Does this count as cheating in a relationship.....?

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    Mar 06, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    My BF recently sent really raunchy videos of himself to his ex, I found out the other day by accident. I asked him for one and he sent me one of him in his pants but the ones he sent his ex were really explicit!

    Does anybody see this as cheating? What should I do?
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    Mar 06, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    Harmless flirting is not cheating in my book--and this one does not appear to me to be anything but harmless (unless it's a prelude to something else). Personally, I think it's only cheating when (i) you're in an exclusive, monogamous relationship (and there's no ambiguity about it), and (ii) someone's hand, tongue, dick, ass, foot, or any body part touches another guy's body part. Thinking about fucking someone or getting fucked by someone does not constitute cheating. Now, if your boyfriend is on Manhunt with his legs spread wide open or his turgid dick in full view, then maybe there's cause for concern. Maybe he thinks you're a prude that's why he didn't send you a more explicit photo. Torture him until he gives you the real reason.
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    Mar 06, 2011 4:35 PM GMT


    Hmmm....exclusivity means just that. What kind of relationship do you two have?



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    Mar 06, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    thats just wrong, why would he send anything like that to an ex in the first place, cheating? maybe not, but what was he wanting those vids to lead too? what was his reason for sending them, Sorry but thats by no means harmless flerting, thats "hey check me out, wanna fuck?'. Don't think I could be with or stay with someone like that. Don't get me wrong , if we were out at a club and my man wanted to dance with someone else, or thought another guys was hot, thats one thing, showing his cock to the guy is diffrent, no way in hell I'd put up with that. maybe not full on cheating, but at very least unfaithfull
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    Mar 06, 2011 6:59 PM GMT
    I called him up on it and he said he was really lonely and horny and he let his cock over-rule his judgement.

    We've been together for just over a year, completely monogamous relationship. I understand we all have impulses and desires and the odd slip up but I'm really open with him and never call him up on going on porn sites etc. It's not my style to control people.

    What hurt me the most was that he sent some really hot videos of him wanking, to his ex, on Valentines day!!

    He's completely apologised and is really upset he did it but I can't understand why.
    Apparently his ex has been trying to get him back by sending videos and photos for the last few weeks. He finally caved and send a few back.

    I've said if anything else happens, you're gone! It's been really upsetting me and work (which is terrible!) and I don't know how to move on!

    Thanks for your advise guys!!
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    Mar 06, 2011 7:23 PM GMT
    Stand firm. This was rather beyond tacky.

    Keep us posted and in the meantime *HUG*

    -us
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    Mar 06, 2011 7:44 PM GMT
    Its cheating.

    why in the gay world do we seem to tolerate it? If a guy did that with another woman, his wife or girlfriedn wouldnt tolerate it.

    but many gay guys seem to lower their standards and think its acceptable and means"nothing".

    No wonder gay guys are seen as slutty etc. I think you were right to be upset.

    I totally feel for you.

    HUG
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    Mar 06, 2011 9:09 PM GMT
    Thank you guys, it's very touching and it's all great advise.

    The problem is, I love him completely, but I love me more.
    I've explained if it happens again then the relationship is over - which he's okay with. He seems genuinely very sorry.

    We've been seeing less of each other as I've moved 50 miles away, we used to see each other every night now it's 2-3 times a week.

    He says it was a complete accident and it won't happen again.

    You guys are fab x

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    Mar 06, 2011 9:20 PM GMT
    It's sketchy but I think you made the right choices. If he does it again, drop him. There's no need to put up with that crap more than once.
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    Mar 06, 2011 10:38 PM GMT
    I think it's ironic that you're complaining about your boyfriend and yet here you are on RealJock, where your only picture is one of your dick, and your profile states that you are looking for dating and/or a relationship icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 06, 2011 10:45 PM GMT
    Cardinal724 saidI think it's ironic that you're complaining about your boyfriend and yet here you are on RealJock, where your only picture is one of your dick, and your profile states that you are looking for dating and/or a relationship icon_rolleyes.gif



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    Mar 06, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    The purpose of the pics and the video were to turn on someone else, then I would consider it cheating.
    Your bf seems to know he did something wrong, but he might not consider it cheating. You should tell him if you do consider it cheating, so he'll know why you were so hurt.
    Communicate with your bf. His ex is getting in the way of your relationship. Maybe he should talk to the ex about sending inappropriate videos. He can tell the ex that he's in a relationship and doesn't want any more videos. Then it's up to the ex if he can respect your boundaries. If not, then it's not wise for your bf to be in communication with the ex.