If you're gay and you want to have a fulfilling relationship with someone, try you're best to be White or Mexican

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2011 11:54 PM GMT
    I came across another thread discussing racism in the gay community and I felt compelled to join RealJock and share my thoughts on this topic. I'm a proud Black man and my only fault is not being White (or Mexican) because I have been rejected so many times I stopped counting... Why? Because and I'm Black, and I've been told, You're a great guy, I would love to date you but I'm just not into Blacks. If you weren't Black. You don't know what it does to your self'esteem to know that the only reason guy reject you is because you're Black.

    Sometimes I wish I was Mexican since they're the only non-White men that seem to be universally accepted by all the guys regardless of race, my two best friends who are Black are dating Mexicans and although they have dated brrothers in the past, they're last three BF's have been Mexicans.

    I'm not saying that Mexicans don't experience racism because they do but they seem to be benefited by their "exoticness" because they're exotic and hot while we're exotic and ugly.

    I've been contemplating suicide because I don't think I'll ever be with someone just because of my skin color. The last guy I liked and wanted to date said he felt the same way about me, he was Black, but then he stopped talking to me and when I confronted him, he said that he only dated Mexicans and he wanted to give me a chance but that he just couldn't do it and he was... Black!!!!

    So if you're gay and don't want to be discriminated against by your fellow gays the best you can do is be:

    1.White- which seems to be the gold standard
    2. Mexican- seen as exotic, spicy and hot
    3. Asians- while they're in the same boat as us, some Whites actually seek Asians
    4. Blacks- undesirable, good friend material but not boyfriend material, why? because we're Black
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    Mar 06, 2011 1:24 AM GMT
    I'm white and think blacks are HOT!!! icon_razz.gif So don't give up. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Mar 06, 2011 1:26 AM GMT
    You will get answers ranging from "my boyfriend is black" to "I'm just not attracted to blacks." Nothing will be solved. Statistics has already proven your point. Your bitter feelings will remain.
    All that matters is to improve your own personality. Develop confidence in yourself.

    Either you will find someone and you will learn to be happy or you will find someone and you will not be happy. Nothing people can say here will change anything.
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    Mar 06, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    thattheaterguy said

    1.White- which seems to be the gold standard


    The irony amongst 'white' men is that it seems to be generally considered more attractive / desirable to have tan - making them less white and more black in a sense!

    I am very white (and the sun hates me so I burn very easily). Because of this I often experience negative comments (predominantly from white men) that I am too white!

    I know lots of guys that think black guys are hot and you have the advantage of more readily showing muscle definition (which wont show on me unless Im very ripped!)

    Chin up mate - you just havent met the right guys yet icon_smile.gif

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    Mar 06, 2011 8:06 AM GMT
    Dude I've hit up SO many black guys, & they shoot me down because I'm a vanilla face.
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Mar 06, 2011 9:13 AM GMT
    Dude, if you think that guys who are Mexican, or guys who are white do not get rejected, you're way off!

    Moreover, consider what you've said: you feel rejected because you say no one wants to date a black guy...but you know that's not accurate at all. Your friends who are black and dating Mexican guys are proof that black men can be as beautiful as any other guys.

    From what you're saying, it sounds like you're in the middle of a dating slump, and with your friends finding boyfriends, it no doubt has you looking at yourself and feeling like there's got to be something wrong with you because you're flying solo.

    In a sense, I suspect that what separates you from your friends is that your friends are happy, confident and upbeat, whereas at this point you're sensitive, insecure, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you're likely also a little depressed.

    It's entirely possible that the guys you've met who rejected you did so because you weren't what they were looking for...however the reality is that most of us encounter that on a daily basis. It's also possible that some people who perhaps glanced at you sensed that you were insecure and down, and that discouraged them from approaching you.

    Find yourself...find out what you want to do with your life, and enjoy it! When you're enjoying yourself, and are happy and upbeat, that's when guys approach you!

    Find a place to volunteer, and get to know new people...they could well be your outlets for potential dates down the road

    And on an interesting note, I actually had a fellow reject me because I'm white. He was white too...older than me, gorgeous, very sexy...and we were good friends and got along very well. But he'd never date me or anything, as he one day explained, because he's not into dating other white guys.

    For him, South Asian men were what he desired so completely...Indian, Pakistani or Tamil...though he'd also date Arabic men or men from South or Central America as well, provided they weren't white. White guys, Asian guys or black guys...he just wasn't interested.

    Rejection hurts...especially if you take it very personally. I promise you, everyone gets rejected...but if you're in the middle of a dating slump, stop looking and figure out what you can do to make you happy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2011 9:13 AM GMT
    thattheaterguy said1.White- which seems to be the gold standard
    2. Mexican- seen as exotic, spicy and hot
    3. Asians- while they're in the same boat as us, some Whites actually seek Asians
    4. Blacks- undesirable, good friend material but not boyfriend material, why? because we're Black
    1. In porn and fashion, that's correct.
    2. Or you could be Brazilian, aka "Southern Mexican" (inside joke with Brazilian friends/coworkers).
    3. Yum...
    4. Yum...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2011 10:02 AM GMT
    sounds like someone has a very twisted outlook on life.........Keithicon_wink.gif
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    Mar 24, 2011 9:51 AM GMT
    OMG I also ways thought, once you have black you will never go back!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2011 3:19 PM GMT
    OP, I know that racism exists and is everywhere. I have lived places where I, as a white guy, was subject to it - it was very eye-opening.

    However, unless you're the most beautiful, youngest, richest and smartest person in the room, there is ALWAYS a reason for a guy to go for someone else other than you. We all do the best we can with what we have - that's all we can do. We can't control what others think so we might as well be as happy as we can.

    bazungu said
    The irony amongst 'white' men is that it seems to be generally considered more attractive / desirable to have tan - making them less white and more black in a sense!

    I am very white (and the sun hates me so I burn very easily). Because of this I often experience negative comments (predominantly from white men) that I am too white!


    Your skin will thank you when you are older. I have fair skin and grew up thinking tans and even burns were fine - those of you who are "of a certain age," remember Hawaiian Tropic coconut oil with -0- SPF? Now I suffer for it with sun damage and many visits to the dermatologist for various reasons. I now think that pale guys are really smart, and hot. icon_wink.gif

    Whether you're black or white or anything else, the natural color of your skin is beautiful!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    The answers to this thread just fit so very perfectly with the blog Stuff White People Do

    And particularly this post:
    Dismiss non-white explanations of racism

    http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/2010/01/dismiss-non-white-explanations-of.html

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    What do you think LA has to do with this?

    I lived in LA and found it extremely difficult to meet men. Their first three questions were... What do you do? Where do you live? And of course...What do you DRIVE? When I first moved there, I drove an inexpensive car and was ignored. When I traded up into a late model douchbag luxury car, I immediately attracted dozens of tedious, superficial people. Which would you prefer?

    But to address your issue...so many guys have a range of 'types' but there is a following for every type. Visit any personals websites, and you can often search guys by the races they prefer. There are specific websites catering to Black men and their admirers.

    Perhaps you don't like being objectified by your race...i.e. you don't like to date guys that are 'into' Blacks? If so...the good thing about LA is that it's a HUGE area. I was eventually able to date and develop friendships with men that didn't objectify or reject me. You will too...and hopefully, they will care more about YOU than your skin color, either pro or con. It just takes time to meet genuine guys...in the meantime, just work on developing your mind and body. He WILL show up...I know it.
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    Mar 25, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    You will find someone dude just be patient and in the mean time just work on bettering yourself, if your not happy with yourself how is anyone else gonna be happy with u!!
    also we all come across rejection. I as a latino guy have always been into white guys since i was a youngster but i always get rejected by them. White guys never look at me either, and believe me i know im always looking at them. I just dont appeal to them which sucks but o well i dont dwell on it....... It is what it is!!icon_exclaim.gif
  • chapguy123

    Posts: 25

    Mar 27, 2011 3:47 AM GMT
    Close, but asian men have it more difficult than black men. Though black women have it a lot harder than asian women (who don't have it hard at all).

    But I feel your pain. It's difficult to be a minority in the gay dating world.
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    Mar 27, 2011 4:37 AM GMT
    I think this one post OP "has left the building"
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    Apr 01, 2011 5:10 AM GMT
    chapguy123 saidClose, but asian men have it more difficult than black men. Though black women have it a lot harder than asian women (who don't have it hard at all).

    But I feel your pain. It's difficult to be a minority in the gay dating world.

    Yes,you are right. So I just date Asian guys Chineses and Japaneses.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    I have an issue with this thread, even though I created one in the same 'bracket'.

    First off, Mexican IS NOT the only Hispanic group in the fucking world. I grew up in Florida, and honestly Mexicans in Florida are seen as the bottom of the barrel, worst than Black, worst than trailer trash group. There are very few Mexicans in Florida who are NOT illegal immigrants or offspring of. Growing up in high school, they were treated by far the worst.

    But, it wasn't until I moved to Texas that all of that changed. Suddenly they were normal citizens. Not 'dirty Mexicans' or 'Orange pickers'. And now that I'm in Colorado and been to Las Vegas, I realize that Mexicans make up a very large part of this country's hispanic population BUT...but, not ALL.

    I prefer Puerto Ricans because they are more accepting of Blacks (but, not all of them) and I've dated and fell in love with several, who also fell in love with me. Now that I'm west of the Mississippi and north of Orlando, Fl...It is EXTREMELY hard to find any.

    FYI, I am still happy to be 'red' (unfortunently I can't say I'm Black because nothing about my skin or hair is Black. I don't want to act like a White or Mexican just to get one. Sure, I listed to House and Electro music, but thats by choice. I like me for who I am, and if I have to get the FUCK out of America to reach the level of attractiveness that I desire, so be it. I will leave this country to Australia, England or Spain if that's what it takes. Their minds are far more open than here.