Argh! Life's timing sucks!

  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    Mar 05, 2011 2:07 PM GMT
    Just a vent really.

    My ex turned out to be less than I had hoped and put me off the idea of a relationship for a while, the next guy I met turned out to be a bit childish and, as I recently found out, a meth head.

    Then there's this other guy, he's sweet, giving, has a cool job (photographer) and is really great, we're just friends even though there is a spark.
    Tonight we went to one of his exhibitions and whilst hanging out with a group of his friends I realized that I totally want to date him...except for the fact that in two weeks I move to a city 7 hours away.
    I knew there was something there but I tried to ignore it, knowing I would be leaving in a few's just typical that it's starring me in the face right now.

    I've done long distance relationships before and I'm not keen on ever doing it again, plus he's not out to his family so returning here we'd have nowhere to be alone... also, he used to live in the city I'm about to move to.

    Seems like life is determined to make this a "close but no cigar" kinda deal.icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2011 3:32 PM GMT
    maybe u need to take a chill pill from the dating scene for a while and stop trying so hard to date everyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    Call me a stupid overly optimistic fool icon_biggrin.gif

    But I think in the big scheme of things there's a reason for everything.... including the bad stuff

    Then some smart ass will probably come along and say: What about the holocaust and I'll have to retract... but hey I already said it... so...

    yeah that could be the one exception
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    ...just date him! Life is short and there is no reason to harbor a regret for something you never even attempted. Let your heart override your brain this one time. You just never know... icon_smile.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 14079

    Mar 05, 2011 8:33 PM GMT
    Your right long distant relationships don't work...Take some time and enjoy being single...That new city your moving to may contain your new bf...BUD
  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    Mar 05, 2011 11:39 PM GMT
    After my ex I took a few months out, a relationship was the last thing I wanted, I had a good amount of time for myself to work out what I wanted.

    The meth head popped into my life about 5/6 after my previous relationship, we fooled around but didn't really date.

    This guy came along just before Christmas and at first I didn't think about him in that way, then we went to an onsen (Japanese natural hot spring) in the snow together and things started from there.
    I've made sure not to lead him on though, I knew I was leaving in a short while so I didn't want to tart something I couldn't finish - I didn't want to hurt him or myself.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Mar 05, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    If not getting hurt or hurting is the prime reason for not dating some one, then, frankly, you should never date ANYone. Ever. Period.

    Date him, stop predicting and start living and taking a chance on the long shots.
  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    Mar 06, 2011 12:14 AM GMT
    MuscleComeBack saidIf not getting hurt or hurting is the prime reason for not dating some one, then, frankly, you should never date ANYone. Ever. Period.

    It's not.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Mar 06, 2011 2:43 PM GMT
    Then date him. You NEVER know what will come of your life if you don't turn and face what you're feeling and give it a shot, man.

    Four weeks or four hours is so much better than FORever regretting not having taken the chance and spent what little time you had with him.

    He may be the one, he may not be the one, but you have to risk something to win at anything.

    You like him. Say something, and do something. Torturous waiting and longing is just a waste of good time you could be spending enjoying each other. Nothing in life is guaranteed, sport. Trust me on this. Take a deep breath and dive in.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16412

    Mar 06, 2011 2:51 PM GMT
    I'd say some casual dating with the dude. Make sure you see his pros and cons in his life and that you are cool with it..... don't get serious if you find out you found another "meth head".... or something else as bad. Just take your time and get to know him, no need to rush.

    And don't knock the long distance thing. There are examples of success there as well.

  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    Mar 10, 2011 1:09 PM GMT
    I guess, cos I think he's a nice guy, I don't wanna dick him about, I was clear about my leaving where we live now in order to keep he fully aware of the situation.

    Next few months are gonna be hectic and sometimes I'd love to be back in a relationship and then other times I love the freedom I have, gym anytime I want (or lounging in with a movie).

    I do like him and hooking up when we get the chance would be cool but I don't want him to get hurt. I guess I could tell him and just see how he reacts, worst comes to worst we just stay friends.

    There are a few issues and I just needed to get them off my chest.