011 7:34 AM GMT
    Muster up your courage and start a convo. with them.

    I am pretty sure there are people who think about you the same way you think about that really hot man you mentioned.

    I am sure they are feeling the same thing as you.

    So if you want something, go get it! icon_wink.gif Don't expect others to do the hard work for ya bud.


    Just my two cents.